milestones
april 3rd, 2000

i just got something in the mail from "the dean's list" but when i first 
glanced at it, i thought it said "the death list." that about sums up my 
opinion of academia right there. at least at the moment.

it amazes me how babies tend to learn how to do everything all at once. as 
if cognitive switches just flip on and then you can see how everything 
clicks in their head. totally amazing. today, the starfish met me at the 
door when i came home from school, with the hugest smile, and then she 
outstretched her arms asking me to pick her up. and she held out her arms 
as a cue for me to grab her quite a few times this morning. it's amazing. 
bridges have been made in our communication levels. she's learning how to 
make me *really* understand.

and if that wasn't enough.

she was extra special cute this morning, making the greatest gurgling 
noises and blathering, grabbing my legs and pulling herself up, staring at 
me with expectant eyes, chasing me around on the floor. i was snuggling 
her, kissing her repeatedly on the cheek, and she reached both arms around 
my neck, hugged me, and then planted a big "kiss" on the side of my face. 
(she doesn't quite have the "kissing" part down - so it's more of a 
let-me-put-my-open-mouth-on-the-side-of-your-face thing.) at first i 
thought it was just a coincidence, so i waited a few minutes, and kissed 
her again, and she did the same thing. after a third time i was ultimately 
sure she had finally learned to "kiss," and it made me so extremely happy.

then, i was sitting on the couch, drinking a coke, watching her play, and 
she pulled herself up on my knees and said "mama." granted, i doubt she 
really knows that she needs to link those sounds to me yet, but there is 
nothing more incredible that having your child look you straight in the 
eyes and murmur those syllables that assign maternity to you forever.

all of this, and i woke up this morning just because, just out of the 
blue, to a quiet and dark house, with no crying, no fussing, just crickets 
outside singing into the small hours of the morning. she slept through the 
night. seven hours straight. at night. when she's supposed to.

i am a very, very happy mommy today. :)

i was thinking at some point about my childhood heroes, or perhaps simply 
characters i identified with as a child, and how those images must have 
totally shaped my life. punky brewster, pipi longstocking (hence my 
striped toe-socks *grin*), the little prince, rainbow brite, unico (has 
anyone seen this cartoon except me?), herself the elf (which honestly i 
don't remember very much about), mrs. brisby, the lady amalthea (from the 
last unicorn), and some others that i simply cannot think of at the 
moment. i invented this elaborate world in my head where all of these 
characters live, and i was the princess of this world, and i made strange 
little heart-stick-people who were the servants to my kingdom, and there 
were flying unicorns, and entire casts of characters i would create, 
sketch out, and then roleplay. and i would make all my friends do it, too. 
i remember running around pretending to be a leprechaun on the playground, 
and always having to find children younger than me to play with because 
the older children didn't want to play games of "let's pretend" anymore. i 
had a very, very intense imagination when i was young.

but now i think i'm going to take the remenants of that intense 
imagination and have a nice little afternoon nap. because my words are 
lacking this afternoon and that always annoys me.