I dream about her.

Sitting there, looking at me. I
was lucid in the dream, but
couldn't keep the lucidity going
for some reason. I wanted to
offer her a massage. I couldn't
get to her. I woke up from the
dream, got back into it. She was
still there, smiling. I stood up,
wanted to reach her, I wanted to
connect. The excitement woke me
up again. It's a dream, why am I
so gentle in my approach. The
experience left me with a sweet
sensation. 

A lot of dreams. A mountain lion
is around. I walk up on a little
hill, grab a stick. The animal
want to attack me, but I can
defend myself really easily. It
runs away. When I come down, I
see the cat is really small after
all. I wonder why I was scare.

A ranger comes in with a huge
branch, get the cat to get out of
the shed. It comes to me. It's a
strange animal, between a human
and a mountain lion. Did a human
and a cat had kid. He wants my
charger, he will return it
quickly. I don't trust him, take
the usb charger away from him.

The ranger come chasing, he
leaves running away.

I will meet her in person in a
few days. I've met her at a
festival. She wanted to connect,
her wide eyes were inquisitive.

We talked about magic mushroom.

I told her she couldn't do them
two days in a row, she should do
acid the next day. I was told
that she though I wanted to do
acid with her that day. It was
confusing, what story was she
telling herself about me?

She shared more about her magic
mushroom trip. At the river,
dancing with the water, a spiral
of water encircling her. We
talked for a moment, as if we
wouldn't have another time to
talk. It was sweet. I want to
know more about her, and now she
is coming over with other people,
after I dream about her.

I wonder if she saw me in her
dream. It could have been an out
of body experience too. I haven't
done co-dreaming with other
people in a while.

She is aware and awake. I haven't
stared in someone's eyes that are
aware like that in a while.
Everyone's in a dream. Their own,
or someone else's dream. Some
people are awake, very few.

The people that are awake are
like bread crumb left behind for
me to follow. Is it to teach me,
or maybe to teach them? I want to
connect with her, I want to
tattoo her, maybe do some
mushroom, but ultimately, I want
to find people who want to walk
the path of awakening.

I met Alex at the burn. We had a
deep and troubling connection. I
am not sure what happened there. I
kept on being way too deep,
crying, connecting. I want to
blame it on the drugs, but there
was something deeper, something
at a soul level. I told her that
if there is some connection
there, we would see each other
again. But then she got my
contact, and now I am wondering
if she will contact me some days.

I want to learn how to connect
with people that are on their
path of awakening and keep that
connection going. It's strange
because it's not a normal
friendship or a normal
relationship. I don't want to be
a teacher to them, but I often
end up 'initiating' people to
mantra, or another way of seeing
reality. I like tattoo because
there is a connection there,
something that stays with the
other for a long time....

Anyway, I'll see how I connect
with her this week. How to create
a bond or a link, that can be
nurtured gently.