2026년1월4일	-	Aversions

Enchiridion 2:

	Detatch your aversion from everything not up to us, and
	transfer it to what is against nature among the things
	that are up to us.
	
One note: Given that I do not hold to there being a rational mind that
permeates the natural world, things "against nature" has to be simplified
a bit to mean what is irrational. I feel this carries some of the same
meaning, but obviously loses something as well in the absence of Stoic
pan(en)theism.

Aversions: a fear of what is to come. I, of course, do have irrational
fears of possible future outcomes for things I cannot fully determine. It
poisons the present with fears of the future.  Poverty is one of these.
I occasionally have this feeling of being on the edge, that I could tip
over at any moment and fall into a situation where basic care and quality
of life for my family could no longer be afforded.

But, what can I do about this besides try my best and accept the outcome
of this effort? It is difficult, however, as I can see myself being
reduced to working some minimum wage job, knowing that it is inadequate,
and feeling a sense of shame and failure as a husband and father. Of
course, rationally, I recognize that this fear does nothing to help me,
and not only that, but is based on a value system that I consciously
reject (but clearly still have internalized). A sure sign that much more
work needs to be done within me.

Another thing. Enchiridion 2 also warns us to abandon desire, and I found
this challenging to understand, but I think I get it. Of course, desiring
things that we have no control over just invites unfortunate outcomes,
since we are not assured that they will come to pass. But the warning
against even desiring the things that would be good for us, such as that
our will would be wholly orientated towards virtue, was more difficult.
My conclusion was that if we are in a place where our immaturity puts the
good beyond are present capabilities, it can only result in frustration.
And when we do grow in capacity, desire is unnecessary, since we do not
need to hope for it, as the capacity is with us here and now.

So, for now, I will work on this and try to take up Epictetus's advice
to live in the present, guided by natural impulses, though carefully and
with reason in the driver seat.