Collab Weekly Digest - - 2018-06-03 Collab Weekly Digest - https://sffshortstories.com/collab These posts have been made to Collab in the last week. Click the link to read the story or add to it. You can choose not to receive the weekly digest in your profile. Or reply to this email to contact the admin. Collab News ------------ I added all the text in the email notifications to the language files, en.php and lang.php. Please let me know about anything that reads funny or maybe is just plain missing. Bug reports ----- Since I added notifications I have received an error. The error is printed at the top of the screen and usually says ..... file not found ..... If you get this error report please send me a bug report. Copy and paste the error from the top of the screen. This way I get the exact error. Copy and paste the contents of your address bar. This way I get what program caused the error. Any additional info like what you were doing when the error occurred and whether the error screwed it up or not will be helpful. Thanks Email - hairylarry@deltaboogie.com --- --- Newest posts first. --- A Question Of Balance... continued Flick the switch. Flick it back. Check the computer. Close. I guess it's better to be slowly spiraling out into a slightly larger orbit than to be plummeting toward the atmosphere. Check the fuel. Ok there. For now. I mean I can't get home but at least I can maintain orbit. Still no sign of my rendezvous. They were supposed to be here yesterday. Just as well I guess. Haven't really finished my reconnaissance. Back to work. Mountains, rivers, oceans. All these planets start to look the same after awhile. Now I know why they don't recommend solo flights. My partner got sick and they sent me out anyway. Talking to myself. But I'm not insane. I'm ok. I just have to keep my balance. Now, where's that rendezvous. Posted by hairylarry - posted on 2018-06-03 at 18:50 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000001/2018-06-03-18:50:27.txt --- Yellow Bananas (It's got to be a good story)... continued I mean it was at the corner grocery. And right out on a table there was a big bunch of yellow bananas. Just the kind I like. Twist my arm why don't ya. I grabbed them up and went in to pay the grocer. Somebody had my number. This isn't the first time. It happened before too. Once I was just about to run out of gas. I looked down at the needle sitting below E and I looked up and there was a gas station! Now how did they know my needle was below E? And how did they get that gas station there just when I needed it. That's the hard part. Tracking my gas usage is easy peasy compared to making gas stations appear out of nowhere just to make a sale. Anyway, back to the yellow bananas. They were delicious. Posted by hairylarry - posted on 2018-06-03 at 18:36 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000001/2018-06-03-18:36:51.txt --- I Dreamed That I Woke Up... continued Then I woke up. Yawning I walked into the living room thinking about making coffee. Uh oh, I thought. There was Fred. And there was Fred. And there was me. And there was me. I had to sit down. Fred was arguing with himself. I've seen him do that a lot but usually there was only one of him arguing with himself. You know the normal way. "I should do this. No I should do that". I jumped to my feet. "Shut up!" I shouted, "Just do something." Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. In fact I think I was crazy. They weren't even arguing about what to do. That was all in my mind. In fact I was beginning to think they were all in my mind. I mean, first they were in my dream and that was in my mind. Now they're all here. Probably still all in my mind. I went to sit down but I was already sitting there. I looked up at me. "If you move you lose." Posted by hairylarry - posted on 2018-06-03 at 17:11 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000001/2018-06-03-17:11:58.txt --- All Cliff Hangers Madge chewed furiously as the escaping air whistled past her ears. Then she slapped the wad of chewing gum over the hole and the cold of space immediately froze it into place. She grabbed a roll of duct tape from her utility belt and duct taped a nice X over the patch. Speaking into her log she added "Standard emergency patch, chewing gum and duct tape." "That was close." she thought. "If that hole had been a half inch bigger the air would have sucked the gum right out into space and there would have been a Madge patch duct taped to the wall." "Navigation report!" said the Captain. "We've got problems." said the navigator. "You know that little asteroid that just punctured Madge's cabin? Well, it's mama is following right behind." Madge looked out her porthole and sure enough. There was one mother of an asteroid heading straight at her. She didn't know what to do so she crawled under the bed. Her whole cabin shook when the asteroid hit. Posted by hairylarry - posted on 2018-06-02 at 23:22 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000001/2018-06-02-23:22:41.txt --- Constantly Commenting... continued And why do we care so much about being witty? Wouldn't thought provoking or empathetic be more desirable characteristics in writing? But no. It has to be clever and witty. A good comment makes someone LOL. Even in writing this thought provoking story I am careful to get a witty little jab in every couple of sentences. I would hate for someone to think that I'm boring. Posted by hairylarry - posted on 2018-06-01 at 20:11 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000001/2018-06-01-20:11:14.txt --- Tux the Mighty Dragon... continued He flew all the way to Antigua which was much warmer. And Tux was glad to find out that they did have ants in Antigua although he was the only one around that was glad about it. They also had beaches on Antigua which made Tux feel right at home. So he set up shop, so to speak, frolicking and scaring tourists. They soon got used to him and he became a kind of tourist attraction. What with people coming to see him it wasn't so easy to scare them. So he started peering over their shoulders at their laptops. And phones. And Kindles. In a random sort of way Tux started learning many things. Posted by hairylarry - posted on 2018-06-01 at 13:12 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000001/2018-06-01-13:12:05.txt --- A Night In The Park... continued "Spectral?" I queried. "Well that's not a lot of help as far as I'm concerned. What's that even mean?" "Well Leo, according to Webster it means ghostly, but let me just add that it also means something that perturbs the mind." he answered. "Does your mind feel perturbed?" "My mind feels anger, fear and disbelief and if that's perturbed, then yes, I am feeling perturbed." I responded. "I want this to be nothing more than a bad, a very bad, dream that I'm going to wake up from any moment." "I wish I could reassure you, but I can't." he said. "As soon as the sun is up we can escape the castle for long enough to make a plan before we come back to put an end to this." "Come back!" I shouted. "Are you out of your mind? If I get away from here I am never ever coming back." Abriel raised an eyebrow and then turned his back on me and said, "I won't try to force you, but I thought you, of all people, would have more grit." I had no intention of caving. I hoped. Posted by vivian - posted on 2018-05-31 at 16:02 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000002/2018-05-31-16:02:36.txt --- A Night In The Park... continued "Can we talk?" I whispered. Abriel nodded, "Should be safe enough if we keep quiet. We aren't really in the castle anymore." It just poured out of me. "What are you doing here? And what about that weird guy with the bats? I've never seen anything like that in my life. If we're not in the castle where are we? I thought you were just a teacher at the community college." Abriel was my teacher for creative writing last term. If this had happened back then I would have had something to write about. "Slow down", he said. I can't answer all your questions at once. And I'm not sure I know all the answers either. But at night the castle can be extremely dangerous. The remodel is just a way to shut it down until we get it figured out. The door isn't supposed to be open. Other than that I don't know much. Except this isn't the first night I've been trapped in here." "Well, who was that weird guy with the bats?", I asked. "Let's just say he has a spectral nature." Posted by hairylarry - posted on 2018-05-31 at 14:50 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000001/2018-05-31-14:50:01.txt --- A Night In The Park... continued "Are you an idiot?" Abriello Galante muttered. "Follow me and don't make a sound." He grabbed my arm and pulled me deeper into the room. I heard the sound of bat wings as we stepped through a doorway that seemed to appear out of nowhere. I breathed a quick sigh of relief as it closed behind us. I started to ask a question only to have Abriel slap a hand over my open mouth. He shook his head no and then began to tap on the walls very softly. The floor suddenly shuddered and I felt the sensation you get when an elevator jerks into motion. I knew we were traveling upward by the way my knees bent as we moved. Again I wanted to ask questions but this time I didn't attempt to open my mouth. When the upward movement jerked to a stop I lost my balance and threw my hands out to steady myself on a wall only to be pushed down to the floor. "Don't touch the walls." Abriel hissed. "One wrong move and we are done. Just sit here on the floor and wait for daylight." Posted by vivian - posted on 2018-05-31 at 14:23 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000002/2018-05-31-14:23:46.txt --- Contrary Motion... continued We only waited about two minutes and then off we went, hiking up into the foothills. I was at the front with Sheryl by my side, talking endlessly. I'm not complaining, it made the time pass and it made the walking easier. Today would be easy anyway. We wouldn't hit anything steep until late tomorrow. If we actually were where I thought we were. Sheryl stayed with me all day, we ate lunch together, and then she bedded down beside me. I was beginning to think she liked me except for the occasional pointed questions like "Where did you get the map?" and "Who is Mr. Stuart, anyway?". I don't know why she was asking me. There were at least two people in the party that actually had answers, Mr. Cooper and Mr Day. Mr. Cooper was the money behind the expedition and Mr. Day was his man and our leader. He hired all of us for whatever skills they might need. I was hired as a guide. And I know where I got the map. Mr. Day gave it to me. But I wasn't telling Sheryl this. Posted by hairylarry - posted on 2018-05-30 at 09:43 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000001/2018-05-30-09:43:38.txt --- When Talking to Birds... continued Not only did they listen. They understood and obeyed. Susan would ask them to fly out to the barn and back and they would do it. She gave one of the birds a button and told him to drop it down the well. Button in beak off the bird flew and then he dropped it right down the well. One morning a whole flock of birds was waiting on her window. She showed them a penny and she asked if they could find any more. Off they flew bringing back 11 pennies, a nickel, two dimes, and a shiny new quarter. The next day she tried the same thing and only got three pennies. That's how she learned about the law of diminishing returns. Her life was changed. She spent every waking moment thinking up things to ask the birds to do. She was bird crazy. Sometimes she'd even dream about them. Posted by hairylarry - posted on 2018-05-29 at 21:47 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000001/2018-05-29-21:47:49.txt --- The Sun Went Down As the Sun Went Up... continued The hatch opened up unexpectedly, and both the dog and I dropped, falling into what felt like hard gravity. Surprisingly, something soft caught us on the way down. Some sort of netting. We bounced a bit, settled, and then I was able to scramble to solid ground. I looked around, mesmerized by the lights. Posted by Dogtrax - posted on 2018-05-28 at 09:30 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000018/2018-05-28-09:30:42.txt --- Contrary Motion... continued I pulled out the map I had been given. Its folds and creases showed the map's age, and some of the lettering and some of the lines were lost to time. I'd have to infer or hope for the best. Sheryl looked over my shoulder as I spread out the map. "Are we here or there?" she asked, pointing. "Here." "And we're going there?" "If we're lucky. Do you see any signs of Mr. Stuart?" "No. Nothing. Are you sure this is the spot?" "Yes," I told her, although to be honest, I wasn't all that sure. For all O knew, the winds could have brought us far off course. "I guess we wait before we set off," I told her, and folded up the map. She eyed it a bit too eagerly, watching me stuff the map into the inside pocket of my shirt. I'd have to keep an eye on her. Posted by Dogtrax - posted on 2018-05-28 at 09:28 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000018/2018-05-28-09:28:21.txt --- A Night In The Park... continued I was running so fast I nearly missed it. A hand, reaching out from one of the castle doorways. It grabbed me by the shirt and began to pull me into the room. I resisted, at first, already scared out of my wits and in survival mode. Then I heard the voice. And recognized it. I let myself get pulled into the room. Posted by Dogtrax - posted on 2018-05-28 at 09:23 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000018/2018-05-28-09:23:52.txt --- When Talking to Birds It was only one day. One day out of many. Susan remembered how later, her mother listened and then told her that she had an overactive imagination. But that's not how Susan remembered it. Not at all. What she remembered was that one rainy day in June, the day she turned five years old, when she could talk to birds, and the birds listened. Posted by Dogtrax - posted on 2018-05-28 at 09:19 Central Time. Read the story so far - https://sffshortstories.com/collab/index.php?story=000018/2018-05-28-09:19:55.txt ---