The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for April 5 to 11, 1992. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. Dedicated to Isaac Asimov and Sam Kinison. --:Dave === Hydrogen: a light, colorless, odorless gas that, given enough time, turns into people. --Unknown I used to have Etch-A-Sketch drawing software on my Mac. I finally took it off when I tired of having to refresh the screen by picking up the monitor and shaking it vigorously. --Pam Fremon Develop your eccentricities while you're young. That way, when you are old, people won't think you're going gaga. --David Ogilvy The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. --Mark Twain After having her legs waxed, Marlene liked to watch rainwater puddle up on them. --Geof Brooks cartoon Between two evils, choose neither; between two goods, choose both. --Tryon Edwards He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determine the end. --Harry Emerson Fosdick === The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for April 12 to 18, 1992. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. As seen on monitor. --:Dave === Every advance in civilization has been denounced as unnatural while it was recent. --Bertrand Russell I have great faith in fools -- self-confidence my friends call it. --Edgar Allan Poe Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbors. --Ambrose Bierce I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike. --Emile Henry Gauvreau I've always said, that's one of our biggest problems: not enough of our voters are committed... Too many of 'em running around loose. --Senator, "Shoe" strip by Jeff MacNelly Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it. --George Bernard Shaw How about a half-Betazoid/half-Vulcan in the [Star Trek: Deep Space Nine] crew. He/she constantly senses emotions and then immediately stifles them. "I feel, uh, nothing. I feel absolutely nothing at all. Nothing. I feel nothing at all." --John Mayo === The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for April 19 to 25, 1992. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. It's a fat-free natural energy source. --:Dave === Whoa! Watch where that thing lands -- we'll probably need it. --Surgeon during operation, "The Far Side" cartoon by Gary Larson A pig bought on credit is forever grunting. --Spanish proverb I quit, boss. I'm sick and tired of bein' at everyone's disposal. --Plumber, "The Quigmans" cartoon by Buddy Hickerson Rule #137: Never, ever, snarf Absolut. Ever. --Jeff Harrell I am against on-screen sex. It takes too long for all those teeny-tiny squares from the wire mesh to fade away. --Esther Friesner Great occasions do not make heroes or cowards; they simply unveil them to the eyes of men. --Bishop Westcott No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut. --Channing Pollock === The following are the "Rare Gems (sm)" selections for April 26 to May 2, 1992. "Rare Gems" is a service mark (sm) of Rare Breed Noninc. and David Alan Wright. Compilation copyright 1992 by same. All Wright's rights reserved. These collections may be distributed freely as long as this notice is retained. One size gives fits to all. --:Dave === I never give them hell; I just tell them the truth and they think it is hell. --Harry S Truman I know of no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their stringent execution. --Ulysses S. Grant Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants. --Walter Winchell A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. --H.L. Mencken Out here in the real world Orwell's boot stamping on a human face forever turned into a boot tripping on its own untied lace, forever. --James D. Macdonald The most dangerous thing in the world is to try to leap a chasm in two jumps. --William Lloyd George This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. --Will Rogers