2025-10-26
       
 (TXT) Encheiridion 26
       
          Certainly, then, when your own cup is broken you should be just
          the way you were when the other person's was broken.
       
       Honestly, I have some trouble with this one.  First, because I am
       not confident that nature has a will from which we can learn.
       I do not know how I would go about resolving this issue as well,
       so my own position is to remain agnostic towards it.
       
       The second issue, though is whether or not it really is proper to
       treat the loss of one's spouse or child with the same detachment
       that we would naturally have towards the spouse or child of
       another.  We do not grieve for the loss of a loved one because we
       are under the delusion that they are exempt from mortality, but
       because we value them, are invested in their well being, and
       treasure their presence in our life.  We naturally want to be
       with them and to have them with us.
       
       However, does this really preclude us from following Epictetus'
       advice?  Could we not treasure our loved ones and seek their well
       being while also accepting their mortality.  To treasure, but not
       cling.  There is an example that comes to mind, so I will quote
       it, as I think it clear enough to not need further commentary:
       
          Then [David's] servants said to him, "What is this thing that
          you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while it was
          alive, but when the child died, you rose and ate food." He
          said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for
          I said, 'Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me, and the
          child may live.' But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I
          bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return
          to me."
          ~ 2 Samuel 12:21-23
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