Personal time and projects

September 10th 2024
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Yesterday, despite having barely slept, ending up being a pretty fun
day. Me and my partner Tor went to go write and read and at a park we
hadn't been to before, one that had just recently re-opened, and it
was really gorgeous: some actual wetland interleaved with raised paths
and spaces with benches, playground equipment, and even (can you
actually believe this is portland?) bathrooms!

We took a picnic table in the shade surrounded by green. So surrounded
by green a fawn ran out if it and to a foot away from the table and
the fawn and I stared at each other equally surprised before it seemed
to register to them that they'd made a wrong turn and scrambled off
like the awkward baby they were.

Later Tor spotted the fawn laying down in tall grasses waiting for
mom, who we saw leading them off like an hour later. Deermom saw us
and wasn't spooked by it she just quietly walked by us at a respectful
distance.

It was very cute.

I'm pretty sure I heard one of the beavers that live in that park,
too, because I heard the noise of wood being cut and broken but it
didn't sound anything like a hand saw and definitely not anything
powered.

When I got home, though, I ended up spending more time picking away at
class prep for the year and I realized that, well, some of that time
wasn't well spent.

I'm not saying that I think working on these classes isn't a good idea
I just think pre-planning everything to the level I'm trying to isn't
actually a good use of my time and energy, especially not when I'm
still working at 20:00.

I just get into this place where it's like "this is what I should be
working on" and so I feel stuck and get locked into a certain kind of
work even if what would be best for everyone is if I just let myself
do other things, y'know?

Like I desperately want to do a good job but I think I do my best when
I let myself be a little more loose and responsive and overprepare
less. I have a tendency to overthink lecturing if I let myself but
I've given lectures off the top of my head that land perfectly.

Really I'm talking myself into writing more fun and interesting code
as my prep so I have more interesting things to show them.

Speaking of interesting things I'm picking up my old copy of Let Over
Lambda again now that I think I can appreciate it better than I did
years ago, especially the chapter on shallow embedding a forth into
common lisp. I first read this book when I was still learning to code
and I've held onto it because while I got some stuff out of it I could
tell I'd appreciate a lot more from it one day.

I think that's all I have to say right now. I'm going to be getting
ready for the term that starts in....13 days oh my god.

The weather is finally turning to fall and the heat is draining out of
the buildings and the concrete. The air smells right.