The rocks needs heat for a few
hours. I wake up, make tea, get
to the beach, start a fire.

Will it starts on the first try?

I place the rocks, in a pile. The
top one will be the first one to
go in the lodge. Grand fathers
they call them, why not Grand
mothers? Some of them seems like
sibling and grand child too.

I chop some wood, put it around
the rock. I still don't know if
this will all work. I come down
from the house to the beach,
again and again. Blankets, tarps,
shovel, incense, hape, water...

One layer at a time, and now it's
time. I'm excited, somewhat
worried. I throw some petals of
flower in the lake, thanking
it. I get to the fire, no more
offering. I thank you the fire,
for everything you've helped me
let go of. For everything that
I've burnt in the last few weeks.

The fire transform reality,
fire is power.

A bit of hape, I pick up the
shovel, bring the grand father
and the grand mothers in the
lodge. A hole at the end, that I
left a bit bigger, directly where
the rocks needs to be. I undress,
I enter, I wonder.

It's a bit brighter than a normal
lodge. It's a beautiful
composition. I throw some peyote
powder on the fire. Peyote that
I've had a spoon full a couple
hours earlier. Peyote that made
me more sensitive and a bit too
open for the moment.

The ground is cold. The air warms
up slowly. Water on the rocks,
steams fills the lodge. I made
it, it's now a sweat lodge.

Traditionally, you go for four
round. But this is no tradition,
maybe one or two. I go in an out,
bring more rock. The second round
is intense. Too hot for a moment,
I need to stick my head outside
the door. Third time made me
content, it works.

Finally, why not go in one more
time, to make it traditional,
four time it is. It's not as
warm, and I pour a lot of
water. Lots of steam.

Naked on the beach, playing with
fire, playing with rock, playing
with a bucket of water. Making a
basket, that fit me, and maybe
someday a friend. Steaming,
sweating, relaxing, loving.

This feels right, this feels
normal, this feels like what I
need to do, this is what I am
doing. It's so simple.