= Self-Reliance_Day_2 =

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Day 2

"The virtue in most request is conformity." -Emerson
	
"People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for 
life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think 
that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so 
that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will 
have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so 
that we actually feel the rapture of being alive." -Joseph 
Campbell
		
Where do you find the most meaning in life and feel the most 
fully alive? Is there something you'd love to do but don't 
because the world thinks it's silly or worthless or wrong? Is 
there anything you do that you consider virtuous yet the 
world looks down on? How do you handle the tension?
	
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Several questions here.  I find meaning in my life in the 
care and protection of my family.  I find meaning in my life 
in my chosen vocation.  I find meaning in my life in helping 
others.  I find maning in my life in my communication with 
God.  There are so many things that can give my life meaning.  
What is important is what I choose to make meaningful in my 
life meaningful within myself.  A quote that I like that I'm 
not sure where it came from goes something like, "that which 
we hold sacred gives our life meaning."  This topic reminds 
me of that (mis)quote.  

I don't think this can honestly be defined by someone else.  
I think that people has to find and define their purpose.  I 
did not always have or thought I had a purpose.  Actually, I 
used to think I was a piece of shit, especially from what 
other people have said or how they have treated me.  That was 
some time ago and I have found that I have to look within for 
my purpose and not from without.  Even when I came to that 
realization, I was...lost.  I was not accustomed to thinking 
that way.  It did feel more appropriate in finding purpose, 
but it just felt so ambiguous and inflexible, like anything I 
had decided was set in stone.  Well, I had to work through 
that as well...mostly just by doing, falling off of my horse 
and getting back on.  What was important was that I tried 
something, that I put action to it.  I can really get lost in 
the world of theory in my head, but I won't truly know until 
I do.

So I continued down that path of following my own inner 
compass, being true to myself, and being open to any kind of 
direction or hints from daily life, coincidence, 
happenstance, God, and the universe.  So far, the path seems 
true...and when it is not, I'm pretty good at seeing the 
clues that are presented to me by God and the universe.

Well, that's 20 minutes.  There are more questions so I think 
I will continue with them.

As for feeling the most alive?  I would say when there is a 
drastic change in my emotional state.  Yeah, that's not 
really a conventional answer, but then again, I'm not a 
conventional person and will stay true to that.

The drastic change would be from going from normal, everday 
life emotion to extreme highs or extreme lows.  For example, 
when 9/11 happened, I went from going to my every day job, 
walking to work, not really noticing much to OMFGWTF just 
happened?!?!  My emotions spiked, my senses heightened, and I 
remember so much detail like it happened yesterday.  Even 
though it was such a tragic event, it brought people together 
and I felt alive.

Another example, on a much lighter note, would be having new 
experiences.  Travelling, especially to a place I've never 
been or even to a different country, seems to be a good way 
to make this happen.  Experiencing things that are not part 
of the every day routine.  Travelling seems to allow for 
that.  When I am traveling...especially for leisure, the 
presense of mind seems to be there for me to take everything 
in.  The emotions go from dullsville to curiosity and 
excitement.  Not so much when I am travelling for work.

As cliche as it sounds, being close to death has made me feel 
most fully alive...and this has happened a few times.  
Usually when this happens, the universe is letting me know 
that I am way off the path, so I am quick to comply and get 
back on track right away.

Something vituous that the world looks down on...well, in 
some circles, doing the right thing, especially if the 
consensus disagrees.  It seems like some people are more 
concerned with sticking out or what other people will think 
of them or their own agendas, rather than doing the right 
thing.  Well, maybe the sticking out part is one of those 
hard wired, instinctive survival things..  I find it strange 
that some people use the term "do-gooder" or "pollyanna" for 
people who do good things or think positive, even though 
there are no signs of naivety or extremism.  It probably 
stems from some internal insecurities that those people are 
projecting on others.  I guess it's all part of the human 
condition.  So be a good do-er and do the right thing!

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