DUANE COSS
(Posted 2011-08-15 12:00:38 by ArchPaladin)

A man I knew from our church passed away last Sunday after two and a half
years of battling cancer.  He served as an elder in the church and by all
accounts was a man of deep integrity and faith.  He will be sadly missed.

The passing of a close friend or family member is always time for
reflection, and it tends to be different for everyone.  People I know who
are reflecting during this time tend to think of who this man was, and to
think of his family and what kind of needs they have and how they can be
supported.  Others I'm certain are thankful of being able to spend time
with their families and loved ones, using this time as a reminder of how
short and precious life is.

One reflection that I don't hear but I expect is considered privately among
many is one I find myself considering: _Could I do the same things as this
kind of man?_

In the two and a half years that this man's ordeal continued, it was very
rare to hear him complain of his situation.  He was always more concerned
with the wellbeing of others and of carrying out his duties as a church
shepherd.  Even during lower points of his trials he found ways to be an
encouragement to others through writing and other methods of reaching out
to those who were in need or struggled with similar end-of-life battles. 
His wife, likewise, has managed to stand as a pillar of faith during some
very dark moments - moments that for her may likely continue into varying
grim shades as the challenges of grieving continue.

Those of us who have been witness to these struggles know that they have
always looked to God for their strength.  They have never expressed that
their ability to stand firm in the face of trials was under their own
power, and I don't intend to put such words in their mouths.  But what I do
see is that they had the faith to make such a difficult choice to hold out
in a time of extreme duress.  Would we do the same?  Would I?

I think it's natural to try and find some meaning in the face of suffering,
even if that meaning is ill-understood or based on incomplete knowledge of
a situation.  For me, I see death itself as incredibly meaningless, but the
challenges it brings invariably show where the spirit of a man lies.  And
while I have taken away many different things from bearing witness to this
struggle, I think most of all I see an example of what it means (to
paraphrase Hebrews 12) to stand firm to the point of shedding your own
blood.  I wonder what kind of preparation a man must go through to be able
to have the faith to rely on God in the face of a protracted death.  If I
don't want to go through that kind of preparation or face that challenge,
what does that say about where my own spirit is?

My wife and I went to the hospice they stayed at once to visit them.  We
happened to arrive right at the time that some of our church family was
arriving, and we were able to join them in some singing for Duane and his
wife.  It was a very emotional period for most everyone - there were times
the singing became quite muted because too many people were tearing up. 
But what I remember most about that time was that at one point I looked up
to see them both.  While everyone around was trying to keep on singing, he
was lying in bed looking at peace, and she was standing over him with one
hand on his arm, and looking at him with an expression of utmost love on
her face, while still quietly joining us in song.  These moments of peace
and love were not moments that they would have generated from within
themselves.  Rather they were the result of the peace and love of God
having worked in their lives for so long, working now to redeem a time of
sorrow into a recognition of the love and comfort He provides through the
community He has established.

When I look back at Duane's struggles I continue to see moments like this
one.  It is a constant reminder for me that the fruits of the Spirit are
sweet enough to mask any bitterness tasted as a result of living in a
fallen world.  And if I believe this, then it is not too far a leap to say
that the challenges faced every day are not too difficult, and that, like
Duane, I too can choose faith in the face of turmoil.

For someone who didn't know Duane as well as I might have, this is the
legacy that I see from his life.  And when I ask myself if I could do the
same kind of things that he did, I answer _no, but God can do them through
me_.  And this is enough encouragement for me to take heart and press on,
knowing that the choice of faith is never misplaced.

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