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date: 12/12/2024
subj: comment 12122024_050522
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hoping all is good for now:

today I got checked out for my fasiculations. they appeared in aug 2024, and 
over time got worse. of course I researched this on the internet and it leads
one to believe they have ALS. I'm so sorry for anyone sufering from ALS, and
anything like it. Its horrifying and how Dr. Stephen Hawking lived with it for
so long with an outward appearance with grace, is a testement to currage and
strength in those who suffer from such afflictions. As I stradle the line of
doom, fear, hope, and determination daily inspecting and comparing my body for
any changes that indicate the worst is true. I wish for the opposite but the
sad part is my focus is on the negative. It started in my thumb on my right
hand, and I paid it little attention. My focus was on training for a 100 mile
bike ride through the hills near my home. I completed a 100 mile training ride
a few weeks before. Then I completed the office 100 mile ride. The at night my
tricept started to cramp after a day of wieght training. Within a couple weeks
I had a severe cramp in my right tricept pushing up on a shopping cart at the
store. My tricept hurt for a couple days. Then more fasiculations appeared, and
more cramps. I told my doctor but he gave it no attention. Of course the
internets say if you have fasiculations for a few weeks call your doctor, and
although the internet says stuff like that, the doctors don't seem to care. 
After more time passed and my mind worried more and my body was buzzing more I
convinced my doctor to get me a referal. Those are not easy to deal with,
everyone is busy in the medical world and months go by before I can see a
Neurologist. I got my date with the Nerologist eventually hoping the doctor wil
not tell me the worst, but also hoping to accept any news the doctor has to say
because as people we like to plan our life. I mean if I know its going to be
a lot shorter than I expected I have to prepare to make things easier on anyone
around me who might have to deal with me and my junk. when I was waiting for
my day with the Neurologist I just told myself no matter what I'm going to keep
trying to be healthy, do my exercises and fight the demons life delivers my way
for everything is a lesson to learn. What I learned in my worry is be more
compassionate, and kind, and understanding, nobody knows what another person
big or small, young or old is going through and dealing with. 

Today my doctor said I have with high certainty BFS. I hope it stays that way. 
I have a lot to do, and a family to support. 

I'm so sorry for anyone dealing with terminal conditions. My heart and
compassion goes out to all of you. Know this we will all meet up in the same
place together, in this universe. I love you all.