4 April 26 Saturday


i was outside on a winter day, the light was a bit subdued. 
i was in a yard, patches of yellowed grass showed here and 
there through a thin blanket of snow. i saw, first, a very 
small fawn browsing for food, then saw an adult--at first i 
thought she was a female deer, but then, looking at her downy 
antlers, thought she and the fawn must be reindeer. i felt 
for them, hungry in the cold, and went inside to look for 
food to offer them. 

it felt like i was at my belated grandparents' house (they've
been coming up in my dreams a lot lately), though it didn't 
look like the home they lived in when living. i didn't see 
them around. at first i chose something, i can't remember what,
but thought, 'this is too expensive, i better try to find 
something the animals will like, that doesn't cost so much for
my grandparents.' i found some peanuts. for some reason i felt
i should cook them. i threw some sugar (??) into a huge pot that
was in the sink, then realized it was full of water. i looked in,
and realized there was a ring of tiny chicken carcasses arranged
at the bottom. i thought, 'oh no, Gramma must be seasoning these 
for Grampa to cook on the grill.' i felt worried about possibly 
ruining my beloved grandparents' cooking. 

i also felt some revulsion, as i'm lacto-ovo-pescatarian (i was 
lacto-ovo-vegetarian from 2019 until some time in late 2024 or 
early 2025, when i was struggling with brain fog and some mental 
health issues, and decided to start eating fish and certain 
seafood again). 

*

in another dream, i was sitting at a desk, off to one side. the
main seat of the desk faced the door to the room, which was to 
my right. so, i was sitting on the left side if you were seated
at the main seat of the desk, but the perspective i had in the 
dream (i'm often both participant and observer at the same time, 
in dreams) was from the other side of the desk, so i was on the 
right side from that perspective. 

i had awareness that i was a strong, somehow magical woman.

in front of me on near the edge of the desk was an old telephone,
the slightly-curved rounded-rectangular-handset kind that you would 
set into its cradle. (e says they were called 'trimline'-style 
phones.) i would lift the handset and tell whoever was on the other
end (i had no sense of who, or if i did i can't remember) where i 
was, and who i was with (but i don't remember the specifics of these
details). 

it was a safety precaution, and a way of getting over on 
the man who kept entering the room. he wore a suit, and was large--
maybe even a bit of a jack-in-the-beanstalk-giant to him. he meant
me no good.

each time he entered, i was just setting the phone down. the third
or fourth time, though, i realized too late that he had switched the
real phone (which was still nearby on the desk) with a 'dummy' phone
set closer to me, which was not hooked in. i knew he'd tricked me, 
and my people didn't know now where i was...

* 

another dream. invisible unicorns all around. but people kept
saying they didn't believe they were there. i hear 'super mario'
sounds, like the clinkle-twinkle of coins, as i ascend. 

i'm walking up some stairs. slowly, a magenta-pink unicorn becomes 
visible, shifting first into transparency, then more and more opaque
and tangible by degrees. she has a ruff of thick brown fur around her 
neck. she tells me her name is Super Mario, and that she has shown
herself to me to let me know that they (the unicorns) are all real.

(i was so in love with unicorns, when i was little, and had a special 
unicorn stuffed animal that my father won for me at a carnival game.)