@@      >-----------------------------------------<
  @@@        | date: Sun 06 Sep 2026 08:40:59 PM PDT | 
 @@@         | subj: every night the same as the last| 
 @@@         | auth: bbsing                          | 
  @@@        | doc#: 000001 ------------------------ | 
    @@      >-----------------------------------------<

Just about every night its the same as the last night. My mind
has these little latches in key holes that must be turned. Click
click clack click the latches move. Tonight I only thought about
it, but then I again had to turn the latches. It simply starts
with me grabbing my computer. This old Dell laptop 3148, a flip
book, with an uptime of 141 days. I flip it open, and the
console appears. I initiate the sequence to turn the latches
satisfying the addiction. ssh rasberrypi, ctrl b 0. The system
responds sending me to the tmux session with my floppy disk. I
turn the latch again, vim doc.000001. I enter some place in my
mind with a sequence of thoughts I watch apearing on the screen
as I type out each word said in my mind. A pretty slow process
as watch it unfold. Night after night something very similar
happens. A command sequence then some rapid scroll of text on
the screen. Sometimes its an ssh -t sdf.org lynx
gopher://floodgap.com. No matter its always a brief entry into
this world of white text on a black screen. 


There now its out of me, my thoughts are out in to the systems.
I struggle a bit but addictions are strange, should upload the
file therebye my thoughts on the gophers for myself to read
again for the forth time? Seeing it on the gopher space seems
to  also be my addiction.

Eventhough tonight I'm sick with influenza or something. My
children brought it home from daycare, and I had to care for him
throwing up Friday. My skin feels cold, and I have the chills,
the aches in my head and body pulse with each breath. I hope my
sickiness passes quickly. But still I persist with my addiction.
My wife just before falling asleep says "You're computing!"
"Yeah just for a bit." I tell her. If I can just get this out
then I'll stop thinking about it. I find my thoughts not types,
or different than those that enter the screen. I like them
better before I slow down and write them, because when I go back
to read them they seem so boring.  

Like my daughter who can't sit still seem to not have something
to do. This last little bits of energy often times trickling on
with the pain or not, until it was way past the time to get good
sleep. 

I hope you can conquer your addiction to the screen. I haven't
been able to, and that is a strange pain in me.