A few more hours of waiting. I
left the cafe, traded some
sparkling water cartridges, made
some money and decided to
purchase a book or two.

At the used bookstore, I
saw her again. Her profile is a
lot nicer. I didn't know what I
wanted. Maybe if I could find
some poetry from Lalla. A book on
Chi, a student of mine asked me
about what it means to cultivate
energy, seems like an appropriate
reading.

I tried to see her again, but she
is gone. The day will be hot, so
I decided to go by the waterfall,
it's always cool there. The first
place I kissed her in public.

I sat down facing the waterfall.

Reading and taking note. I
haven't read in so long. The cool
air, the white noise, I barely
notice the people who comes and
goes. I read half the book in a
couple hours and plan on a radio
show that I will be offering soon
on energy cultivation.

A couple walks by. I notice the
woman in legging. I don't
understand that trend. It really
looks old. She looks at me. I
wonder about what it looks like
these days to be reading a book
in a park. Most people just walk
by, get their phone out, take a
photo. I though they should at
least pay homage to the
waterfall. In a sense, this is
what people do, without bringing
their hands together.

I get to the half point of the
book. Decide to go back in
town. I walk to the garage, the
car still on the hoist. I call my
daughter, tell her where I will
go for lunch. A beautiful woman
on the patio. I notice her soft
hair, hazel. A light summer dress
without much signs of underwear.
She has strong facial features,
northern European maybe?

Her neck bent, she spend the
totality of her time on her
phone. Brings her head up, as
for breathing for a second,
before going back into her world.

I find this very unattractive.

Like a junkie lying down on the
sidewalk that you need to step
over. She gives me the same
feeling. Physically present, but
utterly in another reality.

It reminds me of a date I invited
over. She had a word for people
interacting without phones. She
took out her phone, almost
apologetically, to show me a
picture of something. It is a
drug, it is an addiction, she was
sharing a line of substance to
give a media hit for a second.

My daughter arrives. She talks
about a tv show. She also want to
show me a clip of it. I decline,
I couldn't care less for an edit
of a reality show. I'm a fancy
bitch when it comes to drugs!

She brings up my ex-lover, I
mentioned I didn't want to hear
about her. It gets weird and my
energy completely shift from the
high I was riding all day.

The car won't be ready for
another while. We walk around
town, maybe going back to the
waterfall? She doesn't want to
walk that far. We see some
friends on another patio and sit
for a drink. I question my
friendship with them. These are
friends I had when I was with my
wife.

I don't think I like them
anymore. I've realized that with
other friends too. I was
different back then, I was a
family man. I was seeking boring
simplicity, relationships that
don't excite or challenge. Stable
people who seek others to
solidify their boring reality. 

I don't want that anymore.
I don't have time for that.

No one is really reaching out
anyway, why would I cultivate
friendships like that. I'm okay
with the fighters, the actors,
the musician, the yoginis, the
freaks, the psychonauts and the
artists. If the people I interact
with aren't any of that, I don't
see why I should invest time.

I also hear judgments coming from
these people, twice in the last
week. I feel like closing the
circle. Not that I have a lot of
friends to choose from, but not
defaulting to giving trust and
care to people that doesn't
accept me for who I am.

It feels good to realize this. 
Closing social 'leaks.'
Re-inventing myself into a new
reality. Questioning the people
that I surround myself with.