[ 2026.08.27 ] [ on "Teenage Sex & Death at Camp Miasma" ] ----====---===--==-==--===---====-- (y) --====---===--==-==--===---====---- what exactly am i parsing here? do i have anything to say, or do i just have FEELINGS to an extent that causes me to believe i must say SOMEthing? "Teenage Sex & Death at Camp Miasma" (hereafter referred to simply as "Camp Miasma") is a bizarre and fantastic movie. "fantastic" both as complimentary, i.e. excellent, but also as fantastique. it is traverses the span of what is real: it is real, surreal, unreal, and hyperreal. for me, it was confusing; or rather, it confused me. the story itself is straightforward enough and will not be recounted here. as with their previous film, "I Saw the TV Glow", Jane Schoenbrun seemingly has a knack for getting into both my brain and my guts, stirring up notions and feelings that i have either never explored or never considered exploring. that's great. but it is, as noted, confusing, because it's something of a mindtrip to watch Gillian Anderson vomit blood on Hannah Einbinder and find yourself openly weeping in a movie theatre. not out of terror or disgust, but out of self- realization, or because you feel more seen (and more exposed?) by a piece of media than you ever have before. how can that possibly make sense? if you have felt any curiousity about the movie "Teenage Sex & Death at Camp Miasma", i believe you should watch it. it's a bizarre movie, and that alone makes it worth the price of admission. i love weird art, even if i don't like it. i love that some weirdo took a swing. but i am not trying to "make it make sense," per se. what is REAL in this movie is, at face value, up for debate. what does the movie want you to believe is REALLY happening? what is allegory or metaphor? etc. fine. the internet at large will hash and rehash this endlessly, no doubt. i am only concerned with trying to understand what this movie did to me. the HOW what this movie did to me is simple: effective and skilled film-making. strong imagery, camera shifts between perspectives, and intense closeups of fried chicken in dipping sauce ("flesh and fluids") are some of the techniques employed in "Camp Miasma" that serve the movie's blood and lust vibes. ok, so the how is easy to see. just apply some academic film-nerd rigor et voila. WHAT this movie did to me remains something of a mystery. it has lived in my head almost constantly for 48 hours straight (so far). it feels out of place to refer to "Camp Miasma" as nuanced, but something is happening beneath the surface of both the movie and of myself -- and the way those somethings interact is, to beat a dead horse, CONFUSING. my mother has always said she prefers movies with happy endings, by which she means the boy and the girl live happily ever after because my mother watches Hallmark movies, classic romantic comedies, and musicals. but even the best of those genres do not stick around. the resolution in those cases resolves so completely: what is left to think about? what can that make you feel besides dismissive disgust or warm and fuzzy? from here on, words fail me somewhat. thematically, there are things happening in "Camp Miasma" that feel intensely personal not only generally, but to me specifically. surely the themes of desire (or double-underlined "DESIRE", no other notes), of shame and confusion about sex, about internal emotional conflict about loving problematic art, and of orgasm are all personal in the sense that they are infrequently openly discussed by, dare i say?, most people. but i am also coupling that general cultural discomfort, "sex is icky", with my own ongoing self-discovery. i came out to my partner as transgender over two years ago. i started estrogen GAHT just about six months ago. arguably, "Camp Miasma" is less overtly ABOUT "the trans experience" than "TV Glow" was. but Jane Shoenbrun has noted in interviews that this movie (Miasma) is the most personal and in-depth that they've gotten on film about their transition. but i still see the movie as LESS obviously about anything trans, and i've heard positive reviews that seem to validate that take. and at first, in the first quarter or third of the movie, i did not feel the same emotional attachment to the movie that i did almost instantly in "I Saw the TV Glow". but as it became clear to me, in some cases in what Kris (Einbinder, our protagonist) says directly, that there is so much more happening behind the movies top layers... well as i said. openly weeping in public as Gillian Anderson vomits blood. so ... what then? WHAT did this movie do to me? i think, generally, it called out aspects of my own experience that i don't explore or spend any time thinking about. pardon the ensuing word salad, but i don't even know if i'm capable yet of forming these into coherent ideas. under the larger theme of desire, there are themes of shame and confusion about sex; about hating your own body; about never having felt acceptance or true partnership in a sexual relationship; in the nature of safety in a vulnerable situation, but also couple that with the notion of being both victim and violator. there is an explicit thread about dissociation during sex; implicit ties to kink, though the word itself is never used; the dissonance between expectation and perception, which in turn puts the nature of reality into question. consent is a huge piece of the relationship between our two heroines, as is acceptance. along with body-shame, Kris feels "bad at sex" while Billy (Anderson) says, "There is no bad at sex," and emphasizes that sex is play. in short, there is so much happening in this movie, and so much of it hit me all at once, that i am still sifting through it. it is definitely a movie i will see again, maybe even in the theater. but before i go, here's a quick word-salad from the mind-map i drew while trying to sort myself out enough to say something about this movie. bloodgasm, "flesh and fluids", nasty sexy fried chicken & dipping sauce, gummy candy (jesus christ, i don't even know where to start with the candy). if you have felt any curiousity about the movie "Teenage Sex & Death at Camp Miasma", you should watch it. it's a bizarre movie, and that alone makes it worth the price of admission. even if you don't like it, it'll hang with you. ----====---===--==-==--===---====-- (y) --====---===--==-==--===---====----