## 42 When all seems useless

There are sad moments in life. You know why in the last post of this blog. The days are shorter now. The night is coming earlier and with it, the silence. Everything seems empty. I don't read much about the news in the world. Wars, genocides, fascism, ... I'm even writing that post without thinking. Just words after words, sentences after sentences. 

I don't care about politics in my country. It's meaningless now for me, useless with every media going more to the far right, giving the mic to racists, ... I don't understand my colleagues, my family. Sometimes I remember what my grand father said of his life in the 1936-39, just before the second world war. He went on holidays with friends just before the war... He has never seen them again, after... It could be the last years in freedom too before a becoming dictate ... But do i care ? 

All this seems useless, irrelevant, when you see a life going away...Life is like the sand in the hand, between your fingers, falling down to the ground, going with the wind. It's like the leaves I just gathered and picked up, coming again in an infinite cycle but with less and less enthusiasm. Oh it's always like that in fall and winter, before Christmas, but especially this year. Nothing happens to makes me happy again. It's too early, too difficult for now. The time of mourning. 

The work is helpful. My job isn't... A new job since 3 months, more responsibilities, a team to manage and crisis after crisis coming from assembly plants, from suppliers, from who else ? The impression that nobody knows how to build a good engine, a good car now. In my team, I'm the youngest and we could have an apprentice next year...I'll see some student from the same course as me...just 30 years after. Nothing has change but I'm not sure that they want to do that job. It's so interesting sometimes and I have a lot of tasks for many years. It's not common in my company with a new boss coming from Italy and USA, the worse countries for quality. Who can understand...That world seems to be turning upside down. 

Climate change seems to be ignored. For me it's a motivation to fight, to search new way of thinking, of making but that world, those humans are so conservative. I could only think about my own life, selfish...I don't have children. I prefer to help the other's. I just had news from our "goddaughter", so far from us. Hope, smiles ... That's a good way of thinking. A cyclone passed nearby but it's OK now. No war, life is improving. Yes, I must be positive for that, not looking at the worst. I just have to sing that famous Monty Python's song..."Always look on the bright side of life". Oh, yes, I just saw a picture of them today. Old men but I prefer to think about their TV shows and movies. Exactly what I need now, a good British humor...that even Britain seems to have lost. And exactly why I love writing a blog ;-)

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