"I don't want to put
my head in the sand!"

She said, full of despair,
still shook by the
emotional roller coaster
she brought us both on.

She was describing,
in gruesome details,
the account of young
children put in cage
to be raise as sex
salve.

"You have to be aware
of these things!
What if it happened
to young people
at your daughter's
school?"

I was shaking,
I was traumatized,
not so much by
the stories she
was telling me
but by the intensity
at which she
was describing
all of that.

I was about to
kick her out
of my home. To
completely
disconnect myself
from her. But then
I took a breath,
I asked her:

"Do you feel this?
Do you feel the
intensity of your
emotions, I am
shaking from your
own emotional
distress."

Yet a minute ago
we were chatting,
around a cup of
green tea. Nothing
to worry about. And
For some reason,
we ended on that
subject.

That same morning,
I was talking on
my radio show about
lessening the effect
of the media on my
own life. Right in
front of me, I had
the perfect example
of how intense the
effect of too much
internet could do
to you.

She had been on a
rabbit hole for
the last few week,
she said. Reading
de-classified CIA
documents. Reading
more and more gruesome
cases.

I told her clearly
that I don't need
that in my life, and
she was figthing back
that I had to read
that stuff, I had to
be aware.

I told her no.

No I don't need
to poison my mind,
I don't need to
traumatize my
life in order
to bring change
in my world.

I'd rather be a
channel of light,
of love, and bring
that to the people
around me, than
going around, repeating
the online trauma
that I've found.

I could feel the
darkness that she
experienced, and how
a part of her wanted
me to experience the
same helplessness.
I could see how these
negative emotions,
these negative energies
could spread, from
people to people.

I understand that there
is a lot of suffering
in the world, but
what good will I be
if I inundate myself,
if I mutilate my mind,
and fill it with all
the worst trauma
the world has created. 

Filling oneself with
fear, disgust, anger
and anguish, to then
dump all these emotions
on the next person who
wants to listen to us.
What good will it make?

Again and again I hear
people saying that they
have to listen to the news,
they have to keep reading,
watching, learning about
what is going on out there,
like addicts finding a
reason to keep on shooting.

No you don't need to
continue. You continue
because you want. No
one needs to keep on
consuming that toxic
goo. If what you consume
makes you feel bad, triggers
you emotionally, creates
fear and despair which you
then share with others
around you, then what
you consume is toxic.

It makes you ill,
and spreads like a
mind virus. Your are
not helping yourself
or others. You are
participating in the
dissemination of
dark and toxic
emotionally charge
material that will
only poison other
people's life.

There are probably
ways to consume media
in a healthy manner.
But why bothers. Even
if I don't watch any
news, I get most of
what is happening from
other people chatting
with me. I really don't
miss much.

If I hear something
that seems unclear
to me, I can go a
dig for myself.

Like I said in my
show (you can re-listen
to the archive:
archives.anonradio.net/#gef
April 1st 2025)
I don't have enough
energy to deal with
all that. I barely can
manage with the energy
I have. I'd rather keep
on the little I have
for something positive,
something light, and
inspiring. When people
greet me and ask me
how I am, I can say,
I am really great and
happy. And sometime,
that's all they need
to hear, for them
to have a better day.