el fin de semana
june 19th, 2000

my weekend has been brimming with oddness.

friday morning, i woke up from some wonderous dreams of my matthew-boy, 
totally excited because we had planned this wonderful 
let's-get-all-dressed-up-and-do-something-really-neat for friday night, 
and my mother had even volunteered to watch my little one so we would have 
been able to sneak into a movie or something equally as cool which is 
infinitely difficult when you have a nine-month-old who's maximum 
attention span is fifteen minutes. so my mum went out to lunch, and i 
showered, and primped, and did my hair, and decked myself out in hat and 
gloves and pothole stockings - i felt fabulous. i was playing with my 
starfish while simultaneously having IM conversations, when my grandfather 
knocked on the door and told me that his doctor had called and told him he 
was going to have to be put in the hospital this afternoon for kidney 
failure. being as such, i cancelled my plans, sadly un-decked myself, and 
waited for my mother to come home to give her the news. we went to see my 
grandfather, who seemed to be doing fine, and "kidney failure" was 
immediately diminished to "problem with the kidneys." i'm still not sure 
where the miscommunication actually happened.

saturday, my mother told me that since i was unable to see matthew the 
previous night, she would be more than happy to watch Aisling while i 
stopped by to see him on my way back from the hospital (since i went to 
visit my grandfather that afternoon) and so, i skidded off towards johnson 
city (45 minutes away, where my grandfather is being hospitalized, and 
also where matthew lives) happy as a lark, stopping by a gas station to 
fill up my tank and purchase gatorade and finding 75 cent dream bracelets 
which are supposed to make your wishes come true...and when i arrived at 
the hospital, my grandmother told me that i wouldn't be able to see 
matthew after all since she had decided to not spend the night at the 
hospital and needed me to drive her home. (i decided instead to drive her 
home, and then drive back to johnson city to spend some time with matthew, 
since it would be another week before i'd be able to see him.)

saturday night more than made up for any previous frustrations and 
roadblocks. matthew and i were able to have some true alone-time for a 
change, and it was simply...wonderful. storms came in late in the evening, 
too, so we got to stand outside in the rain and watch the lightning come 
down...and we got to play with transformers and watch the young ones and 
all sorts of neat stuff like that. so...yeah. needless to say, it was a 
pretty amazing evening.

this morning (being sunday, though perhaps not technically as it is after 
midnight) i woke up sore and sleepy and sniffly and icky-ish, but the 
sluggishness wore off throughout the day (for the most part.) i attempted 
some housecleaning, but for the most part i had a very introspective 
afternoon, writing letters-never-to-be-sent...it was extremely 
therapeutic. (Dust, of course, claims that i have a new life-changing 
revelation once a week...perhaps not so much anymore. my journals from my 
sophomore year of high school, however, so closely resemble my most recent 
journals that it is very frightening.)

and speaking of journals...i am making a new design for this one. i may 
actually change the url, since diaryland and my stylesheets do not seem to 
like eachother very much. i've also been reading through a lot of my old 
writing, and i'm thinking about publishing my old, old journals online, 
too...at any rate, i'll definitely be resurrecting the older entries...one 
day. when i get around to it. at any rate, when i change the url, i'll 
definitely leave a link here to follow it.

my grandfather is doing fine, by the way. they've pretty much determined 
that his problems were due to the medication he has been taking for his 
heart problems. they have a few more tests they need to do, but if 
everything else seems fine they'll simply change his medication and let 
him go from there. as a big sigh of relief passes through the ranks of my 
family.

for now i think i'm going to go tackle the chaos that is my room...