I never care much about alcohol.

Sometime I drink, sometime I
don't, if I don't have it I don't
need it, if I have some at home,
I'll have a drink in the evening.
I sometime party hard with
alcohol, and sometime party hard
without alcohol.

I've never seen it as a problem. 

I had a bit of drinking every
night last week. Nothing much,
a couple beer, or a couple shots.
That was enough to put me
in a quite depressing mood on
Saturday. It was really brutal,
couldn't do anything, felt like
crying most of the day. Spent
most of the day on the couch
watching anime, trying hard to do
something with my life, but
failing and feeling bad about how
shitty my life seemed at the
moment. 

I think I'm done with the booze.

I don't care enough about it, and
these depressive moments are
really brutal. A part of me feels
like I shouldn't be that
sensitive to it, but a part of me
doesn't really care; if it's not
giving me a good feeling, why
would I continue? Am I more
sensitive to the depressive
aspect of alcohol since what
happened to me on the mountain?

I think there is something about
it. The more 'liberated' I am the
more sensitive I am becoming.
I've seen it in other aspect of
my life, where it's becoming
easier for me to tap into seeing
the future or hearing other
people thoughts. I'm more
sensitive, so substances like
alcohol might have a stronger
negative effect on me. 

There is a desire to tweak
reality though. Booze offers a
shift in the way I think, a
respite of my working day mind. 
I don't want to smoke weed
either, but I think a tad of
psychedelic could be valuable.

How about I trade booze for a bit
of magic mushroom tea? Nothing
too strong, but just enough to
shift reality for a moment.

I could mix in some other
mushroom like Reishi or Lion's
Mane. I feel like that will be a
nice exploration, well at least
not drinking for a bit and
observing how life is changing.

I also have some Peruvian cacao,
which would mix really well with
the energy of the magic mushroom.
I feel excited about this idea,
this new exploration.

Lets have a sober whatever!