I didn't think it would
be such a radical change
in my life to not sit
in front of the tv each
night. I mean, I used
to do that every night,
like an alcoholic, or a
drug addict, I needed
that fix.

I think about it 40 times
during the day. In the
evening, I get to the
stairs to go up to the
screen. I stop myself.

I had a midnight snack
yesterday, then had a
shiver of pleasure thinking
I'd eat that in front
of the tv. It's weird,
and it grosses me out how
much of a habit I have.

But now on day 5, my
energy is different.
I'm less hungry, my
sleep is better, after
a bit of a hibernation,
and my energy feels
clearer. I'm just really
excited, as if I did
something really great.

And I know this is
a really simple change
in one's life, but it
feels like I'm waking
up after a long period
of numbness. 

How numbing is watching
tv (and all other sort of
media)? When I see something
being done on the screen,
I feel less likely to do
the same thing. It feels
like it's been already
done, why would I do it?
Why would I do something
about it?

Media can inform and also
entertain. But it seems
like media now doesn't
inform nor entertain, but
mostly program our mind.
A slow numbing of our
humaneness. Even if I
have complete control
over what I watch, I
got hooked in.

There is a desire to live
fully, outside the confine
of what society deem a normal
life. I feel like watching
tv tames this desire. I
don't need to live fully
if someone else is living fully,
or some weird twist like
that. Anyway, this feels
quite 'grand' for what it
is, I'm surprised by my
own excitement. We'll see what
will really transpire from it.