The cat lay down on the kitchen
table. The heater just below it
provide a constant flow of heat,
the warmest spot in the whole
house. I'd love to lay down on
the table too, all day. But my
brain doesn't allow for such cat
behavior.

There are two note book on the
side of the window next to the
kitchen table. I was putting them
aside yesterday when I realized
that I didn't have a personal
journal. I was surprised. How
long has it been that I haven't
had a journal? I wanted to bring
change in my life so I burnt the
last journal. But I haven't
bought a new one since.
I've always had a journal for the
last 20 if not 30 years. 

I wrote a few pages on loose
paper. It felt good. I needed that
free form reflection. What I
share here, believe it or not,
is a bit curated. I want to write
thing that are at least a tad
entertaining, a story that has
some continuation. 

In my personal journal I reflect
in French. It is also quite
boring, I repeat myself day after
day. I try to figure out some of
my limitations. I troubleshoot my
life, my mind, trying one thing
at a time, taking notes on my
failures and success. 

"Oh you want to change this, well
try that first, and then this,
and then that. That didn't work,
ok, lets try this again, not the
first time that we're here!"

I also need a place to write
without thinking that anyone will
ever read it. Not so much that I
have things to hide, but I see a
huge difference in what I write
about when it's a personal
journal and what I would write in
the newspaper, or here.

Today at the witches market, lets
find a journal, not too big, not
too small. Something that will
help me get back into the habit
of journaling just for myself.