and no one saw the carny go...

alice buckled up her imaginary boots, throwing the world over her left 
shoulder and took off for the carnival with charlie the wonderbird and the 
ever-present ring master.

the lights are something on nights like this. the entire world collapses 
in front of you in whirls of colour, the spinning wheel of neon watt 
compressed light bulbs in a constant twirl, igniting passerbys with the 
promise of everything your money can by, guess your age and shoe size, 
find a colour and a pocket, take a prize. these are the roadside 
carnivals, the parking lot kind, slightly bigger than the cotton candy 
county fairs that alice was so used to attending, back in the mountains. 
charlie, being young and not so full of grace, stumbled over to the bumber 
cars, where his eyes met with ones similar to his age yet softer and 
feminine, the girl-crazy child, and continues to play on the bumber cars 
the rest of the night, exchanging phone numbers with the girl and writing 
her name in lipstick on his forearm. dangling on the end of the 
conversation, alice and the ring master hung themselves off of various 
attractions until their sense of perception was quite dizzy and their 
hands refused to cooperate with their eyes anymore.

the fast rides, the dizzy rides, the twirly things, the ones that spin you 
so fast you squish the other into a puddle of orange juice, the ferris 
wheel and all of the sights you can see from the very top, from a bird's 
eye view, and the millions of carnies, dancing around, playing heavy metal 
vomit music at extreme decibels, making sure you are latched in and all 
inside and smile all sweetly and control the machines. around and around, 
upside down and inside out, alice in smiles, in giggles, decorated in 
infinite happiness, giving out a tremendous YAWP straightway through the 
middle for the world to listen to, aimed especially toward the vicinity of 
germany, where a certian jupiter girl was asking her to send one out, just 
for her, and the rest of the world, for her angel, for rain in her black 
lace, for alestar in her many various adventures across the ocean, for all 
of the faces she keeps in her heart and mine...and they say goodbye...

tomorrow, alice, you're leaving for home.

the man insisted on guessing the ring master's age, which alice found 
extremely amusing since she knew such a feat was possible, as all the 
members of her own personal carnival had found the fountain of youth long 
ago, and how is one who lives in neverland ever supposed to reveal their 
true age to the everyday passerby, carny or no? so, failing, he let alice 
choose whatever gift she wanted, and there, underneath all of the plastic 
picture postcards and the imitation elvis's, she spied pan's sword, in all 
of its infinite imaginary glory, glowing for her. with the sword at her 
side, she took down windmill giants and garbage can ogres, she defended 
the ring master with her life, she properly battered the blue meanies and 
was a threat to any pirate passing her way...it was time to take to the 
island and climb ashore. more rides, with her trusty blade by her side, 
upside down and inside out, with streams of memories pouring through that 
space between her ears...

of the mumbles boy and kim at the first one, running around the 
fairgrounds all day, bumping into the scarecrow later and all piling into 
the upside down ride, when pocket change fall off and hats become 
lost...and after which, alice first kissed the mumbles boy, and began 
another story...grumbling at the man with xray eyes who was making it rain 
so that they would no longer have to be there, he who had always hated 
fairs...the strange baptist they met in hardees right after...swinging 
around with the black coffee blues, who was skipping practice and doing 
something daring for once in his life, because she asked him too...flying 
up with mogwai, laughing and giggling and smiling at everything, so 
much...the mumbles boy, another time, and the riot girl, up in the sky, 
the riot girl with her fear of heights, the mumbles boy looking up "those 
screws look rather rusty, boy we sure are high up, it would be terrible if 
we fell..." cairbre and courtney and the ring master and alice running 
around, bumping into puck's best friend "sorry to hear you guys broke up" 
yeah well...the big one, the one away from home, the bush gardens one, 
with the carousels and skilifts and face paints, where alice retrieved her 
funny hat and wore it around on the tip of her nose, where roller coasters 
shook her silly and everything seemed to fall into place...sitting outside 
of the carnival with puck after graduation "alright, so why are we sitting 
here in the walmart parking lot? what exactly does the ring master have 
planned for me when i return home?" only to meet a million souls and a 
million worlds dashed together in one with balloon strings and candy and 
neat little toys...yes, fairs are the place for dreams, for believing, fpr 
being, and alice held all of these memories in her heart, deep inside, 
missing those she has not seen, and wishing that now, today, on this nine 
months, she could be holding her angel at the top of the ferris wheel, 
nestled into his arms, and showing him her half of heaven...but soon. it's 
never too late. and it only gets better.

so now it is off to the mountains. she packs up her things, slowly, 
folding her clothes between the few slices of sleep she's been rationed, 
takes inquistive the cat and holds him close, makes her bed and leaves the 
rest in disarray, promising to fix all on her return...because it's off to 
the mountains, and time to heal, time to bury herself in the land that she 
has fed herself on, wrapped herself up in a soft blanket of green. the 
tennessee thunderstorm kind.