OLDER PEOPLE
(Posted 2008-02-01 22:13:11 by ArchPaladin)

The wake for my wife's grandfather was today, and we went and stayed for
about three hours.  For me, it involved a lot of people who's names I am
still learning, and a lot more people who I've never met and may never meet
again.

The rest of the wake aside, there was one particular thing that I found
interesting while I was there.  I was listening to the statements and
conversations made by people of my generation and the people a couple
generations ahead of me when they would pay their respects.  My generation
hasn't been to too many wakes - comparatively speaking anyway.  Generally
we didn't know what to say to the close family, and if we did have
something to say it was either (a) off the topic of the wake, (b) somewhat
rehearsed, or (c) something generally mumbled through.  The older
generations, on the other hand, generally zoomed right in to say something
meaningful, and knew how to weave meaningful statements effortlessly right
in the flow of the conversation.  My generation would speak easily about
their jobs, their lives, their plans, and the things they were
experiencing.  The older generations spoke less about personal experiences
and more about communal experiences.  They seemed more in tune with the
needs and feelings of others they were conversing with, whereas my
generation wouldn't always pick up on the subtleties.

I found this very interesting because the older generations seemed much
more capable of relating emotionally.  For me, this has great appeal
because I want to help heal others and will need to know how to relate and
express emotions meaningfully.  So I look at what the older generations can
do with their conversation and wonder just how they are able to do that. 
How could I replicate that?

I can think of a few ideas, but ultimately what I think it comes down to is
experience and wisdom.  From one perspective it's a disappointing answer,
because it tells me that I can't replicate what they do without lots of
practice and many years of work.  On the other hand, it gives me something
to work at.

--------

There are no comments on this post.