[               2026.08.25 ]
[ once more 'round the sun ]

August 25th is my birthday. 

today, i put my phone on DND for the day. i slept until 10:30am, then watched 
John Carpenter's "Cigarette Burns". i am, historically, not a huge Carpenter 
fan. that's not to say i don't love his work, because i do. i just came to it 
rather late, considering i am in the right age bracket to have seen much of it 
it as it happened. anyway, "Cigarette Burns" was part of a 2005 Showtime series 
called "Masters of Horror". so far, it has been the best episode by far. kind of 
a tidy little (60 minutes) masterpiece, honestly.

i also took myself to the theater to see "Teenage Sex & Death at Camp Miasma" in 
the afternoon. but my thoughts, and mind-map, on that are already verbose, so 
i'll make that it's own entry.

i'm trying on a name, at least online (for now): Olive. it's been a few days, 
still sits pretty well with me. why? well, you could page back through this phlog 
by over two years so an entry titled "the name game".
to learn that i have long been considering and/or struggling with the 
possibility of renaming myself. but why "Olive" specifically? i had yet another 
day of poking around names. my screen name is peachfiend, which... okay, brief 
sidebar (hoping i haven't told this story already).

in college, i had a love for a peach milkshake. i attended Penn State, and 
they have an on-campus creamery. IYKYK. (unfortunately, it seems this ice 
cream is still named Peachy Paterno. woe.) anyway, i really love peaches. and i 
have a fondness for the Presidents of the United States song "Peaches". and in 
my 19-year-old brain, "peachfiend" sounded cool and funny. and i made it my 
email handle.

later, a woman whose class i TA'd for asked me if it was innuendo. and it hadn't 
been, but it was thereafter. 

an olive is not a peach, but i'm not going by Peach. i am not, after all, a 
Nintendo character. and as it happens, in my dotage, i don't even prefer peaches 
to other drupes. for example, i prefer a plum to a peach. i prefer an apricot to 
a peach. i fuckin' LOVE a mango. but i didn't especially feel like being called 
Plum, or Mango, or Apricot. you get the idea. but Olive? i really like it as a 
name. it's a fruit with a storied history among humankind. and i also enjoy 
olives as a food, even shitty spongy "black" olives on pizza. so we're trying 
Olive. it's femme, but not overly so. and an olive, properly brined, can be 
pretty salty. so can i.

other news: i finished my data analysis certificate. i can code some pretty 
suitable python. if i ever become smart, that may be useful. 

i'm having the usual transgender blues lately as well. hate my body, hate 
thinking about gender but can't stop thinking about gender. and i haven't been 
sleeping. like, some nights i haven't slept at all. which is concerning.

bye,
Olive (peachfiend)