The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for April 4 to 10, 1993. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. No passes accepted for this engagement. --:Dave === I can make ANY cat go "woof". All you need is some gasoline and a match! --Russell W. Laughlin That which does not kill me had better be able to run away damn fast. --Unknown Hatred is not a family value. --Unknown He who laughs, lasts. --Unknown Drive nail here [*] for new monitor. --Unknown Coming up next: How do Americans spend all the time that modern technology saves them? --Couch potato family's TV, Kirk Anderson cartoon Politics: n. [Poly "many" + tics "blood-sucking parasites"] --Unknown === The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for April 11 to 17, 1993. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. No purchase necessary. --:Dave === I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be... Ooooh, donuts... --Unknown Earth: A magnet you can stick a refrigerator on. --Unknown I thought I had a back-up, but she refused to type it in again. --Unknown Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine... Which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. --"Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey It's a fact: You can get blood from a stone. You just have to throw it hard enough. --Kids in the Hall You know you could stand a little brushing up in the area of culinary arts if you find yourself using a smoke alarm as an oven timer. --Jordan Montgomery Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Let the machine get it. --Unknown === The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for April 18 to 24, 1993. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. Use only in well-ventilated area. --:Dave === OS/2 for PS/2 -- Half an operating system for half a computer. --Unknown LISP is a recursive language -- first you curse, then you recurse. --Unknown My life is based on a true story. --Unknown Isn't this a great hotel? The towels are so nice and fluffy -- the last time I was here, I could hardly get my suitcase closed! --Overheard by James Randi Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. --Unknown Reality is what refuses to go away when I stop believing in it. --Unknown You'll go to Heck if you don't believe in Gosh. --Unknown === The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for April 25 to May 1, 1993. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. Keep away from fire or flame. --:Dave === It is better to write for yourself and not have a public than to write for the public and not have a self. --Unknown Power corrupts -- isn't that what it's for? --Unknown Hasty climbers have sudden falls. --Italian proverb When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. --George Bernard Shaw Hello... Incontinence Hotline... Can you hold? --Unknown Be not surprised if thou findest thyself in possession of unexpected wealth. Allah will provide an unexpected use for it. --James J. Roche There's always free cheese in a mousetrap. --Unknown