June girls

One called for a
couple hours 2 weeks
ago. Another one, I asked
her on a date. And a last
one, I saw at the store
she invited me to her
place. Oh and yet another
one, who was 20 years older
but who was really cool too.

Seems like there is some
movement in this department.
I am still unsure what I
want. But it feels like
there is a momentum toward
something to happens.

I got really turned-on a
couple weeks ago. And instead
of wasting that energy, I
recycled it into prana,
circulating it around my
body and meditating to calm
down the sexual energy, and
re-direct it into my life.

It was intense. It got me
into re-reading about Kundalini
energy. At one point during
the week, my whole body was
shaking. I could feel my
nervous system was in overload,
as I have experienced that
in the past. In one hand it's
nice that I can use that
potential, but on the other
hand I see that I might not
have a very balanced 'storage'
for that energy?

There are countless tales
of kundalini energy rising
and the practitioner not
being able to manage that
potential. Krishna jumping
in the Ganges as his kundalini
was rising. I guess jumping
in the lake in these moments
would be needed.

I'm trying back to cultivate
that energy again this week.
I want to see how far I can
take it. I don't want to waste
my sexual energy in fantasy,
but I also don't know where
to put all that energy.

During that week, I had a
couple lucid dreaming, and
I know that lucid dreams and
out of body experience needs
a lot of that energy. But I
need to calm down and focus
when I know that the potential
is rising.

Anyway, that all points toward
not trying to hard with the
ladies, as a relationship right
now would pull all my attention
away from any personal development.
Which also might be what is needed.
We'll see, how it all develop.