(December 18th, 2024)

Today was something. Everyday feels
different to me, even if only slightly.
The memories of yesterday and the day
before just being out of reach of 
clean recollection, leading to a 
denial of the reality of yesterday.

I spent a good portion of today too
depressed to get out of bed, and then
the couch. Argued with my mom a bit
as I wouldn't tell her what was 
wrong with me. 

I just felt hopeless, living in the
past instead of the present so
plainly laid before me. I am greedy
in that regard, I cannot live 
without a constant stream of 
socialization. Didn't get much
done today, but I think that's
alright. Nothing very important 
or time sensitive was missed today.

Today I got a cat. It chose me 
while I was at the shelter. Went
right up to me, sat on my lap 
and just stayed there. He is 
sitting on my lap as I type this
out. He is a pitch black cat that
is almost impossible to see at
night. I named him Lucky accordingly.
He is a little goofball, cannot
stand to be alone. He is very
verbal about this fact. 

Everything after 17:00 was this cat.
Getting him used to my room, then
getting him used to the dogs, that 
sort of thing. There was another cat
at the shelter, very clingy. I would've
loved to take him but my mom said no.
They were the size of three of our 
dogs combined. He sat on my lap, quite 
literally tried to merge with my thigh.
Whenever I tried to get up, he moved to
the leg that wasn't up yet and sat on it.
They eventually moved though.

I hope tomorrow is better, I have something
to keep me going now. Purpose so to say.

I'm going to be a cat mom for a good 15%
of my life now, this is going to be fun.

Goodnight SDF
-may