Under the blooming cherry tree,
we received our friends with
the konro grill and a
fire in the wheel barrel. This
concluded quite the weekend of
festivities.

Friday night of Karate, then
magic mushroom, mdma and
improv electronic music until the early
hours of the morning. Saturday,
mescal and coca, tattoo and
music. Sunday of friends and food
on the patio.

Thursday I heard stories about my
ex-lover who has really moved on,
it saddened me a bit. Then
Saturday I heard that she
mentioned me and wanting to party
at my place again. That made me
spin for a moment.

Today I don't know.

I can't help to see how perfect
of a mind practice this is
all. So much unknown directly
related to my self-love. I
want to cultivate a self-love
that is not affected by
external events. A solid internal
foundation, me and myself are
good, whatever happens on the
outside is just extras. If
nothing is happening, I'm still
good with myself. I don't want to
depend on someone's else love to
justify my existence anymore. 

The Friday night mushroom was a
good test. I worried for a moment
that my emotional body was too
weak to handle the psychedelic,
but it was all good.

Psychedelic and synth music
perfectly matches. I had a
minimal setup, the Mopho
connected to the Avalanche Run
effect pedal, with an added extra
Electro Faustus 101 as a sound
input to the synth. That was just
the perfect mix, so I could loose
myself in sound creation and
hallucination. My friend had his
Hydrasynth, pushing a crazy mix
of sound effects, it was such a
trip.