On entanglement

This morning I dreamed about my
ex. I was squatting and she was
connecting to my body in a
certain way. I smelled her neck
and it was someone's else
smell. It woke me up.

Although that might simply be
discarded as a dream, it felt
different and closer to an out of
body experience. I started to
reflect on how entanglement with
another person happens on many
levels.

I felt this morning that my
energy body, or whatever is
traveling when I am in an out of
body experience, went to visit
her. There is this habit, this
connection that has been
cultivated over a period of time,
and although we don't have any
physical contact, there is still
a connection. It's not only an
emotional and mental process, but
also an energetic and spiritual
one. 

Entanglement happens when there
are samskaras created with
someone else. A co-creation is
born and that create a bondage
between the two.

In order to dis-entangle there
is not only an emotional process
but other ritual and tool could
be used. It's important to
realize that these connections
span many layers of our being,
therefore the process of
dis-entanglement will need
a variety of practices.

You might also want to
dis-entangle part of the relation
and leave some part connected.
There might be a desire to remove
the emotional connection, yet a
creative or spiritual connection
might be important. 

Spiritual entanglement

This is an often dis-regarded
type of connection and attraction
between people. How can someone
be spiritually attracted to
someone else?

The way I met my yoga teacher was
really strange. I was working at
the corner store, and became
infatuated with one of the
client. I started hanging out
with her, and she invited me to a
movie she was presenting.

I went there, and when I left I
saw a small ad for yoga for kids
in the street. For some reason it
caught my attention and I ended
up going there. This is where I
met with my yoga teacher, which
has influenced my life
completely.

As I continued this relation with
my teacher, the attraction to the
client slowly went away. There
was a use for that attraction
which brought me to my teacher.

This is a weird example of
spiritual attraction, but I've
seen it happen again and
again. We are often attracted to
what will make use evolve. And
sometime a relation will end when
the healing or the liberation has
happened. Even if the emotional
body or the physical body is
still attached to a relation.

Understanding the spiritual
entanglement and dis-entanglement
helps making sense of some of
these movements that seems to not
make sense. 

Subtle energy tools

Cedar bath, smudging, using some
sort of crystals, tobacco,  all
these tools that are use for
purifying can help clearing
residual energy connections. They
might even help cutting a
connection, but if the mind and
the emotional body are still
strongly connected, these tools
won't completely do the work.

The energy goes where the mind
goes. Stopping the mind to go
back to what you want to let go
of is therefor the first step in
this process.

Mind and practices

The best way to stop thinking
about something is to attach a
practice to it. Every time I
think of X I do Y. I find it very
effective, and a good reminder
for my own practice.

Right now I am doing a mantra
practice, so everything I think
about a person I don't want to
think about, I recite my mantra a
few times. Since I'm thinking a
lot about that person, I end up
singing that mantra a lot.

This can also be used for
addiction, or intrusive thoughts,
or any habits you want to change. 

The goal is to become aware of
the moment the though emerge. At
first it might take a while to
realize it, the though has become
an image, an emotions, and is
solidifying as a real
experience. But with practice of
awareness, you can nip it in the
bud. The though is just arising
in the mind, and right away, a
conscious decision is made to
focus on a practice. I offer back
that though without anger,
without tension, with a gentle
compassion toward what I want to
let go. 

Emotional weight

The emotional entanglement is
more about the intensity of the
emotions than the type of
emotions. If you really love
someone or really hate someone,
the connection is as strong. In a
separation it's easy to move from
sadness to anger.

What works the best is to bring
the emotion to a compassionate
view of the past. Thanking what
has been, with a restful
smile. Diminishing the intensity
of the emotional distortion,
creating less 'waves'. 

It's really simple to flip from
one extreme of love to an extreme
of hate, as the emotional
intensity is similar. It is
harder to reduce the intensity,
which takes time and practice. 

Grieving

Emotional grieving has to happen
to release the past. If the
emotions aren't acknowledged and
'digested' the samskaras are
still planted in the chakras and
therefor will re-grow in the next
opportunity. If I simply try to
escape into another adventure, I
put aside the healing process for
later. It works for a while, but
at one point the burden become
heavier and heavier.

I find that psychedelic tends to
trigger the grieving process. It
opens the door for the undigested
emotions to come to the surface,
enabling me to test where I am at
in a process. Having a regular
ceremony with psychedelic helps
me to clear what needs to be
moved.

But a lot of activity could bring
about the undigested emotions to
the surface. Meditation,
reflection, therapy, will all
help in this process.

Symmetry

It's also not a symmetrical
process. I remember with a
previous relationship, my ex
cheated on me with my friend. For
me it was a clear cut, lets move
on type of move, which we
did. But then for months I was
still feeling hurt, although
mentally and emotionally I was
over. I realized many years
later, that she was still angry
at me for not having given her
another chance, and not staying
as her friend. Her emotional
turmoil kept a connection going.

If a connection is lingering
it's important to realize that it
might not be coming from one side
only. It's important to realize
what is mine and what is not
mine. Even simply questioning,
"are these emotions mine", re-frame
the relation to your sensations.