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       iThe Second Punic War
       iFebruary 19th, 2018
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       i
       iI want a war epic made about the Second Punic War. It doesn't have
       ito be about the entire war, I suppose, but it must capture Cannae,
       ithe rise of Scipio Africanus, and ultimately the salting of
       iCarthage.
       i
       iBack in the day there were rumors of Vin Diesel making a Hannibal
       imovie. I'd settle for that at this point. We have movies about all
       isorts of random crap!
       i
       iI let myself toy around with the idea of writing the script for
       iabout 2 whole minutes. That was nice, then I remembered I'm not
       ia scriptwriter nor have I ever shown any talent or interest in
       ithat direction. Nope, I'll settle for someone elses art, thank
       iyou.
       i
       iYou know how the universe sometimes seems to latch on to ideas
       iyou've had or talked about and suddenly it's all the rage and you
       igot no credit for it, damnit? Maybe this can be one of those
       iscenarios. Let's have a whole string of Roman films get made. We
       ihaven't had a Caesar movie in a while. How about Augustus? He's
       ipretty wild. Or Nero... come on! Someone make a Nero movie. I'm
       isure there's enough British pride that we could sell a Cymbaline
       ifilm, even. See that... I'll take fringe Romans.
       i
       iI would very much like something exciting to look forward to. 
       i
       iWell, crap. That sounds suuuuuper depressing. I didn't mean it
       ithat way, but then I read it and was like... Ugh.
       i
       iI've got exciting things to look forward to. At the very least,
       ithere's a 40lb lump in the next room who represents about
       ia bajillion of those things. But still... I would love to put
       ia shining star on top of this excitement tree. Toss a little
       itinsel around and stare up at the glory of a god-damned,
       imonther-fucking, Ridley Scott directed, Hans Zimmer scored,
       iaction-packed adventure starring Vin Diesel and for some reason
       iMichael Ironside in a romp across history in the testosterone
       idump, "AFRICANUS". (In theaters May 2020)
       i