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-72-
Here is a letter from A.I.S.B. to POEE:
The World's Oldest and Most Successful Conspiracy
BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI
Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (3090 A.L., 4850 A.M.)
Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.D., 5536 A.M.)
[ ] Official Business [X] Surreptitious Business
From: MAD MALIK, Hauptscheissmeister
Dear Brother Mal-2,
In response to your request for unclassified agitprop to be inserted
in the new edition of _Principia,_ hope the following will be of use.
And please stop bothering us with your incessant letters!
Episkopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary Sojac, informs me that you
are welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show us to have
been fully established in Atlantis, circa 18 000 B.C., under Kull, the
galley slave who ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived by Pelias
of Koth, circa 10 000 B.C. Possible it was he who taught the inner
teachings to Conan of Cimmeria after Conan because King of Aquilonia.
First brought to the western hemisphere by Conan and taught to Mayan
priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl). That was 4 Ahua, 8 Cumhu, Mayn
date. revived by Abdul Alhazrad in his infamous _Al Azif,_ circa 800
A.D. (_Al Azif_ translated into Latin by Olaus Wormius, 1132 A.D., as
_The Necronomicon._) In 1090 A.D. was the founding of the Ismaelian
Sect (Hashishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with secret teachings based on
Alhazred, Pelias, and Kull. Founding of the Illuminated Ones of
Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1, 1776. He based it on the
others. Weishaupt brought it to the United States during the period
that he was impersonating George Washington; and it was he who was the
Man in Black who gave the design for the Great Seal to Jeferson in the
garden that night. The Illuminated tradition is now, of course, in
the hands of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.),
headquartered here in the United States.
Our teachings are not, need I remind you, available for publication.
No harm, though, in admitting that some of them can be found disguised
in Joyce's _Finnegan's Wake,_ Burrough's _Nova Express,_ the King
James translation of _The Holy Bible_ (though not the Latin or
Hebrew), the _The Blue Book._ Not to speak of Ben Franklin's private
papers (!), but we are still suppressing those.
Considering current developments -- you know the ones I speak of -- it
has been decided to reveal a few more of our front organizations.
Your publication is timely, so mention that in addition to the old
fronts like the Masons, the Rothchild banks, and the Federal Reserve
System, we now have significant control of the Federal Bureau of
Investigation (since Hoover died last year, but that is still secret),
the Students for a Democratic Society, the Communist Party U.S.A., the
American Anarchist Association, the John Dillinger Died For You
Society and the Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful to continue the
sham of the Birchers that we are seeking world domination; so do not
reveal that political and economic control was generally complete
several generations ago and that we are just playing with the world
for a while until civilization advances sufficiently for phase five.
Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria
-- The Discordian Society --
[Illustration: a hand reading
MORE points to the next page]
MALIK to Mal-2 pg. 2
In fact you might still push Vennard's _The Federal Reserve Hoax_:
"Since the Babylonian Captivity there has existed a determined,
behind-the-scenes, under-the-table, atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian
force -- worshippers of Mammon -- whose undying purpose is world
control through the control of Money. July 1, 1776 [correct that to
May 1st -- Vennard can't get anything right] the Serpent raised its
head in the underground secret society known as the Illuminati,
founded by Adam Weishaupt. There is considerable documentary evidence
to prove all revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes, and chaos stem
from this source." Etc., etc. You know the stuff.
The general location of our U.S. HQ, incidentally, has been nearly
exposed; and so we will be moving for the first time this century
(what a drag!). If you want, you can reveal that it is located deep
in the labyrinth of sewers beneath Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is
presided over by the Dealy Lama. Enclosed are some plans for several
new potential locations. Please review and add any comments you feel
pertinent, especially regarding the Eristic propensity of the Pentagon
site.
Oh, and we have some good news for you, Brother Mal! You know that
Zambian cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he has secretly
coordinated the FBI computers with the Zurich System and our
theoreticians are in ecstasy over the new information coming out.
Look, if you people out there can keep from blowing yourselves up for
only two more generations, then we will finally have it. After 20 000
years, Kull's dream will be realized! We can hardly believe it. But
the outcome is certain, given the time. Our grandchildren, Mal! If
civilization makes it through this crisis, our grandchildren will
live in a world of authentic freedom and authentic harmony and
authentic satisfaction. I hope I'm alive to see it, Mal, success is
in our grasp. Twenty thousand years...!
Ah, I get spaced just thinking about it. Good luck on the
_Principia._ Ewige Blumenkraft! HAIL ERIS.
Love, MAD MALIK
[A fingerprint follows]