@@@ >-----------------------------------------< @@@@@ | date: Thu 17 Sep 2026 12:27:44 PM PDT | @@@@@@ | subj: daycare disease factory | @@@@@@ | auth: bbsing | @@@@@ | doc#: 000094 ------------------------ | @@@ >-----------------------------------------< ----------------------------------------------------------------- Gots to write this as fast as possible. between naps and doctor appointment. ----------------------------------------------------------------- The daycare disease factory is where we go to get our immunity. We have to earn it the hard way through snots, poor sleep, clogged up noses, sinus infections, fevers, caughing at night, and general misory. I really didn't know how good I had it before, but that is how it often goes when you trade pastures. Whenever the kids step into the daycare, they return with some disease. We thought we were solving a basic problem with our nanny as wonderful as she was, she injured herself and presented a reliablity problem. She had to take some time off and when she takes time off, we have to take time off, or find another childcare provider. Where we live that isn't an easy thing for us, and we don't have what others call "A village." We have mom and dad also known as us, that's it. No limitless financial runway, no no no, we are as my wife says on the edge, just like a lot of families out there. Just so happens none of them live near us. So we made the crazy decision to sign up for daycare, and we got on lists, got to the top of lists, and since we have twins, always get bumped down the list, but we found a place that would take us, and its a bit of a disease factory. At the disease factory, our children get their diseases return from daycare, then we love our children kiss their beautiful little faces, and cuddle them as often as they let us, which by the way is more often, and then us parents get the diseases. Its a bit of a maddening process, because the kids get sick, then they get a little fever, and the daycare says ... your kids are sick come pick them up right now! I immediately tell work I've gots to go due to a sick child, and I go pick up the kids. Sure they aren't feeling that well, but I have no problem caring for them. They are easy enough to care for when they are not feeling well, sure its a little bit more work, but not that far out of the norm. They fuss a bit more than normal and lay around, but its not a problem, so why can't the daycare do it is what's in my mind. Us parents have to work. We just have to because everything in the state we live in is super expensive, but the daycare says pay us, but your child is banned for 48 hours. My mind says holly shit! Banned! You assholes! Daycare has their rules, and we pay them while they refuse to watch our children. The other week, they said we are closing due to Hand Foot Mouth Disease breakout at our facility, we'll let you know when we can care for your children, by the way, we decided to reduce your bill due to not providing services, wait .. wait .. that was what I thought they should do! Nope they just keep the $$$, and we have to go find another care provider, and pay that one too! Fuckers pops up in my mind sometimes when I think about it. My mind is addicted to thinking about it. I certainly don't remember crap like this growing up. You were dropped off, and that was it. There weren't not cell phones, sms text messaging, emails to call a person to come get their child, nope you were there until the end of the damn day. If a fire broke out at daycare, as a child you still were there until the end of the day, probably hovering around the burnt rubble. Mom or Dad were shocked at your wildest day ever, but you had the day all day sick or not. My co-workers said "they are just trying to protect the kids." I told him, "No they aren't, my kids got sick from daycare, and now I'm sick too. They just don't want to deal with little people not feeling well because they are babies." --------------------- As I written before, you never know how things are going to turn out until you try, and sometimes find out the hard way, but I suppose there is more to learn on this daycare thing. --------------------- Banned for 48 hours we argue about childcare and what to do. Its an ugly process we haven't mastered well. At work we both feel the stakes are high, and childcare reliability is a factor, and since we both used our leave benefits, we are demoted a bit in the eyes of performance review. At least that's how it feels in our minds. We know where we work, the subtle unsaid rules, nothing like lies they speak in all team meetings and training material. Its really not a joke, you must be reliable and perform or you will be given an "opportunity" elsewhere. So we plan to travel to work with the kids and take them to backup care. A risk for us, because they might tell us "come get your sick child." We don't know how they will be in the morning, maybe fine, maybe not. My frustration at this process, is constant randomness of problems, and how most things half done, with new things to do all the time, causes an anger to well up inside of me, and there is little control or release. I can't stand the anger, and I feel like an evil person, but in the high emotional state of it all, with all its ugliness there seems little to dowse its inferno. Sometimes it starts early in the day set off by some idiotic thing at work. That part of my mind thinking of idiotic idiots even though its just work being stupid work as it has been for a long time. Constantly degrading year over year into a realm of fuckerdumb, but knowing we have to endure like everyone else without an option, and by the way, most days we are just lucky, really lucky we have work. But like the rest of the humans, there is at times a void of gratitude, specially when I'm out of energy in some way. At work and at home my wife and I do our best to do a good job. She gets angry too, then we are ugly to each other, mostly me ugly to others. I hope we find a way to settle down, and feel less like the end is always here and have little hope. Lately I've be saying to myself 'We are half way through the hard part for now. One point five years to go. We got through the last 1.5 years.' Is that all it is? Always kicking the can down the road? ------- The morning starts early, I get everything ready, but it doesn't matter. I get on the daily work call even though I'm on PTO, because all the activities I'm working on at work need to be done in the month of October, which means there is no real quitting or having a day off. Not even on the weekends, those are the times to make changes so business doesn't feel it during the week. So as I'm on the call in the kitchen, the kids at my feet crying about wanting to be held because they are hungry, the cat constantly hovering around to get fed a specific meal, operating my computer while cooking breakfast, then my wife calls. It seems this is the tone of the day, but it won't be, but it feels like that many days, just this never ever ending pile of more more more from us, and we ain't getting more given to us. Its our season to give give give. Same thing is happening to my wife. A call from the daycare snafu-ed my brilliant plan for us both to go to work instead of taking a sick day to stay home with our children, almost worked. Again A daycare called "come get your kid." It happened two hours too soon. I had to send out a meeting notice saying I have to leave early, again, then actually leave work, pick up the kids, but my wife was left behind because she had to work later. She had to take the bus home which is a long wait and ride. She woke up about 4 AM, and got home 7:15 PM. We put the kids to bed at 7:30 PM, then she went in the bedroom to try and have a few moments to herself before she turned over with lights out at 8:30 PM. Meanwhile I'm still up working trying to start long running processes on servers to get them completed. I watched the ultra bright screen until 9:30 PM when I decided I had to quit the day. ------------------------------------- The good news today I stayed home from work to take care of kids. Sure they are a little sick but they are on the mends because they are 1.5 years old, and their bodies and chromosomes are perfect right now. They bounce back, and with a good meal in their little bellies they power up like bright lamps that shine through the night. They are doing a lot better than yesterday. I've noticed lately they are starting to understand us more, and listen to us. At times they ignore us, but they know if one of their parents moves in their direction, they better stop horsing around. The other day our son couldn't keep his hands of mom's stereo. His mom told him no and he heard her, but he knew she wasn't in a position to deal with him. As soon as I walked towards him, he dove on to a pillow on the ground, and cried out as if he was hurt. Is it evil dad? Dad who takes his toys, or pins him down for timeout. Gosh I really don't like being that guy, but I have to teach them to listen to us, there will be times when it really helps them. Our daughter says Uh OH, and hands stuff to mom and dad. She sees the dirty clothes and picks them up, and hands them to me. Then all is perfect in her world again. She is actually helping out!, she is a little helper. Our son saw her help, and heard me tell her "You are a little helper. Good job! :). " with a smile. He sees a burp cloth on the ground, grabs it, and hands it to me. These babes are really adorable little people. At the park today, I told them lets stick together, and they kinda did. As my son wanders off, I tell my daughter, "Come on lets go get your brother." she smiles, and walks off in his direction. We eventually catch up with him at the fountain. She wants to walk further than the fountain, I tell her "Not to far." She looks at me, smiles, and then finds some rocks in the grass to pick up, brings me one of them for me to hold. She is pretty funny on our strolls or walks she has to have something to hold in her hands. Usually its the ball, but it can be the sippy cup, a rock, a DVD to return to the library. Just about anything as long as its something. They really are getting cute, and now that they are a bit more aware of mom, dad, and each other (brother and sister), they are starting to become more fun. In the mornings loading up in the car for daycare, they want their blankets put over the top of them just under their chin. My son smiles when I put the blanket on him. He'll take his arms out, but he wants to have it put all the way up under his chin. My daughter wants hers just under her arms. Then I give them their sippy cup full of milk. My daughter smiles at me every time. I laugh and say "OK we all got our drinks (milks for babes, black coffee for dad), lets go! They never finish their milks but they like to sip them during the ride. Cuddling while watching their favorite movie Cars. They actually want to sit next to us, or on our laps, or something. They are still pretty particular about making sure they choose how they've been configured to sit on our laps, but this is a new side of them, and its really fun to see. It makes them more like little people who are individuals. Cars the movie is our child's favorite movie. In the beginning the dreams one has of how they are going to interact with their children, and never watch movies, only read books, somehow entertain them, rapidly vanishes. I tried, I read to the babes, maybe its too early for that. When I ready to them they just grab and pull the book. If I have a words only book and try to read it to them, they want that book. They want to be doing what parents do, and what parents are doing with. Movies for them is simple, parents watch screen, we watch screen. Screen is amazing. Mack is funny, Lightening McQueen is funny. Its fun to see our children dance to the music, and get excited for their favorite parts on the film. My son really likes Mack and the faces he makes on the highway. So much for ideals, reality governs these things, maybe we'll get closer to those ideals at the right time. EOF 94