A gentle full moon.

Waking up early this weekend, I
saw the full moon over the
mountains.

Something wants to awaken in me,
I am restraining it. You're
getting enlightened! No I need to
clean my room first. The trip on
the mountain didn't happen by
accident. Something, somewhere
wanted me to have that
experience. Something pushed me
in the right direction.

I'm at a crossroad. Whether you
do it the hard way, or the gentle
way. I feel like I'm grasping at
the rocks on the side of the river
while being dragged into the
current. A memory of falling in
the river while hiking to the
canyon.

But at the same time, there is
nothing inviting into a different
reality. I am not saying no, I am
not pushing away a reality. There
isn't many opportunity knocking
at my door that I decline. I am
trying to decipher what is next
for me, and at the moment it
seems to be only work, training,
raising my daughter, making the
best of a somewhat normal life.

Is it my energy cultivation?
I am avoiding cultivating my
energy. I'm avoiding being my
full self. Is that the choice I
have to make?