Although I wrote a lot in the
last few days, I was annoyed by
my tone, so I didn't post any of
that writing.

The days are going well. I set
myself the goal to not buy food
for my time alone and it's going
well. I made some granola with
stuff I haven't used in the
kitchen for a while, oat, hemp
heart, lin seed, and old jar of
honey, a bag of coconut
flakes. It turned out pretty
good, now I have a shitload of
granola!

I might make bread this weekend
too as I have a lot of flour and
no more bread!

The energy cultivation is going
well, I haven't had that much
energy for a very long time. It
feels good but a bit
overwhelming. I can't remember
last time in my life I had that
energy. 2008 maybe? At the
beginning of my relation with my
ex wife I think. 

I started doing push up to deal
with extra surge of energy. The
goal is to do 100 a days, pretty
much for the rest of my life. I
read that you loose muscle mass
after a certain age if you don't
train.

Weekly training: 

Monday Boxing 1h
Tuesday Karate 1.5h
Wednesday Taichi 1h + Hiking
Thursday Boxing 1h
Friday Karate 1.5h
Weekend Hiking 2h

In the summer I'd like to add
swimming. I can only jump in the
lake for a second right now.

I really haven't taken the time
to build a sweat lodge on the
beach. Maybe I'll get to it over
the weekend. But really, resting,
healing, training, letting the
time pass for my emotional
healing to happen, while not
wasting my time, is good enough
for the moment. I can't wait for
my emotional body to be in better
shape. 

I've bought a ticket for a
psychedelic event next
weekend. I'm really excited to
meet the psy-crew from around
here. I wanted to do more
psychedelic and didn't know how
to go about it. Writing an ad in
the newspaper? Someone posted a
link on a signal group. Its seems
really nice, although a bit
short, from 9pm to 3am, you have
to calculate precisely how you go
about it. I am planing to do 0.15
of mdma, split in two dose and a
50ug of lsd. Somewhat low doses
as I have no idea what this crew
looks like and I still want to be
in control.

I need to rent a hotel room for
the night as the part ends at
3am. This got me quite
excited, to have that freedom to
maybe bring back someone to
finish the party with! Makes me
smile :D

"Hey wanna come finish the party
in my hotel room?"

I don't know why it feels so fun
and wild. I'll probably end up
going back alone in my hotel
room, but it's fun to have that
possibility. I don't want to make
the evening about flirting
either, I want to dance all
night and have fun. If someone
fall in my lap, then maybe, but I
really don't want to focus on
that. 

I haven't been in a party alone,
where I don't know anyone, in a
very, very long time. I think
last time was in Berlin, 10 years
ago.