My legs are sore from boxing.

Training is going well, I felt
like I could push myself a bit
more yesterday. Realizing that I
was economizing my energy... for
what reason? Just give it all. 
I pushed through, I have plenty
of energy for that. 

In the lockers room, I said that I
had competed when I was
younger. I lied. I feel stupid.

Why would I say stuff like
that? To look more cool? To get
their approval? I hope no one
ever brings this story back.
If not I'll just say I lied to
their face. I don't want that,
but I don't want to keep on lying
either. 

I went for tacos and margarita
after boxing. It was nice. There
were a few cute waitresses. A few
nice smiles, a few words. One of
them was particularly cute. Punk,
small, rock t-shirt. Sitting at
the bar there for a moment. I
liked it. I could watch, enjoy,
and not feel like I needed to
make a move or do anything about
it. People kept on coming in.
Everyone seemed so boring,
Canadians. 

It was simple and nice. I didn't
want anything. I was exhausted, a
bit drunk, and happy. 

I had lunch and tea with an old
friend of mine. He's definitely
going through a mid-life crisis,
with health issues, confused
about his choices. His wife went
through menopause in the last few
years, they don't have a sex life
anymore. I'm not there yet, I
feel like I've just started a new
chapter in my sex life. With all
our differences, it felt really
sweet and warm to connect back. I
really like the guy, I feel like
we've always understood each
other well.

We complained about Canada, about
Vancouver, about people not being
creative, crazy or having much
style. The counter culture being
held by people in the street,
the prostitutes and the drug
addicts that gave up on this
broken system. Living in the
gutters, dealing dope and getting
free rides in the ambulance when
they OD. We both miss Berlin,
Europe, and a time more exciting. 

I'm still quite confused, unsure,
slightly unmotivated. I feel my
writing is getting boring, my
life feels empty, my bed feels
empty. I'm telling myself, in
these moments of transition,
where there is no direction, it's
good to keep on practicing
different disciplines, so that
once that phase is over, at least
something happened, at least I
got better at something. So I
train, I do push-up... 

We had a lazy Karate class
tonight. Only 3 of us showed up,
so we practiced one kata,
discussing the details, the foot
work, the position. It was nice,
and simple. 

The main water line in the house
is broken again. I haven't had
water in the house for a few
days. I'm getting stinky! I used
to freak out about this. Now, I
don't really care. I'll fix the
water line tomorrow, I hired a
kid with a shovel, it'll take a
few hours, maybe a couple days, I
might need to jump in the lake,
if the sun comes out!