Subject: SUPER SCIO ARCHIVE 69 - JAN 2000 PILOT POSTS TO ARS/ACT
Date: 4 Jan 2000 04:00:15
From: pilot@scientology.at (The Pilot)
Newsgroups: alt.clearing.technology

POST69.txt

SUPER SCIO ARCHIVE 69 - JAN 2000 PILOT POSTS TO ARS/ACT

Jan 4, 1999

The first two posts went to both ARS and ACT, the remainder
were posted to ACT only.

Note that I also posted a sci fi story around XMAS in between
this and the previous archive.

Best,

The Pilot (aka Ken Ogger)

==========================================

Contents:

 subj: Super Scio - NEW REFORMER'S SLOGAN (GOOD FOR PICKETS)
 subj: Super Scio - ON REFORM (Attn Bob Minton etc.)
 subj: Super Scio - CURRENT STATUS (CASE SPIN AND RECOVERY)
 subj: Super Scio Tech - Mockups
 subj: Super Scio Tech - Processes For Rough Days
 subj: Super Scio Tech - Research Notes (2D etc.)

==========================================

 subj: Super Scio - NEW REFORMER'S SLOGAN (GOOD FOR PICKETS)

NEW REFORMER'S SLOGAN (GOOD FOR PICKETS)

I wandered down to the complex, just walking around, not making
trouble.  Basically just getting out and regaining some old
anchor points in celebration of the new millenium.

In truth I still like the place and would like to see some
reforming going on and the hostilities ended.

And the indications now are that about a third of the membership
wants reform, and I mean big time reform like I've been
talking about.  These were the folks who went to the event
and shocked the critics by giving covert little thumbs up
signs to the picketers even as they were going into the
event being picketed.  At a guess, they represented about
5000 out of the 15000 or so who went to the event.  DM is
really lucky that a "reform now" chant didn't start when
he walked out on stage.

But two thirds of the membership are still hiding under a
fanatical turtle shell, afraid to even talk for fear of
going PTS to the SPs or becoming sick due to exposure to
confidential data.

It doesn't help to rub their noses in it.

You need something light and easy and very very true.

And the most basic thing that is wrong is the "afraid to
find out" button, and even Ron has written about how bad
and deadly that one is.

So here is the slogan I thought of.  It is intentionally
ultra mild, you want something the membership can face,
and it is something LRH talked about many times, so they
will know it is correct.

IT'S SAFE TO LOOK

Please put that one on at least a few picket signs next
time.

Best,

The Pilot

==========================================

 subj: Super Scio - ON REFORM (Attn Bob Minton etc.)

ON REFORM (Attn Bob Minton etc.)

I'm glad to see the increasing pushes towards reform rather
than destruction.  As I'm sure you're all aware, I believe
deeply in Scientology and the tech despite feeling that the
organization and policy have become toxic.

I have often listed points for reform and discussed the
matter both on ARS and ACT.  The best summary of what I
want changed is the list of points on the Scientology
Reformer's Home Page at fza.org.

But the recent discussions got me thinking about whether
there might be one key point which would cause all of the
others to resolve eventually.

In other words, if I could wish for one and only one change,
what would it be.

I think that it is the confidentiality.

If Scientology wasn't afraid of its own data, then they
could talk, both amongst themselves and to the outside
world, critics or whatever, without fear.  And that open
communication would allow everything else to sort itself
out eventually.

And if everything else were changed but the confidentiality
remained, then I would guarantee that they would still be
scared and sneaking around and scamming and hiding from
things and eventually all the abuses would be back in force.

So that's the one, the key point that everything else
hangs on.

And there are endless 1950s LRH references that say that
confidentiality is the one key thing that would destroy
the subject and turn it into a dangerous organization.
Looks like he was right.

In the 1950s they had whole track and entities and space
opera and OT drills and all sorts of stuff and none of
it was hidden and nobody got sick from it and it was lots
of fun.

Around 1964-5, things were made secret and the place has
been a hellhole ever since.

A picket sign that said "Don't be afraid of your own
tech" might be a nice gesture.

Also, "Hearing OT 3 data never killed anybody."

You might ease up a bit on pushing the data itself during
pickets just so that the members will look and read the
signs.

The important point is that you talk about OT 3 or whatever
and don't get sick.

Too much making fun of the beliefs is actually not appropriate
although even I can't resist making some jokes occasionally.

And I do think this stuff is real.  But it's like knowing
that eggs are real and then you see these idiots arguing
about which end of the egg to break first and having holy
wars about it as in Gulliver's Travels, and its like
this big butt sticking up in the air and you can't resist
giving it a kick.

See the other post that I wrote on a new reformer's slogan
("It's safe to look").

The abuses against the internet and the suits against
the critics all hing on protecting confidential data.
If it wasn't confidential, all that would evaporate.

If data is secret, it can be called a scam.  If its all
out in the open, then at least it is honest even if you
might think that its a load of foolishness.

I think that the keynote is that as long as the CofS
has secrets, it is dangerous.

You can put up with somebody who is open an honest even
if you disagree with them.  You can't if they are sneaking
around hiding things.

You control people by making things secret and keeping
them afraid.  The controls evaporate if that secrecy
disappears.

So I think that the rest of it would all straighten out
naturally given a bit of time and some free and open
communication.  But this confidentiality point is a killer
that keeps people from talking and makes them afraid to
find out things.

Best,

The Pilot

==========================================

 subj: Super Scio - CURRENT STATUS (CASE SPIN AND RECOVERY)

CURRENT STATUS (CASE SPIN AND RECOVERY)

(the following contains explicit adult material - viewer
discrection is advised)

Sorry that I didn't post anything in December and am only
posting a small amount now.

What happened is that I went into a real tailspin casewise,
not because of processing but because of having failed to
run out an old sore spot that was spinning me in long before
I ever got into Scientology.

I did warn a couple of people quietly, but I did not want
to talk about this in public while it was halfway handled.
And maybe some people will think that I should still keep
my mouth shut now for PR reasons, but I can't research
well over withholds.  And so you're stuck with hearing
about the real thing instead of some candy coated PR image
of a super OT.  But please realize that what's in here is
personal session data, so don't be jumping down my throat
about it.

The area was what Scientology calls the second dynamic (2D),
in other words sex, love, family etc.  This has always been
the super hot cave-in area on my own case and was the ruin
that I got into Scientology to solve.

The key button on my case was "no sex equal suicide" and I
mean EQUALS in big bold letters, unquestionable.  I didn't
actually know that then, it only became obvious to me
during the last week, but it explains everything so I'll
tell it from that perspective.

And of course shy teenagers don't have sex, so I was
suicidal throughout my teens.  And I knew for sure that
I would die by age twenty, either due to suicide or by
drug overdose because I was saving doing drugs as my
last resort to breaking through all the mental blockage
and having sex.  As it was, I never did drugs at all
because I had planned my own demise so carefully and
was saving that for the end.

This will come as a total shock to my family because I
had it totally withheld.  And it wasn't a withhold out
of guilt.  I simply had two classes of people, and in
this area, anyone who even hinted that there should be
a little less sex equated with somebody who wanted to
kill me and therefore was an enemy on this particular
topic.  You don't give data to the enemy.  Simple
reactive figure figure.

And the nature of the trap was that no sex put me in
such a horrible frame of mind that nobody in their right
minds would admire me or sleep with me while I was in
that state, and yet I would never get out of it until
somebody did.  A self created catch-22.  And even in
my early teens before Scientology I knew it was self
created and that I was doing it to myself but I had
no way to stop.

But I was a real bright kid, a regular super nerd
(never mind that I was also talented and good looking,
my case always bounced the girls that I attracted off
at a hundred miles an hour).  So I figured that my
first action should be to study anything I could that
might get me out of the mess.

Hence the fanatical search for answers, and the facination
with metaphysics (I expected to be dead soon), and
the studying of psycho-therapy (which confirmed my
fears that I was a true sex maniac who prefered to
kill himself rather than go truely psycho), and
finally lead me into Scientology.

And I suppose that people had the impression of yet
another shy teenager who got over his nervousness
by doing a TRs course.  But the real story was of
a kid with a documented super genius level IQ and
scholorships and a psycho level of sex drives and
inhibitions suddenly snapping out of it and straightening
out.  This was a tremendous gain rather than a mild
improvement.

Scientology gave me real communication skills and confront
and then kicked me way upscale with power processing.
And suddenly everything was quite and the whole mess
was gone and I simply started sleeping with girls.
Objects and stuff were moving around too.  The real
keyed out OT state.  I figured I was home free.

But I never did find out what was wrong and I would
not even have known to make that no sex equals suicide
statement.  And the entire area was so charged up and
heavily suppressed that it wouldn't even read on the
meter and didn't come up in processing.  It was still
totally out of the band of accessibility.  And I
actually tended to forget that I had ever been that
way, the suppress on it was so heavy.  Anyway, I felt
just fine and figured that there was nothing there.

Until I didn't have sex for 6 months and mentally
walked over the edge of a cliff.  Bang.  Total
suicidal spin, hopeless, no case gain, nothing
changed, just like when I was 14.

But this time I knew that all I had to do was have
sex somehow or other (wrong).  So I figured that I
could push through.  Ran around with a girl for
a few months and she liked running around with me
but was sleeping occasionally with other guys and
wouldn't with me.  Finally I was leaving her and
she slept with me once out of guilt.  That's when
I learned that sex alone doesn't work at all.
It has to be with admiration and affection.  So
I could forget about hookers or anything else.
It works mechanically, and maybe I feel good for
a few hours and then I'm right back in the suicidal
tailspin with no way out.

And I knew that my case would keep any girl from
sleeping with me while I was in that state, and
basically whenever I'm that way I'm highly anti
social and go totally out of ARC with everybody.

But I knew that processing worked.  So I did
doctorate course stuff intensively. I knew how
to solo them from hearing the tapes.  About six
months of that, and feeling spun in all the time.
But one day I managed to get a beam on something
and was going around for a few days pleased as
punch and even putting beams on peoples hands
(with their permission) and moving their hand
around where I wanted it to move (much to their
amazement).  And it just so happened that a
great girl wandered by and dragged me into bed
(and she didn't even know about the OT demonstations,
I was not using it as a pickup line).  That led
to my brief first marriage.  After that I simply
made a point of never letting six months go by.
The area is easy as long as I'm not driving the
girls away with some sort of subconsious reverse
OT ability.

Then I moved to LA and got on upper levels and
finished OT 3 fairly quickly and had made a big gain
on it and was persistantly FNing and of course nothing
was bothering me in the area so I didn't worry
about it, and figured it was gone.  Let the area slide
while I was getting some good computer consulting work
going and so forth.

Right over the cliff's edge, spinning, no gains,
ready to do myself in.  And man, I'd moved objects
around and had fantastic case changes, so I knew
that it only felt like no gains.

And this time I was also loaded with talents and
abilities and much more experienced.  So I held it
all down and tried one practical thing after another,
even throwing big parties and having girls clustered
around admiring my piano playing and taking girls
to romantic resturants and what have you.  A
total waste of time.  And hidden suicidal urges
kept out of sight all the time, and I didn't dare
even try to get auditing because suicidal tendencies
is one of the things that causes the org to offload
you as a case, they are afraid that the psych's
have implanted you or something.  Anyway, I figured
the area was too overcharged to read on a meter
(it was actually - I had already learned metered
solo auditing) and I'd just spin worse on mishandling
if they did try and run it.

Finally the solution was to reconnect with prior
2Ds. That did work.  And Ann, who I'd lived with
in New York for a year was the best and eventually
we got married.  And we had many good years
together.  And of course that whole area of spin
was totally forgotten and of trivial importance,
I would actually kind of forget how bad it was, so
I just went along happily with Ann and didn't worry
about it.

But early on we were saving the world together
through Scientology.  And later she was saving
the world by sheltering cats (which actually is
a good thing, but is not my thing) and I was
saving the world through researching the tech
(which she did not want to hear one word about -
see the post I just wrote on "New Reformer's
Slogan").  And so we were badly out of alignment.

And then I foolishly hung on, and of course it
lead to trouble.  You can blame the eventual
betrayal on me, it was in the cards and anyone
who didn't have so much charge in the area would
have predicted it.  And it was only a momentary
thing, we are divorcing on amiable terms.

And of course it had been decades since that
thing had last keyed in and I had run out orders
of magnitude more case than before.  I'd even
researched and run out a suicide implant platen.
So I figured that I'd be just fine and I was in
the middle of researching and crusading and trying
to help people so I said the hell with worrying
about the 2D.

If I'd had any goddamn sense, I would have started
running charge off the 2D when I could have done
so easily.  But the stuff I finally dug up had
so much suppress on it that it seemed like there
was nothing there until it smashed into me again.

That's right, 6 months like clockwork, right over
the edge of the cliff, trapped, suicidal, no gains,
exactly like when I was 14.

I was that way for all of December 99.  And I damn
well was not going to talk for fear that I'd drag
everyone to hell with me.  And I wouldn't write
or post stuff when I'm spun in, I think that's
how we got little bits of toxin mixed into late
era Scn.

But the self clearing did work and much to my
surprise I actually found the real stuff that was
under there, and it wasn't even sex at basic.

But I had a hell of a time doing it, rollercoastering
like you wouldn't believe.  I'd run a process
and get a big cognition and a huge keyout and it
would seem like it was all gone, but really only
one percent or so would have actually errased.
And then the next day it would all smash back in
(except for the tiny fraction that had been
confronted).

The first time I blew the mass, it was simply with
problems of comparable magnitude and it never
seemed like a problem after that - a certain
stuckness was gone for good.  And laughably I thought
that I'd handled it and immediately wrote that
post on Processes for Rough Days.  Although it
was keyed back in the next day, the post still seems
good so I'm including it in this batch.

And I ran tons and tons of stuff to huge cognitions.
Just about everything you could think of, overts
and ARC breaks and protests and must haves and
I probably doubled my recall on the last thousand
years on earth by running charge off of every 2D
I could find.

And gradually I worked deeper despite rollercoastering
and spinning like a top.  I must have run at least
fifty major processes on the area, and I was getting
fanstastic cogs, seeing things I'd never been aware
of before.

I even got a better definition of Love out of it.
It's a tough one, so I wouldn't claim that this is
right, but its better than anything I've had before.
Love is high affinity plus asthetics and sympathy.

I'm still a bit unsure about the heavy romantic
impulses (that's the asthetic part), but a lot of
the confusing things make sense when seen across
multiple lives.  I found one huge storybook level
sacrifice everything to be together type love 3
lifetimes back and it turned out the same being
that I'd rescued from the turks in Constantinople.
And I'd carried her back to Genoa with me and we'd
planned a life together, but of course I had to
hunt down and kill the trator who'd opened the
gates, and after I got him one of his friends got
me and that life with her never got to happen.
So of course when we found each other again nothing
was going to keep us apart.

And I found admiration deep under sex and found it
running much earlier on the track.  I even found
some sort of implant item which is "To Be Admired
IS to create sex."

But even stuff like this would just pull me out
for a few hours or a day.

Finally I got the first real glimple.  I was trying
to hit the area as a hidden standard, since it acts
that way even though I know about it.  And I bounced
ideas off of a friend and he suggested that if it
persisted it must be hiding something quite different.
And I realized that I used it to mask off a horrible
mass of upsets with the world and society.

A few processes later, I stumbled on the next key
point.  I finally realized that I had an association
between no sex and suicide.  I mentioned that earlier
because it makes everything fall into place, but I
never knew that until now, it was just this confusing
spin which often included suicidal thoughts.  And
there are quite a few lifetimes where I did suicide
in the last thousand or so years, so I'd previously
assumed that it was just a disrelated thing that keyed
in too.

So I decided to look for an incident where not having
sex was associated with suicide, and I found one and
I was on the overt side of it.  This was two lifetimes
ago, the Bill Lewis lifetime in the Cival War.  And
although I had been up and down the track on my 2Ds
here on Earth, I had never found one in that lifetime
until this point, it was just totally suppressed and
not-ised.  It turns out (I hadn't known this before)
that in the Southern Aristocracy, the men were never
horney around the Southern Bells because they had the
slave quarters to visit.  So the girls tended to go
a little crazy.  I had just come back a hero from
one of the first minor skirmishes at the beginning
of the war and was being idolized at a ball at
the governor's mansion in Richmond, and I was not used
to big city life or the more sophisticated Richmond
society.  I think her name was Anabele.  She tore her
clothes off and threw herself at me and I called her
lots of nasty names and refused to have sex with her.
Later during the dancing, she came down to the main
ballroom, put a dueling pistol to her right temple,
and blew her brains out.

I'm sure it made the Richmond papers.  It was probably
about a month after the battle of Big Bethel.  If
anyone has access to Cival War era newpaper archives
in Richmond, please give a look see.

This one also taught me why I have trouble reacting
sexually to black girls (and I've known a number of
beautiful ones who've been good friends of mine, but
only friends).  When I'd visit those slave quarters
it was with gifts and I'd help to get the girls better
treatment because I had to be admired and could never
force sex, but it was still an overt.  That lifetime
was a bad one in many respects.

I'd hoped that this one was basic, but it turned
out to only be a lock, and the huge weight of charge
was back the next day.

Then, a few processes later, I found a sort of charged
asthetic story, maybe something from the Reality wars,
like the one about courage that gets you to make your
enemies stronger (see the self clearing book).

This one was the story of an evil dictator (Hitler like)
who is killing everybody and then is saved by some girl
falling in love with him and this brings him back from
evil.  And the twisted point of the story is that you
wreck everything until somebody gives you love.

But it seemed like this implanted picture had some
sort of similarity to something that really had happened
to me.  And then the whole damn thing fell into my lap.

In super scio chapter 3, I talk about the R3M style
actual GPMs.  I ran out my current one (the goal to
be intelligent) intensively, but I only handled the
previous one (to be holy) very lightly to big cogs
but not real errasue.  I found it very hard to get
into the context of the viewpoint that I'd lived that
goal with.

At the very end of an actual, there is a short reverse
where you have a "not" version of the goal.  In my
case it was "to not be holy", and that sort tail end
is a real horror, a time when you're trying to solve
everything by destruction.  I have such a period back
in the tens of thousands of years ago.  I had gotten
a vague idea of it while running the GPM, but had
not really confronted or handled it, and actually it
seemed very unimportant and hard to find, but that
was really because it was heavily suppressed.

I could have avoided all this with one simple
question if I'd only known.  The question would
have been:

"What did you use to abandon that goal"

And the answer would have been sex.

That is not always the answer for everybody or all
GPMs, but it is one of a set of likely answers.

To be specific, at the very end I was this evil character
with considerable power.

But there was a group, actually an entire planet, that
was trying to make OTs.  Amoung other things, they were
a bit of a love cult with things like group marriages
and heavy use of sex to turn evil characters into good
guys.  And it was heavy admiration/love/affection type
stuff with devine forgiveness and so forth, a bit like
these "you are loved" type Christian shows but with
mass orgies as part of the services.

All of the overts, evil purposes, etc. from the end
of that decayed GPM were burried under this.  And I
flipped off of that GPM and over onto the top of the
"to be intelligent" goal, so I quickly because a good
guy and was fast on their OT like stuff.

But they were scared of renegade OTs also.  So you
accepted an implant, freely agreeing to it by choice,
and that was that if you ever began to feel evil again,
you would destroy yourself.

And all that old shit was not really errased but just
burried under waves of sex.  Remove the sex and the
old evil purposes begin to surface again.  And then
of course I'm feeling evil so I'm supposed to kill
myself.

Just wild.

That one stopped the roller coaster.

I wouldn't say that I'm totally clear on the area.
In fact, pulling the lid off has revealed tons of
junk to sort out and I'm still scratching my head
over a lot of it.  The tail end of that previous
GPM is loaded to hell and gone with evil postulates,
bad intentions, and all sorts of overts tangled up
into a real mess.

But the charge level has gone way down and things
are easy to look at and I feel like its safe to
talk again.

Another unexpected and surprising side effect was
that my notoriously heavy smoking instantaneously
dropped down to a milder level.  I'm not trying to
quit, I like some of my vices and abberations (don't
want to be too perfect and don't like agreeing when
society gets in my face about something).  But it
was like a plug being pulled.  I suppose that I
shifted from a light smoker to a heavy compulsive
one during one of those suicidal periods and it kind
of locked in place after that.  I'm not even seeing
it clearly or logically yet, its justs this wild
side effect and I don't even know if its stable,
but there must have been a massive shift in my body
chemestry when that suicide impulse came apart.

Another thing I learned while doing all that processing
last month was that I'd let my space and anchor points
collapse while doing all this revolutionary crusading.

When I was doing all that early research, I was pulling
back a bit from contact because I didn't know where it
was all going and I didn't want to drag other people
into trouble.  Then, once I started talking on the net,
I wanted to stay out of sight.  Add to that Ann's
jeliosy, which made me tend to want to avoid girls,
and LA's increasing no smoking restrictions which put
me out of ARC with a lot of places, and I was just
dropping locations and anchor points left right and
center.

And I was hardly noticing it because the mockup processes
and exterior drills work well when you're in good shape
and you do get lots of space and havingness and I was
also getting all of this tremendous communication on
the net.  So I was quite fine and happy until I got
that massive case keyin at the beginning of December.

The advantage of physical universe stuff is that it
remains stable and doesn't fade when your case caves
in.

And I looked around and realized that I'd let things
go much too far.  Too few friends and too few places
I liked to go, and too many old comm lines disappearing
now that my identity was out (I haven't been declared
or even bothered by OSA, but some people disconnect
anyway, and some have disconnected on the opposite
side too - people who are so upset with Scn that they
don't even want contact with an Scn reformer.)

So I plan to spend more of my time out in the real
world.  And actually that bears its own fruit.  Just
jumping in the car and making the short drive from
North Hollywood down to the LA Scn complex (something
I used to do often but have rarely done in the last
few years) really got me feeling a lot better and
gave me back some old connections and lead to the
nice realization of that new slogan which I'm posting
separately.

Right now I'm behind on everything.  I haven't even
looked yet at net messages which I saved for responding
too.  So I know I'm being neglectful, both in private
and public email and postings.  However, I'm doing
this as a volunteer and making nothing from it and I
do have to work full time at programming on top of
everything else, so you'll just have to put up with
me.

What with finding that sewer of junk that I want to
run out of the last GPM, and my intentions to spend
a little more time living life (with the suicide
compulsions gone, it would seem like a nice time to
start a 2D, I do still need the ARC and the havingness),
I suspect that I will be a bit slower and lower volume
in my net communications.

But rest assured that I remain devoted to the cause.
Right now I'm feeling like I have one foot on each
side of the fence and instead of climbing over, I
want the damn fence torn down.  It never should have
been put up in the first place.

A sobering thought is that I needed to know everything
in standard tech to make it through and yet I never
would have made it if I had only known what's in
standard tech and nothing else.

And I always push as hard as I can at the research.
Unfortunately last month was a jumble of crap and
I was having the damndest time trying to write
anything up even though I was spotting lots of stuff.
So the best I can do is this writeup plus a jumbled
mess of notes from last month that I'm posting
separately.

But I'm back on my feet again, so you can expect
good stuff in the future.

Wecome to the New Millenium,

The Pilot (aka Ken Ogger)

==========================================

 subj: Super Scio Tech - Mockups

MOCKUPS

Every once in awhile, my ability to mockup suddenly improves.
I think that this is a cumulative gain.  You run mockups
occasionally as part of other drills, and then one day there
is a jump in ability to mockup.  And then you go along using
these better mockups and one day there is a jump in ability.
And then you go along at that level and one day there is a
jump in ability.

My thought on this is that eventually we will get up to the
point of mocking up stuff as real and solid as the physical
unvierse.  Obviously I'm not there yet or else I'd just
mockup a heaven of some sort and invite people to come visit.

But I noticed something interesting this time.  When my ability
to mockup suddenly jumped to a new level (more real, more
certain, more solid, more depth and color, etc.), the mockups
went slightly out of control briefly.

And I realized that that always happens when my ability to
mockup improves.  I had not paid much attention to it before
because I have so many tricks for bringing mockups under
control if there is any tendency for them to misbehave.  So
I just do a bit of processing and that momentary loss of
control gets handled and is soon forgotten because a big
leap like this only happens on rare occasions and it only
takes a few minutes processing to clean up this effect.

But if you don't know these tricks and are doing drills
that raise your ability to mockup, this could give you
quite a bit of trouble.  So learn a few of these and have
them at your fingertips if a mockup or a picture seems to
misbehave or be out of control.  I put these thing fairly
early in the self clearing book because they are very easy
to do and they are life savers if your running advanced
processes.  In brief, the best tricks are to change something's
color and/or make copies of it, or to place it in various
precise locations.

The interesting thing here is that a jump in horsepower
briefly put my mockups slightly out of control.  I mocked
up a body and it was twice as real as such things used to
be and then suddenly I had a mockup of an old dying oriental
body with blood pouring out of its mouth, which I had not
put there.  And I changed its color a few times, and changed
the street it was lying in around (I had a whole little
village street show up with this thing) and suddenly had it
come under my control and remembered that it was the death
incident of an old lifetime way back when.

So then I mocked up a fly on the ceiling and besides the
tiny little fly, I got a big three foot one out of some
automaticity, and again brought it under control.

A couple more, which had only slight abberations, and then
everything stabilized, appearing only at my will and
only doing what I had them do without anything more
welling up out of the "bank".  Just a few minutes work
actually.

In doctorate course terminology, I had gotten a gain in
horsepower and suddenly acted like a Step IV or V case
who couldn't control their own mockups and had to process
back to Step I.  Except that this hadn't happened because
my case state had deteriorated.  Instead it had happened
because my case state had improved and I had, shall we
say, moved up into another band of abberation.

And it really was a major improvement, because even while
I was struggling a bit to bring things under control, I
was going "wow" at the degree of detail and color and
texture that I was getting, and not just on the automaticities
but on the stuff that I was putting there as I began to
take control.

This tells me that we keep our ability to mockup shut
down or turned to low volume on purpose, because if you
jacked the horsepower up to full all at once, you'd have
monsters and dead bodies and things poping into existance
and it would just be too horrible.

So you turn the volume up one notch, and stuff goes out
of control and you bring it under control.  And then you
turn it up another notch and it goes out of control and
you bring it under control at that new level, and so on.

And this also tells us that a major jump in horsepower
will unstabilize a case, but you shouldn't be afraid of
that because it is so easy to stabilize it again.  For
pictures and mockups, its those simple tricks of changing
colors etc.  And for subjective type case phenomena,
we have light recalls and ARC straightwire type processes
which run like dynamite at higher horsepower levels.

The mistake is to think that something is wrong when you
actually have a big gain that should be validated along
with doing a little bit of dusting off on the next layer
of abberation that you bumped into.

Hope this helps,

The Pilot

==========================================

 subj: Super Scio Tech - Processes For Rough Days

PROCESSES FOR ROUGH DAYS

I was having a couple of bad days, overly charged up on
some stuff (I'll spare you the details) and trying to do
some ordinary processing in the area of difficulty wasn't
really biting.

And of course I bumble around sometimes too, not thinking
of the obvious.

And the obvious was that I was trying to process over a
present time problem which had become a big stuck mass.
So I finaly got bright and invented a problem of comparable
magnitue.  I imagined myself lost in the woods in the dark,
cold and alone without food or a compass, and it was like
turning off a switch.  The charge on the other area (which
had nothing to do with this) was simply gone.  Amazing
really.  Nothing I would have predicted logically.  The
process simply worked, bang, on one command.

Despite all my experience with processing, it still astounds
me when something like that happens.  And I often forget
that it can happen because I'm much more inclined to try
and figure something out completely rather than counting
on keyout effects.

But if there is too much charge kicking around on something,
you're probably not going to spot a basic or sort the whole
thing out because the charge keeps derailing your thought
processes.

So you go for the quick keyout first and then, if you're
in the mood, you go back and dig for basics in the area,
but you key it out first because then you can dig in
comfort.

There are some reliable processes that are really good
workhorses for this sort of thing.

For a present time problem, the best keyout trick for use
solo is actually problems of comparable magnitude.  It
knocks the current charge out faster than other problems
processes and it works even in the face of zero ability
to confront or figure out the problem that you are stuck
in.  It is not actually the best one for learning things
or fixing you up so that the problem wouldn't come back
again tomorrow, but it is the quickest way to knock all
the charge off of your plate.  You can always follow it
with another problems process to take the thing apart
further so that it doesn't reoccur.

For protest, the best quick hit is the protest/admiration
process (alternately protest and admire the thing you are
protesting).  Again, it will work on just about zero
confront or knowledge and works well even in the face of
maximum charge.

For must haves, mock up a way to waste is good.

There's lots of these.  Which ones work best may vary
for different people.  Notice which ones work well for
you and keep them handy.

Best,

The Pilot

==========================================

 subj: Super Scio Tech - Research Notes (2D etc.)

RESEARCH NOTES (2D ETC.)

Read the post on "Current Status (case spin and recovery)"
first.

I didn't even feel up to writing up my notes up until
now, so this is a jumbled up hodge-podge of things
from almost a months worth of processing.  It is not
in any particular order.

I've only just barely pulled out of the spin, so
there is the chance that there might be a few toxic
twists in here or some wrong data.

---------

1. How good you feel when you are keyed out doesn't tell
you how much is really gone for good.  What tells you
for sure is that things are not quite as bad when you
are keyed in and struggling.  The constant rollercoaster
of temporary keyout followed by heavy keyin that was
happening to me all through December made this obvious
to me.

Reducing charge (while keyed in) was not apparent during
the early stages of running this.  I think that mind's
protection was limiting how much charge was present and
that there was enough stuff waiting in the wings to keep
filling the percieved level of charge up to maximum as
things got handled and blown.  But after a few weeks it
started to seem like there was gradually less and less
charge during the periods when I was totally keyed in.
It was like there was finally nothing extra waiting in
the reseviour so that the water level started really going
down.

---------

2. When I was struggling with the area, I was unwilling
to publish or talk much about it for fear of perverting
the tech or derailing the FZ with my own case.  So at one
point I decided to run some charge off of my worries on
this point to see what I'd find on the other side.

Basically I simply did mockups exaggerating the situation -
things like ordering orgies and then throwing everybody
in the RPF who complained (I got a good laugh out of that
one). When the surface charge cleared away, I realized that
the real worry was that if I wrote about an area that had
not been flattened, people would get pulled into the
non-confronted portion of my case in the area, getting
restimulated by it or copying it.  I think that this is
a valid concern.

This has other implications as far as getting sucked into
each others cases on the early track.

I also see terrible parallels with Ron and what happened
with him from the mid sixties onwards.  Unfortunately the
abberation was not sex or else he would have simply jumped
a few of the students and started writing sane policies
again.

---------

3. Obviously the real button is not sex.  For me it locks
up on admiration plus sex.  The sex is valueless without
admiration (and will not turn off the charge) and the
admiration is valueless unless there is sex involved (or
else I would just bask in the glow of the newsgroup).

The admiration linkage became obvious almost immediately.
One of the first processes I tried brought it into view
and it has remained there as a constant without variation
as I kept running things.  I don't know if it is only
the right underlying basic for me personally or whether
it is a unviersal constant.

Eventually I found an item "To be admired IS to create sex."
This one took a lot of charge off.  It seems to be part of
something larger.

---------

4. The very first process I ran sucessfully when all
this mess kicked into restim was problems of comparable
magnitude.  First I dabbled with other problems processes
and even considered the modern problem rudiment but it
seemed like only Comp Magnitude had the brute force
staying power to work solo in the face of the amount
of charge that had come in (and at that point it all
seemed like a great stuck solidity, so a problems
approach seemed right rather than trying some other
button).

I don't think that Comp Magnitude provides as much
insight or as good cogs as most of the other problems
processes, but I would now say that it is the one to
use to push through something that is just too damn
solid to get a grip on with other techniques.

Anyway, it not only keyed the area out for a day but
loosened it up sufficiently that other techniques
became runable.  And, at least up to now, it hasn't
indicated to hit the area again from the angle of
problems with some of the other problems processes.

The next one I used was "mockup a way to waste
sexual experiences" with a view to blowing must have
type charge in the area and that also worked
spectacularly in the face of heavy charge.

The third one was to just whipsaw it between two
extreme concepts so as to loosen the area up further.
I alternated "get the idea of never having a 2D
ever again" with "get the idea of having huge quantities
of 2D in the future."  I left the second command
extremely vague with the intention that the very
meaning itself should be allowed to shift as it
ran.

And I purposefully started out with that second
command actually being a mockup of huge quantities
of very degraded impersonal sex and just kind of
let it slide natually upwards, command after command
through whatever kind of 2D stuff I would really like
to have as my tone came up and ridges blew away.
And at the end it was just a mockup of pure admiration.

Before running that, I could have imagined all sorts
of other things as basics, such as caring or
partnership or whatever, but admiration is the one
that stayed in when everything else fell away.

And admiration remains as a constant in the area
(at least for me) whereas everything else seems to
run out.  Even things like careing for reduce in
intensity as losses are run out.  Very high powered
beings on the early track don't actually need to
be cared for but they do need admiration.

And of course it's mutual admiration.

---------

5. I've probably run at least fifty different processes
in the area so far.  I should really follow my own
advice and keep a detailed notebook.  But as I've been
writing up tech so intensively, I gradually slipped all
the way from keeping careful worksheets down to the point
of just writing up important things after the fact.

I do jot down important concepts or items if I feel I
might forget them before doing a writeup, but aside
from that the only real running record is the continual
series of posts that I do for the net.  Of course sometimes
I write or half write one and then sit on it for awhile
because the area is incomplete or still shifting around.
But there is surprisingly little of that, entire areas
have been pretty much laying themselves out on my plate
ever since I posted the Super Scio book.  Maybe just
good karma from having done a nice deed.

So this is the first time I've been banging around through
huge amounts of stuff and not even getting it written
down because I still felt too charged on the area.
Now of course I'm remedying that.

So you'll have to excuse me for not giving a complete
list of processes run in sequence and results obtained.
Most of it was pretty standard stuff with predictable
good results.  Anything unusual will be mentioned here.

---------

6. I suspect that there is early, prior to home universe,
stuff about fighting for each other's admiration.

One thing that I found in the home universe era was
a sort of synchronization of parts of one's home universe
with someone else's, giving spaces that were held in
common.  And eventually this deteriorated into the usual
jeiousy and so forth that we see on the 2D now.  Sort of
like Bill synchronizes the creation of the right side
of his home universe with the right side of Alice's, and
then he changes his mind and syncronizes with Carol's
instead and soon we have a sort of home universe era
Peyton Place even though we are dealing with bodiless
creators who are way above what we know of as sex.

---------

7. Another early version of male/female is simply to
have one person who creates the space (female) and one
who faces the outside world (male), and this simplifies
to the concept of a team where one person is on offense
and the other is on defense covering his back, and of
course that runs on other areas besides the 2D.

---------

8. During the Tibetan lifetimes, I worked hard at inverting
and backflowing the sex flows, feeding them back in instead
of out so as to turn off cravings and build up horsepower.
Although that entire cycle of lives ended with a major
keyed out OT state, when I saw that I could not excape all
the way out, I reincarnated as human.

In that first post-Tibetan life I was a great magician in
Tunisia.  I had this huge purpose to feed the starving
masses and tried to be a sort of wonder worker and I had
some degree of OT abilities turned on.  Then all those backed
up and inverted sex flows went into massive restimulation.
And I was truely powerful so I dramatized.  I did dedicate
myself to a worthwile crusade to feeding people better and
improving the lives of the poor, vast projects of irrigation
etc. which I sold the ruler on and got done.  But I accumulated
a tremendous harem and yet did not pay proper attention
to it or its affairs.

Of course there were lots of overts and I could give you
all sorts of stories, but the real point is that I would
suggest that channeling flows back in a feedback effect
is something that you shouldn't do too much of (it is
in some of the yogi practices), and I'm not saying don't
do it but just that a little goes a long way and you always
need to balance these with positive direct outflows etc.

---------

9. Simply handling 2D losses has be running like
crazy.

I've been running tons of track in the recent period
going back about a thousand years.  Not just loss
but lots of stuff.  And early on I was not tending
to get much that would run any earlier, so I have
been working over that material a lot.

One wild thing is that while the 2D terminals and
tons of other things and events and so forth were
coming into view in detail, anything to do with
children was completely missing (a bit shocking
in retrospect).

It was only when I took yet another pile of charge
off of my wife and only child dying in a plane
crash last lifetime that suddenly enough charge
came off of losing children that I could spot that
they had existed in my earlier lives.

Talk about blind spots.

I have been intentionally leaving the area of
children aside because I know that it is another
damn Pandora's box that will knock the charge levels
up through the roof again if I open it.

And it is not in restim, so I'm leaving well enough
alone and not running processes aimed in that
direction because there is enough to handle already.

But I don't stop it from coming up when it wants
to.  And I know that sooner or later I will have to
roll up my sleves and have a go at it.

---------

10. I've always been leary of claiming a famous name
on recent track, especially as too much is known and
documented and my recall is too poor.  But after
running so many 2D chains through the area, I'm
pretty damn certain that I was the composer Robert
Schumann back in the early 1800s.

And I discovered some crazy coincidences recently,
and I thought that I should mention them just because
I don't entirely understand how these things happen.

I pretty much taught myself to play the piano.  I
had a few lessons so I could puzzel out the notes
and I had a few beginners books and didn't even have
a piano (never did until I was working real jobs after
leaving staff and went out and bought one).

By an almost impossible set of coincidences, the
score for the Schumann piano concerto had ended up
in my hands, and I didn't really know what it was
or understand it.  Then one day I was home sick from
school and decided to try listening to a few classical
records, which was not my usual taste.  We had a
large record collection but my family mainly played
operas which I didn't care for, so I thought that
I didn't like classical music.  But I grabbed a
couple of records, pretty much at random, and put
them on.  The first was Beethoven's sonata titled
Appasionata.  The second was the Schumann concerto.
And I had forgotten about the score, but suddenly
it clicked in my mind and I dug it out and realized
that it really was the same piece.

So I sat there listening and puzzling through the
music and that's when I really began to read music.
And I ran out almost instantly and bought the score
for Appassionata as well and puzzeled through that.

And eventually I could play anything ever written
at sight at the keyboard, but that was many years
of hard work later.  But Appasionata hardly took
any work at all and I still consider it a trivial
easy piece even though other people think of it
as one of maximum difficulty.  Even before I ever
owned a piano or learned to play properly, I used
to rattle it off on the NY org's piano in the
academy late at night.

I had more trouble with the Schumann, and actually
only the concerto and a few other early works, written
when he was feeling very good ever appealed to me
in those days, all the other Schumann pieces literally
made me sick - I mean true somatics, upset stomachs
and so forth, so I thought that he was mostly a
lousy composer.  Obviously the whole mess was blocked
by somatics from that lifetime.

So that Appasionata was the one that kicked into
my life at random, first classical record I ever
put on myself, and that I was impossibly able to play
without lessons even though it was one of these
competition level super works, and it was the piece
that taught me to really read music.

I just found out that it was Clara Schumann's signature
piece.  The one she built her reputation on just
before she and Robert threw everything in their
lives away for the sake of love and ran away together.
That was the storybook romance three lifetimes back
that I mentioned in the other post.

And I was busy crusading yet again in that lifetime,
just like I often do, but the target was music,
trying to shift everyone from this pedantic adherence
to rules (where the rare romantic work by Bach or
Mozart was considered one of their failings instead
of their greatest achievements) over to a real
feeling of music.  And of course I thought that I'd
failed, but in retrospect it worked, people make
music first and worry about the rules second nowardays.
However cultural lag and self invalidation made it
seem like I had done nothing at the time.

And then there is the classic suicide at the end.
It was the first whole track incident I ever ran, right
at the beginning of getting 1966 style dianetics.  I
didn't even suspect the name or know anything about
the Schumann suicide (or even know that he had
suicided because they fished the body out of the
river and it sort of lived on for a few years run
by entities - so its only an attempted suicide in
the history books).  However the time, place, form,
and event matches what's in the books.

Later I was playing through Beethoven number 31
and suddenly was paralyzed and on my knees with
a shattering somatic in my hand and flashed onto
an incident of breaking my finger while playing
back in the eighteen hundreds.  There seemed to
be a sort of cord attached to my pinkie and it
had snapped backwards.  Apparantly I was practicing
with weights in the old incident.

And while getting a screwed up search and discovery
in early 1968, looking for some old whole track
SP, the name Mannerheim came up and seemed to be
from the 1800s and was the item, and I'd never
heard the name before, just sort of wanted to say
it.

A bit later I found out that all three of these
things were straight out of the Schumann lifetime,
the suicide, the finger breaking, and the connections
with the Mannerheim family.

I only have a sketchy little bio of Schumann, included
in a book mainly aimed at analyzing his music.  I
have made a point of avoiding reading a true detailed
bio for fear of prejudicing myself in running the
area.

The book blames the suicide on his sadness at the
deaths of his friends Chopin and Mendelsohn (Schumann
squelched the rivalries and pulled all the romantic
composers together - the exact same sort of thing
that I try to do on ACT) and at his feelings of
failure.

I don't think so.  Something went wrong between him
and Clara, otherwise he would have never left her.
Too many feelings of overts with her being forced
to go out and support them by playing the piano.
I don't know if she was sleeping with List or
Brahms on her tours, and I wouldn't have cared if
she was, not a jelious bone in my body.  But she
wasn't sleeping with me anymore so I went out and
jumped in the damn river.  Typical.  I've got that
kind of stuff up and down the track.

---------

11. Suicides

As soon as I knew to look for suicides, I found them
all over the place.  I already knew almost every
lifetime I lived in the last thousand years, but
for most of them, I'd never spotted the death.

As soon as the suppress came off on suicide, there
they were, one after another, shooting myself,
walking off of a parapet, cuttin my own throat,
on and on.

Even the rare female lifetimes.  I remember whoreing
around in Spain.  Great lifetime.  I was a dancer.
Lots of sex and admiration.  Occasionally I took
money for it but on my own terms, so it was always
fun.  The Spanish Inquisition scared everybody off
of me.  Before I cut my throat I slashed open a
vein and wrote "your god is the devil" on the wall.

And I found out about these double life overlays
that I often have.  It happens when you commit
suicide and they bring you back and you've already
grabbed another body.

Last lifetime, 1949, I was in the hospital, too
long without sex, went into the spin, wandered
around late one night and found a scaple.  Slit
my own wrists and grabbed the Ken Ogger body around
birth.  And they found me before I was fully gone
and patched me up and that old body dragged me
back like a boat anchor.  It wouldn't die until
I was 4 in this lifetime.  I kept bouncing between
the two bodies and never quite remembering but
thinking that I was dreaming about each one from
the other one.

Same thing happened with the Schumann to Bill
Lewis transition.  They fished the body out of
the Rhine and I was partially dragged back.
But I'd picked up an older body in the hospital
(the original owner had left when it got sick)
so it was easier to mostly leave the Schumann
body in the hands of entities because the other
one was already in its teens.

---------

12. I did some spotting of things that I like.

Usually it runs easily, but this time there wasn't
too much.  Too many heavy ARC breaks with this
universe in restimulation.

I remember somebody suggesting to Homer on the
newsgroup that he go out and feed the ducks to
cheer himself up.  He responded with a rant about
not wanting to feed the damn ducks.  I sympathized.

But there is always something which you have high
enough ARC for that it stays in even when the
protests against this universe are at maximum.
For me these are things like a nice piece of
music, a beautiful girl, or a high quality engineering
construction.  But its always things where people
are mocking up asthetics (even the girl is working
to put an asthetic there).  I don't care for the
natural state of this universe.  Its ok if I'm
feeling love for everybody, but if I'm in a bad
mood, I just don't like the damn place.

So I wondered what sort of place I would like.
Of course I like sci fi, but that's high tech
with people putting asthetics in (at least sometimes).

So I wondered what would I like in its natural state?
And I got Magic universe.  Its hard to say what that
is.  Something like the Oz movie is somebody's
impression of such a place.  I certainly get visions
sometimes in reading a fantasy story.  Its hard
to say if I've ever seen anything that's exactly
right.  But its similar, almost like earth but
with a twist.  The mest there has an asthetic to
it. The mest here is dead.  Here the dirt is dirty,
there it has a healing warmth, and yet it is almost
the same.

I thought of a brook and there is a spot where the
brook runs uphill for a little ways.  That doesn't
happen here, the physics are different.  Here the
brook searches for the path of least resistance.
There it searches for the optimum path and might
go up a little to find a better downward plunge.
I suppose there is a cohesion to the brook mockup
there that lets it do that whereas here the individual
molecules must each find their own level and will
not climb temorarily to gain advantage.

---------

13. Another thing we've got wrong in the tech is the
sympathy button.  Because of fear of sticking people
in things, I ended up building an artificial
no-sympathy attitude on top of my own naturally
sympathetic (perhaps over sympathetic) nature.

This is a mistake.

The sympathy flow, as we know it, is a low scale ARC
flow.  It is a positive, not a negative and there
are higher scaled versions of it, it is simply so
scare that people get sticky on it.

Heavy no-sympathy flows make the person get worse in
ever more frantic attempts to get sympathy.

I think that there is some kind of a scale here.
This sympathy might be better described as some kind
of low scale love flow and that is so scarce that
people get hurt just to get sympathy.

There's more to learn here.

---------

14. Valences

It would be better here to say frames of reference or
packages of attitudes.  These might have operated as
real valences before and then the divisions between
them softened due to processing, going clear, blowing
entities, etc.

All of these are me and I can find a point slightly
before earth when I had these various attitudes as
a cohesive whole without conflict, easily shifting
around and looking at things from various angles
without difficulty.  I have been gradually returning
to that state as I keep running things out.

I think that it is just the horrible earth track
which has forced these viewpoints apart, but it is
also possible that there is some dividing against
oneself that occurs in being sentenced here.

It now seems to me that the "from where" type processes
would be much better run with the "where" being a
valence or package of attitudes or frame of referencve
rather than a location.  In other words, "from what
viewpoint would you create ..." would be an extremely
powerful process.  For example, I might want to create
a headache from the viewpoint of a hard taskmaster
(wanting somebody to do something - eg. hitting them
over the head to get them to work) and be doing that
unconsciously to myself while being on the opposite side
and feeling the effect of the somatic and therefore
have a headache that I was creating from an old
viewpoint that was out of control.

This also raises the general point of one's old
viewpoints left running out of control.  A slightly
different slant on fragmentation.

Getting back to the sexual viewpoints which I was
running, there are two which are acceptible to me
and are gradually coming into alignment.

One is a highly romantic viewpoint.  This is really
asthetics co-mingled with high ARC and has stuff that
runs very well on games concepts and so forth but has
been terribly bashed about by earth type civilization.
This has ideas in it like love and soul mates and
people who find each other across multiple lifetimes.
It is nice and as I mentioned it is highly asthetic,
but it always seems to come in conflict with practicalites
and the conventions of earthly civilization.  It is
possible that I am creating my own opposition in this
area and it always seems to require breaking socity's
rules or agreements or whatever.  It might simply
stem from having gotten suckered into asthetic stories
on the early track.  From this viewpoint I am heavily
at war with society because the current mechanics
impose barriers and also separate you (by death or
whatever) the rare times you connect to such a person.

The other is a loose free love attitude that allows
for multiple partners and simply considers love to
be a manifestation of high ARC.  This one requires
an absence of jeliousy because all share and none
are exclusive.  Of course this one also comes into
conflict with society because of contrary social
conventions and the fact that most people are into
jeliousy and posession.

The resolving point from which these both work together
is a civilization I was in slightly before getting
hit by Marcab and so forth.  I've talked elsewhere
about a very high civilization that was smashed by
Marcab.  I have trouble with the name.  Sometimes I
get it as Elsinore.

This was a place that was intentionally designing to
try and make a "clear" group and get people out of
the trap by means of social conventions which served
to minimize the late track abberations and encourage
very high scale behaviour.  This applied to more than
the 2D, but I'll talk about the 2D aspect here since
that's what I've run recently.

The conventions did include loose and free sex as an
expression of ARC.  They also included the idea of
nearer and further bonds so that one might have a
great love and yet also have light contacts without
the jeliousy and false concepts of owning another
being.

There were group marriages with the idea that there
were many roles to play and some people were better
at one than another.  One female might be better at
child rearing and another might be a super sex item
that pulled the entire group together.  One of the
males might be a strong macho type who handled the
dangers while another might be a bright intellectual
who specialize in planning.

To some degree this sidestepped the actual GPMs by
providing people who worked together to cover each
other's weaknesses.

There is a third "valence" steming from that time
and it is one that is extremely careful of comitting
overts related to sex.  In this old civilization it
primarily consisted of never letting anybody feel
invalidated, decived, or misused in the 2D area.
This strikes me as sane and reasonable but in the
earth context it makes it impossible for me to
present any false impressions or do any button
pushing in the 2D area.

This civilization looked on the Marcabian idea of
exclusive relationships as being a trick to
misuse you ultra high ARC for one special partner
as a means to get you to ARC break all your other
terminals.

I wrote the above before getting to the final
cognitions I described in "current status".  This
is, of course, the civilization I was talking about
at the end of the other post.

---------

15. Actual GPM items

In one of these R3M style actual GPMs, the items are
your own choice.  Only the idea of making items to
try and achieve the goal plus a suggested series of
goals is "implanted", not the items.

A goal like "to be intelligent" has no bias as to
good or evil.  Although nicer items will tend to be
up towards the beginning and nastier ones towards the
end, there is a great deal of personal choice involved.

Use of something like heavy love flows can influence
the person towards a better choice of items.

---------

16. Ralph made a good suggestion about entities in the
area. Of course I blow those fairly easily, but I looked
it over and realized I was putting fragments of myself
into 2D terminals and that there was a huge mutual
exchange of fragments involved in sex.

Pieces of others which were objectionable had pretty
much been blown off as BTs long since.  But I hadn't
spotted that I was unconsiously and compulsively
jambing fragments into every pretty female body
that walked by.

And I also realized that there were lots of other's
pieces (sort of BTs) which were on me which I didn't
blow off because they were not objectionable.  These
would be better called Spiritual Teammates a la Alan.

I do not really see these as independent beings.
They do seem more like pieces of others warmly placed.

This raises the thought of another whole area of
technology (I do not know ACW's ST tech) because
some of the fragments that I have been placing due
to ARC (rather than must haves or compulsions) do
occasionally hit the other terminal with my abberations
instead of the ARC intended.  And that is true of
ones placed on me as well.

Consider for example an over protective mother who
is putting stops in the way of her children due to
her own fears for their safety.  You don't want to
cut such a connection but you do want to remove the
stops.

This is a vast area and I'm going to have to look into
it further when I'm not so distracted.

It also points out to me that I blew off too much
during the solo nots overrun.  I don't think that
I blew things which shouldn't have been blown
during the relatively shorter run to EP, because
I was not trying to solve anything but simply handling
whatever seemed like it needed handling.

But during the overrun, where I was trying to solve
things and find underlying sources and blow anything
I could get my hands on, I certainly blew quite a
few things that should have been cleaned up and
aligned rather than disconnected.

---------

17. At one point I found a control line running back
to what might be described as one of Capt Bill's
plugs or monitors.  I think of these as control
entities and I see it a little different, but I
think were looking at the same area.

This one was large and active and off in some strange
management place (like a between lives astral area
reaching down to earth) and seemed to be arranging
things in my life to see to it that the 2D was
screwed up.

It seemed like I was handling something that needed
to be cleaned up and negotiated with rather than
blown off, because if it was blown something else
would simply replace it and pick up some hat that
needed to be worn.

I've hit things like this on rare occasions before
and they can be cleaned up and sort of made into
allies by running some processes on them and showing
them some things.

But this time I hit on a marvelous technique which
handles these like dynamite and really turns the
situation around.

You tell them to "Spot the part of yourself which
is living on earth and being controlled."

Really knocks them on their ass and brings about
an instant shift in loyalties.  They never realized
that it was happening to them too.

And boy that character had been black, L. Kin would
probably have called him xemu (silly A=A) because
he had that flow, and then I was suddenly dealing
with what seemed like a friend and supporter who
had just woken up to what was really going on.

I am now getting the idea that there might be a
sort of control area where each of us has a major
fragment almost comparable to the one in which
we're living here on earth and by which we arrange
life for each other.  Another wild idea to follow
up on.

---------

18. In abandoning the old actual GPM and shifting
over to the current one, as I described in current
status, I went through massive changes of viewpoint.
Now that the heavy suppress is off of it, I can
see the continuity between my old ideas and the
new ones.

But lets say that had been in the middle of that
big spin and also been sold on the idea that all
my remaning case came from external factors such
as entities.  And my old ideas leaking through
that heavy barrier I had put up were so foriegn
to my current viewpoint that I could easily be
convinced that they were of external origin.

I think that such a mistake would have spun me
in totally.  I would have abandoned what little
responsibility I still had in the area and begun
fighting external forces and probably gotten crazy
ideas like trying to keep my ethics in as these
externally created abberations tried to control
me.

In fact it sounds an awful lot like Ron coming
back from the OT 3 research in Tangier.  And he
had been working R3M GPMs in 1963 and never really
made it and slid over into the patterns of 1964
instead, which are a completely different animal.

So maybe the previous actual GPM was heavily
restimulated and sort of leaking through a
heavy suppress that he'd built on it.  And he
did know about entities from 1952 (it is a real
phenomena, just not as important as the org
implies).  So maybe he did make the mistake
and go into a heavy spin that gives us the
sea org and quickies and various other problems.

I will say for sure that the amount of kick on
one of these R3M style actual GPMs makes the
clearing course platen feel like a walk in the
park.  And I say that after having gotten lots
of gains and lots of TA action on CC.  It is
good to run but it is not in this league.

---------

19. We run incidents and experience time because
without that we would have to face everything at
once and it would be too much.

---------

20. A nifty process

a) What lessons should others have learned
b) What lesson can you forgive another not learning

---------

21. Reverse Agreements.

The agreements that persist are reverse agreements.

A reverse agreement is one that you made for the wrong
reasons and are holding onto and it persists because it
contains a lie.  One reason for making a reverse agreement
is because it justifies something, for example you agree
that a certain class of people are stupid because it
makes less of some overts you've comitted on them.

You might also hold a reverse agreement in place to
keep from loosing something.  Many reasons are possible.

Basic Basic is a reverse agreement you needed.  This is
just a guess with no proof, but it feels right.

---------

22. R2-12 type GPM.

There may be yet another animal in this endless mess of
different kinds of things that were lumped together under
the heading of GPMs.

For the first time I found something that really looked
like one of those black ball item pairs that Ron talks
about in the R2-12 days just before R3M comes out.

I spotted the pair of items as:

Someone who encourages having sex vs
Those who oppose having sex

And I noticed that they acted in this funny way to
snap things into one side or the other on the subject
of sex.

Maybe somebody might have two things to say about sex,
one being that there were too many hookers on Sunset
blvd and the other being that they loved orgies.  Depending
on which one they said first, they would either snap into
the terminal side or the opterm side, and remain there
from there on, completely catalogued with no judgement
on my part whatsoever - a total A=A two valued logic
that is obviously very stupid.

That damn thing has been running on automatic all my
life (until I spotted it), and it only classifies people
in regards to 2D and doesn't actually spill over into
other areas.  In other words, I associate somebody as
a 2D opterm but do not treat them as an enemy in any
other area, which is really funny too (and hopefully
is gone now).

I listed for what goal did these items belong to,
expecting to find some sexual goal and instead found
the goal "To Be Admired" which of course had been
coming up elsewhere in trying to process sex.

The implications are that this is some fragment of
an extremely early super powerful implant, because
I would expect that later track ones would simply
have used sex.  In fact, this might be a fragment
of the one that bends admiration into sex in the
first place.

I haven't been able to get any more of this one so
far. I'll have to take another look at it later.

---------

23. PTS

I also looked at the idea of being PTS in the area
and came up with a new definition which gets all
the wrong data about enemies and stuff out of it.

PTS is having unwanted anchorpoints or masses jambed
into your space.  They might even be being put there
out of misguided good intentions.  It is the fact
of the impingement rather than the intention behind
it (lets stop looking for covert enemies under every
rock).

This unwanted impingement knocks you down scale.

If you try to process over it, you will rollercoaster
because the impingement continues and puts things
back into restimulation after they are keyed out.

You can still make progress by errasure.  Something
does errase with each cognition and that gain is
never lost.  But the things keyed out come back in
fairly quickly.  And the larger percentage of our
fast gains are mostly keyout effects.

If possible you handle the impingement.  This does
not mean that you spot an enemy and disconnect.
It might mean that you try and handle something in
life, maybe making a deal to get a heavily impinging
thing off of your lines.

Or you run some charge off of the impingment so that
it impacts less.

Or, if there is no other choice, you roll up your
sleaves and process anyway, just being aware that
the errasures are cumulative even though the keyouts
are very transient and you keep spinning back in.

---------

24. Grade zero

I thought I was pretty damn free in the area of
communications.  All the training and TRs and so
forth and then both old style zero and later
both auditing and receiving a complete expanded
grade zero.

I can talk about anything.

I can talk to anybody.

I don't have preconcieved notions about which topics
are acceptible to which kinds of people.

Instead I look.

And there is the rub.  I am loaded to the gills with
considerations about what effect I am creating and
what is acceptible to whom under what conditions.

I traded a fixed pattern of assumptions for a far
better interactive framework.

And that was the correct EP for me at the time.
But it is orders of magnitude short of true freedom
in communications.

I've said over and over that the grades can be
run again at a deeper level after you have processed
tons of other stuff.

This one still caught me by surprise.  I guess I've
found the next layer of grade 0 on my case and its
finally ready to be run.

25. Lesson Learned

I am going to take more risks and get a bit further out
into the open.

As I said in the other post, I let my real world anchor
points and comm lines slip too much.  Having terminals
and space and ARC has a stabilizing effect on one's
case and without that you bounce around too easily if
any case charge starts kicking around.

Although I only check it occasionally and I prefer to
keep technical discussions out in the open in the
newsgroup, I can be emailed as truthseeker7@excite.com.
And I am in the North Hollywood phone book (and my
voicemail is finally secure and accessible by me only)
especially if there are some old ex-New Yorkers or
cute girls in the area.

I'm burrying contact information here rather than
publishing in big bold letters in a short post
because I don't want to make it too easy for somebody
who has only glanced at my stuff and simply wants
to complain at me.  But people who have been reading
big technical posts like this one are certainly
welcome contacts.

And OSA, of course, has had full contact information
ever since Ann gave them my name so I'm not worried
about them reading this.  In truth I think that I'm
doing them more good than harm what with my deep
belief in the tech so I'm not too worried as long
as they are thinking things through instead of just
lashing out reactively.

=============

I suppose that I probably scared the hell out of
everybody and maybe created a few ARC breaks into
the bargin.  This was a rough month and every damn
crazy aspect of my case was boiling to the surface
all at once.

But its better for this stuff to be known rather
than hidden.

Best,

The Pilot

==========================================

All these messages were posted with the following
trailer -

------------------
The free Self Clearing Book, The Super Scio book, and the
"SCIENTOLOGY REFORMER'S HOME PAGE" are all over the net.

See The Self Clearing Homepage for URLs to these sites
http://fza.org/pilot/selfclr.htm

Or see The Pilots Home Page at http://fza.org/pilot/index.htm

Some translations are available, see links at fza.org

Also see the new www.fzint.org website.

All of the current posts will be collected in Super Scio Archive
#69 and posted to ACT.  See the Pilot Archives at FZA.ORG.

Note that some of my posts only go to ACT.  I don't actually
use the pilot@scientology.at email address.  That is just
window dressing.  I prefer to keep techical discussions out
in the open.  I watch ARS and ACT for messages with Pilot in
the subject line.

------------------
