that animal that i did see
september 10th, 2000

good god. i had forgotten what it was like to be busy. truly busy, where 
everything in your life becomes ordered by priority, and projects and 
other works sit in a corner somewhere and collect dust for a while. yipes.

erin and i went to look at stars tonight. there was an open house for the 
astronomy observatory, so erin came up to visit me and we treked up to 
campus, starfish in tow, and listened as the great expansion of space was 
explained to us, and telescopes were pointed to vega and ring nebulas and 
the face of the moon. (did you realize that galaxies are arranged in this 
bubble-like pattern? there are these immense walls of galaxies flattened 
to the sides? once long ago, i came up with this theory that really we 
were living on the molecules in the DNA of something much greater...and 
things like this just get me thinking about this again.) we had dinner at 
the dillworth's diner in jonesborough (good food and wonderous 
conversation) and walked around my campus, showing off the little places 
i'd found, trying to keep from getting lost. it was a pretty wonderful 
evening.

and a pretty wonderful week. i've collected snippets in my notebook from 
here and there that i will share with you.

well, i've gotten two compliments on my buttons, and no one's tied me to a 
stake yet, so i think we're okay. it's so funny - my bumper stickers and 
these buttons have both been a big step for me - specifying exactly what i 
do and do not believe in to the world, highlighting my politics. i force 
myself into a position of defending my beliefs, and it's awkward for me, 
because in spite of my ostentatious demeanor, i've always left the core of 
me very nebulous to basser-bys in order to avoid conflict. now, i'm 
wearing the perfect ammunition for such confrontation. odd for me, but 
very nice.

i'm finally beginning to learn my way around campus. i don't get nearly as 
lost as i used to. every once in a while i get turned around and 
disoriented, and i still have no idea what half of the buildings on campus 
are used for, but i'm sure i'll learn before it's all over. i often wish 
all of my MTSU friends could be magically transplanted to this campus, 
because there are so many wonderous places to hide and play, and the 
mountains loom like gentle, protective guardians overhead. there's this 
little clump of bush-like trees with benches and tunnels which is 
absolutely amazing. you can squeeze in there and hide from the rest of the 
world - it's wonderful, like a magic secret garden. and the more deviant 
side of me would love to steal someone away beneath there for a few hours. 
;)

i got asked out the other day. this guy who sits next to me in astronomy 
class decided to ask me twenty questions and said that perhaps we could 
get together and do something sometime. and when he asked me if i had a 
boyfriend, i had to stop and think about it for a moment. and when he 
asked me if i was looking for one, i answered, "not really." none of these 
people are what i'm looking for. i know *exactly* what i want, and this 
isn't it, so why waste my time?

i did get all sex-kittened out the other day, though. i wore my love-me 
dress and my checkered tights - all i was missing were my old sex-goddess 
boots and it would have been perfect. Dust is probably the only person who 
still remembers those boots (you can see a picture of them here.) i loved 
those boots. i felt like the queen of the universe when i wore them. like 
little black patent leather crowns for my feet.

and then i came down with the Cold-From-Hell(tm) and i didn't really feel 
like writing much of anything for the rest of the week.

i did, however, come up with a little list, that i shall leave you with.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE REALLY A MOTHER WHEN:

you associate beethoven's 9th symphony 2nd movement with the baby 
shakespeare video as opposed to clockwork orange

you get songs from zoboomafoo stuck in your head

you continually forget that there are particles of food sticking to your 
clothing

you can't remember the last time you took a bath by yourself

your house becomes an obstacle course of toys, books, and cooking utensils

you've perfected the art of typing with one hand

you point out kitties, horsies, and firetrucks, even when your baby isn't 
around

your voice has been mysteriously raised several levels in pitch

hair-pulling, face-slapping, stomach-kicking, and arm-stretching doesn't 
bother you as much anymore

you start getting the "mommy biceps"

you've thought of applying for a job at the local playground as a human 
jungle gym

you realize that humans are capable of moving at the speed of light if 
needed

you start conversing with complete strangers in doctors' offices because 
your child has decided to start handing them all of the magazines off the 
rack

your breasts are no longer erotic instruments used for the act of 
seduction; they are instead the equivalent of feeding troughs and 
handlebars

i'm sure i could think of more, but i really need to get on my homework 
and get to sleep sometime soon. but when you get a chance, check out 
crushstar's diary. i just finished designing it. :) sweet dreams, 
everyone.