i----------------------------------------
       iTime travel
       iNovember 30th, 2017
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       i
       iThis phlog entry is partially a response to cat [0] and partially
       ia fairly complex and possibly unpopular opinion on time travel.
       i
       iI hate the idea of time travel and I pray very hard that it isn't
       ipossible. I don't mind games or movies about it, but there is
       inothing quite as horrifying to me in reality. When I say that
       iI pray about it, I mean that quite literally. It has been the
       isubject of my prayers on multiple occasions, and has dominated at
       ileast one silent retreat. 
       i
       iTo understand my reasoning I need to explain a bit about how
       iI perceive time and the moments that constitute it: 
       i
       i  In sixth grade I was in a new school in a brand new English
       i  class. English was not a good subject for me, and I was pretty
       i  intimidated. My teacher, Mr. Tucker, put a picture up in the
       i  front of the classroom. It was a fish wearing headphones. He
       i  told the class, "There's a famous saying, 'A picture is worth
       i  a thousand words.' I want you to write a few hundred. For the
       i  next ten minutes write about what this fish is listening to and
       i  why." At that time in my life I really had no clue about music.
       i  I didn't follow any bands. I pretty much listened to whatever my
       i  older sister was playing. I thought really hard and came up with
       i  Poison by Bel Biv DeVoe. There's a section of that song that
       i  I knew some words to, so I started there. The other problem
       i  I was facing was that I was a horribly slow hand-writer.
       i
       i  The minutes flew by and I hadn't even finished writing the
       i  lyrics to the song when the teacher said stop. I hadn't gotten
       i  to the fish! I had a random section of Poison written out by
       i  hand and that was it. The teacher decided to read a few out-loud
       i  to the class. He picked my paper up first and started to read.
       i  I was mortified as he recited, "Girl it's driving me out of my
       i  mind. That's why it's hard for me to find..." The words ended
       i  and it made no sense at all.
       i
       iThat moment was horrifying to me, and I know the rest of the class
       iforgot it within minutes. It still haunts my memories almost
       ithirty years later.
       i
       iHere's the thing, though. That moment is fixed in time. Nothing
       ican happen in the world that will ever change that having
       ihappened. No nuclear bomb can go off, no zealot can preach, no
       iasteroid can strike which will change the fact that at that point
       iin time I was being humiliated in front of a classroom of
       istrangers.
       i
       iNow, think about the magical moments. There was a girl I dated in
       ihigh school who I loved with the passionate love that can only be
       ifelt by overwhelming hormones and youthful rage. I remember our
       ifirst time together. I remember the claw marks. That moment can
       inever, ever be taken away.
       i
       iShe's a horrifying shit-show of a person now. I'm honestly amazed
       ishe's still alive, and I wouldn't want to be within a mile of her
       ithese days. It's irrelevant, though because I love her with all my
       iheart and all my soul... in that moment.
       i
       iI think of the people who have died and gone. My grandma, close
       ifriends, so so many lives. They're all still living in that moment
       iin time and our lives touch. It is a fixed element that I can
       ialways go back to. I don't need to let today into those moments.
       iMy friend who took his own life is still with me at summer camp,
       isneaking into the pool to glue the "buddy tags" to the board. The
       igirl I was going to ask out in my high school homeroom didn't die
       ion the way to school when some asshole flipped his car. She is
       istill sitting next to me smiling in that moment.
       i
       iI fucking hate time travel because it is the only concept that
       icould take those moments from me. The bad ones and the good ones
       iare mine. They are my treasures and the only safe thing in
       iexistence. I pray it never comes to pass.
       i
       
 (TXT) [0] cat - Something about basketball, IDK