Dilbert - 1991-07-28 - 
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 (IMG) 1991-07-28
       The sign over Dogbert's desk reads, "Dogbert's Find-A-Friend Service."
         A man says, "I'd like to find a friend."  Dogbert says, "Have a
       seat."   Dogbert says, "I need to ask a few questions, so I don't
       accidentally match you with somebody who's too good for you."  
       Dogbert says, "One: When a friend doesn't return a borrowed tool, do
       you?  a: Make sarcastic comments; b: buy a new tool; c: set a lethal
       trap."   The man answers, "C: Set a lethal trap."   Later, Dogbert
       reads the results of the test and says, "I'm afraid you haven't
       qualified for a normal friend . . . I could set you up with somebody
       who's new in town, but it wouldn't last."   Dogbert says, "There's one
       option . . . Two, if you count growing sea monkeys."   The man stands
       at Dilbert's door.  Dilbert says, "Yes, I hate sea monkeys too.  Who
       are you?"
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