I'm glad you got some resolution of this. From what I can tell,
   school hasn't fundamentally changed since the invention of the
   modern school system, by Horace Mann in the 1850s. Education
   reform, never is. The rite of passage; I don't see a need to
   institutionalize a rite of passage of feeling left out. That's
   going to happen *anyway* in the natural course of friendships,
   alas. Schools needn't play a role in it at all. (social reform
   in schools; I could write a book on "what's wrong/how-to-fix"...
   progressively/radically but practical. but then I'd have to
   enter politics; and I don't like ruffling big feathers *sigh* )
   You handled it perfectly Amy. My fingers are crossed that all
   works out well (actually I take it back; school *does* need to
   play a role; in the fixing. Conflict resolution among friends
   can't always be left to their own devices; parents can help of
   course but kids spent most of their social time (where the
   conflicts are) -*in school* - yet, we still hold to an
   antiquated notion that kids are blank slates for the writing of
   objective knowledge upon. But humans are *social creatures* -
   mirror neurons + all that; right from the first sight of
   mother's face all the way through life.... and the nearly
   complete neglect of that within the system through which the
   future generation that *will* be in control of things to come,
   cripples the future... ok ok... I gotta stop. I feel a rant
   coming on )