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Stardate: 20200915.2204
Location: Game Room / COVID-19 Office
Input Device: fuchikoma (RPi4)
Audio: Covenant - Dreams of a Cryotank
Visual: Daimos wallpaper
Emotional State: Bleh.
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"What usually has the strongest psychic effect on the child is the
life which the parents...have not lived." - Carl Jung
I saw this quote in the book, "Finding Meaning In The Second Half of
Life," by James Hollis, PhD. It is at the top of chapter 6, "The
Family During the Second Half of Life." I found this quote to be
interesting. It had me thinking about my family of origin and my
current immediate family, extended family, in-laws and out-laws.
There were some other quotes that has me ruminating:
"How often we see the burden placed on the child to emulate the
parent's values, achieve some goal, be it attending the right school,
marrying the right person, finding the right career. If the child
does otherwise, he or she frequently feels contaminated by failure or
guilt, and if the child complies with the parent's stated or implicit
choices, then he or she has been diverted into living someone else's
life."
The dilema:
"Please my parents and die within, or live my separate journey and
lose their love."
"...how many parents do you know who are strong enough to free their
child, to love unconditionally, to give ready permission to the child
to be who he or she is? How many children have the genuine security
to pursue the life they desire to lead, and know they will be
supported, even if the parent might prefer other choices...What
remains unconscious in the parent, however well intended the parent
is, is what will be transmitted to the child and remain a continuing
obstacle to a fuller life."
I find it interesting looking at what traits have been passed on from
each family system and each generation. From my current vantage
point, I have been looking more into the traits of my grandparents,
my parents, my sibling, and my children from my current immediate
blood line. I see some patterns that have been passed along as well
as some patterns that have transformed or have halted entirely.
When I add my wife's side of the family into the mix, it makes for
even more interesting questions and ruminations...how these family
members were as children and as parents or adults. How things get
passed along and inherited. How these things can become a burden and
even define a life. How the cycle continues on downstream.
I think I'll have to put a pause on this one. It's getting to me.
"My heart can't contain the missing fragments of memories."
-Skinny Puppy
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