17 July, 2026 Friday

oops, didn't write here the last couple days. 

right now i'm listening to aNon radio through VLC while i type. 

it makes me feel a bit less alone. i'm grateful for this time to 
myself to work on music and other projects, but i really miss my 
partner, and now that my car is out of order, i feel very stranded 
and isolated. the only social contact i have is when i go to 
ceramics class on tuesdays, or when i talk to my partner or 
friends/family on the telephone. i'm very grateful for ceramics 
class! 

we live in an area of town that has long steep declines no matter 
which way you go to get to anywhere else---basically the spread out top 
of a hill. and while there is technically public transit (i 
think i mentioned this in my last post, actually), it's very 
limited. i need to deal with getting my car towed and see what's 
wrong with it, but i've just felt paralyzed about it. 

there is a "hamfest" this sunday at the neighboring county's 
amateur radio club (our county doesn't have one). i may rev up
the nerve to walk to two of the only neighbors i've met tomorrow.
they're an older couple who just put a little radio tower up in 
their yard. when my partner was here he saw the tower and went 
over to introduce himself, and we ended up going over and helping 
to install the ground rod for the tower. i think my partner did 
some other helping when i was at work at some point, too. that was 
a couple of months ago, and i haven't seen them again since. but
they were very nice, and i'm wondering if they might be interested
in going to the hamfest, and if they are, if i might be able to 
tag along. 

i figured out how to use the CV/gate/pressure out of the MicroFreak
to sequence the modular today, and made some recordings. i was able
to send clock out of my modular into the MF. neat! 

tomorrow i need to start working on cutting samples from my recordings, 
and start learning the ins and outs of the Force. i got it (used) as an 
alternative to using my laptop with DAW and Push (1) for clip launching. 
it feels somewhat similar in certain ways in terms of workflow, but i've 
never worked with an MPC, so there's a lot that's new to me. i do have 
a sampler module, but after several years with it, i realized that 
although i can trigger samples either manually or via CV, it's still 
not meant for the clips & scenes type workflow, and i find i miss that. 
i'm hoping to interweave modular and Force through the set i'm preparing.

i have a performance coming up in early september that is a big
deal for me. in a way it feels crazy to spend months preparing 
for one hour, especially to the degree that i'm holed up here 
instead of floating around with my partner in the far-off state
where he's working now. i can't wait to get to a point where i
feel prepared for my set, and go join him.

today he and i talked on the phone about the idea of buying a 
trailer or camper to live in there, while we save up for a 
house. i found some options for sale and it feels like it might
be in sight. this gives me some hope, as i feel like i can join
him once there's a stable place to stay, and a place to work on
music. 

ooh i'm enjoying this chiming/rattle/bell track playing now. i
think it's currently Synth Battle Royale on aNon radio. 

i fiiiinally mixed up a new batch of the 'restore & nourish' tea 
blend that i was drinking daily for a month (or two?) up until the
second batch i mixed ran out, and i've been slacking on it for the
last 2-3 weeks. i saw an herbalist through a community consultation
offering, a while back, and she came up with the formulation. it's 
actually very similar to a tea blend i had made up for myself a 
couple of summers ago, as she used herbs that i said i already
had available at home. the blend is:

1 (or 2) parts nettles
2 parts tulsi (holy basil)
1 part hawthorn leaf & flower
1/2 part ginger root
1/2 part licorice root
1 (or 2) parts marshnmallow root

the blend i'd made previously had mint instead of ginger, and
gingko or raspberry leaf instead of hawthorn. 

i also started taking a vitamin D3 liquid supplement yesterday,
and a magnesium liquid supplement today, based on her advice. 

i'm trying to work on improving my diet, and including protein 
and vegetables or greens in each of my meals. my diet is lacto-ovo
pescatarian, but when i'm low energy, i can succumb to eating 
toast, cereal, peanut butter etc., and neglecting the rounded
diet i know i need.