I have closed myself off in a room in a different city for 5 days to work on
a project. As a married man with a child this is such a rare moment of being by
myself for a week that I feel somewhat disoriented. It also shows me what life
alone could look like for me, if I ever wonder about it as I sometimes did
during worse moments of my marriage. I am, what could be called, an introvert (
although I am not sure if I believe in such simple labels anymore) so the space
and solitude do not bother me per se, but they show me a lot about my flaws.
I miss my son and his beautiful smile and way of being. I was never much of a 
person who misses people since I was forced by life to often not see close ones
for months at a time and just got used to it, but my sons is like a new part of
my life that I never knew before and so I do miss the lovely guy and would wish
to hug him close and spend time with him. 

Anyway. 

When I am in this state of solitude it is easy to get lost because I am outside
of my daily routine. It is important to create some sort of schedule for the day
not to be overwhelmed by the vastness of thins I could be working on. Being now
a second day in I see that I not in a disciplined state of mind and am going 
amiss. Just needed to stop and think and write something to take a break. I have
done a lot during this time but not in the manner in which I wish to do it. Too
absent-minded and loose and chaotic. 

The genious in a tower working on an experimental prototype whilst everyone is 
asleep? No. Just a guy who's weak and tries something whilst making mistake upon
mistake as I stumble towards something.

Take care, whoever you may be.