date: Wed 11 Feb 2026 01:12:58 PM PST
subj: twins on the move 2x and difficulties
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It was less than a week ago our daughter started crawling. This
was a great thing. Before she was pretty frustrated; rolling
into a corner, then stuck there she would cry out for help. Now
she can get into the crawl position and go where she wants. She
is super super cute when she does this. At first her crawl
wasn't super coordinated but it didn't take long for her to get
better at it. She would lift her arms pretty high compared to
her brother, and each hand would descend to the floor in a
rapid motion almost like a robot. She did this for a few days,
but as she continued crawling her movement became more and more
coordinated. Now she follows her brother around and whatever he
is getting into she is also interested in. Like pushing the
highchair, or attempted to climb into the side table. Whatever
it is, she is now empowered to investigate what she will, and
that seems to make her super happy. 

Mom was vacuuming the house. The vacuum is an interesting machine
to our babies. Its bright light, its loud noise, the long cord.
Its all a wonder. As mom vacuums our son follows her around as
if he is helping. Mom says to our son, "you want to help mama?"
As he crawls his fastest to keep up with her, He grabs the cord,
and holds on to it. The other day our son and I took a walk, but
mom and daughter decided to stay home vacuum. Mom told me how
our daughter was a big helper, holding the cord, not putting it
in her mouth, and following her around everywhere. It sound like
the cutest thing. 


Each of our babies is now teaching the other. I think our
daughter watched her brother crawl around, and seeing him helped
her understand how to get into the position of crawling. Her
time getting on her hands and knees then rocking back and forth
was very short compared to how long our son spent rocking back
and forth, and various positions like downward dog. Our daughter
skipped all that stuff and figured out how to pull herself
forward a little, then two days later she was crawling. Our
daughter is now sitting up on her own, although she hasn't
figured out once sitting its best not to just decide to trust
fall backwards. Her arms are not behind her yet to catch
herself. She figured this out just a couple days ago. She is
learning quickly. 

Although our son is usually in his own world not caring much
about anything that isn't his interest, he may learn from his
sister how to sit up. We'll have to see if he can sit still long
enough when his sister decides she wants to sit up. 

Both of our babies are now crawling around. It took them nine
months to figure it all out. For awhile I thought maybe our
babies were behind. That feeling and idea is drilled into a new
parents head due to every doctor appointment ranking children on
a scale amongst all other children in the world or region. This
even includes developmental therapist. How they eat, if they
clap their toys or hands together, if they can sit up on their
own, every aspect. Parents can't just enjoy their time with
their babies because they are pushing them along to meet the
goals of pediatricians, and other institutions with all their
agendas and metrics of progress. Productivity has become
pervasive idea that invades the zeitgeist. 


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The difficulty:
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Babies are difficult, and multiples are even more so. The
intensity encompassing most aspects of our lives. Care-taking,
working, commuting, cooking, cleaning, sleeping (if you can),
self care.  It all becomes a juggling act. What we once did, we
don't do any more, who we thought we were is lost to the needs
of our children. Our bonding activities as a couple have
evaporated to the needs and struggles for energy in care of our
babies. I can look to my silly things I used to enjoy and see
they are just items for me to care for, and I already have three
people and a cat to care for, not to mention myself. Grasping at
a personal level starts to happen. Thinking about one's self
causes more suffering as one imagines a factor of loss of self.
Its part of a process most people go through as a parent, and
its a fueled by stress and it creates a feedback to promote more
grasping at self with the idea of loss of self. DO NOT FORGET:
these are growing pains, and growing pains hurt. Let go of
oneself and hold onto the relationship that created those
babies. The parents relationship with each other is the greatest
and most essential part to giving children a chance in life and
society.  Give them a chance to see love, and they might seek it
themselves. Let them see the sacrifice for family and spouse, 
they may think those things are normal. Let them wittiness
fidelity, they may understand cooperation. Let them see giving,
and they might find taking isn't what makes a family and
society, or create happiness. 

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There is no prize or trophy at the end of all of it. Hindsight
seems like it can be used, but its not true. There is the halls
of shame we'll visit for giving up, always seeking forgiveness.
Its the time we have now to experience and if we are lucky find
moments of joy in all of it, even the growing pains, and maybe
just being part of it all for them will be the keys to joy and
wonder.