I picked up my violin this
morning. Is anything sadder than
someone who plays the violin
badly? I though to myself. It
wasn't too bad after all.
It wasn't sad. 

The fiddle tunes I've learn last
year still comes easily to me. 

She never heard me play.
She wanted to.
She asked a few times.
She's on my mind lately.
I'm okay with that.
The memory of her fill my days.

A witches market this weekend,
what a better place to find
myself a partner, or maybe a
coven. I'd like to learn more
about these rituals, casting
circles, and sacred symbols. 
Bring that into my own practice,
my own tattoo art. I'd love to
find a muse that wants tattoo and
to hide in the forest at night to
create some rituals. I wonder
about the use of psychedelic in
pagan rituals. 

dancing with
the illusion
nothing else

I've been in a hurry to finish
something. Finish work, finish
cleaning the house, finish
preparing to move. And it was
creating a discomfort, a tension,
I can't live just yet, I need to
do all of this.

This week I remembered, it
doesn't matter. Nothing really
matter, I can still meditate on
every moment of life. Whatever I
am doing, it doesn't matter.

Yes it's better to dance with the
illusion. It's there for a
reason, it is what is presented
to me at this moment.

Why would I'd be wanting to finish
this or that? This or that is 'it',
it's all 'it'. There is no better
time than now to dissolve into
consciousness, to be present at
all time. 

presence add time
to my life
Days are so much longer
relationship are so much
more complex.

In a week, I boxe, I do karate, I
play the fiddle, I draw, I
practice tattoos, I play in a
theater troupe, I work, I train,
I reflect, I write, I meditate, I
chant, I dream, and in between
all that I practice awareness.
I stretch reality, I squeeze it
of all its potential.

When I don't see someone for two
weeks, I feel like an eternity
passed by. So much transformation
happened, I'm not the same
person. Yet for some, two weeks
is mostly office work, a bit of
Netflix, a weekend of rest or
party. Nothing changed, there was
no presence, no questions or
reflection. Life fly by for most
people. It's by design, waiting
for something better to happen,
waiting for the next vacation.

When you practice presence,
everything slows down to a
halt. So much time is freed.
It's actually difficult to
sustain, and I alienate myself
from the other who live their
life quickly. It's similar to
when you travel for a year, and
then you come back home and
nothing has changed at home.
You've been completely
transformed by your experience,
but everything else is the same.  

The psychedelic experiences also
do that to me. So much happens in
such a small amount of time.

Bending reality.

Dreams are similar, when I am
solid in my dream practice, I not
only have the day of experience,
but a lifetime of experience in
my dreams. I like that.

This morning, I'd like to share
that extra time with someone.
Someone who wants to come
explore reality with me for a
while.