We are still in the discussion of appearances. Thoughts are the focus of this Chapter. Remember that we defined an “appearance” in Chapter Two as any temporary thing that moves or changes or comes and goes within awareness. Thoughts are clearly appearances of awareness. Let’s revisit the category of thoughts that was introduced in Chapter Two:
Thoughts: thoughts, beliefs, ideas, interpretations, concepts, opinions, judgments, stories, spiritual concepts, identities, roles, and titles.
There are many discussions about thoughts throughout this text. But let’s start with the basics. Living Realization calls the sense of a separate self, “the simulated self.” We choose this definition so that we can look at the separate self for what it is. It is a dream-like simulation appearing in what you really are — present awareness. This simulated self is not our real identity. In Living Realization, we define the simulated self as more than just the “I” thought. It is more than just thought and emotion. In fact, it is an entire physical and emotional contraction supporting a time-bound, thought-based story.
The very root of this simulated self is the “I” thought. If you trace the thought “I” back to its present source, it is revealed that your true essence is not a thought at all. It is more like a non-conceptual present awareness that is inseparably awake to the present moment, looking at life without any labels. For some, this simple invitation is all that is needed. One quick investigation to find the root of the “I” thought reveals that there is no separate “I” there. In fact, there is no root either. There is no object. There is no concept. There is nothing. There is only a clear, spacious, present seeing in which everything appears and disappears. It is a seeing in which everything is seen. And no appearance can be seen without the seeing itself. This is why we say that appearances are inseparable from awareness itself. The nonconceptual awareness that is repeatedly pointed to in this text is closer to your real identity than anything that appears in awareness including the “I” thought.
Although the root of the simulated self is the “I” thought, the simulated self is more involved than that. Living Realization uses the term, “the triangle of the simulated self,” to describe the entire conceptual apparatus of the separate self including what it is made of and what it does. The word “triangle” points to three bundles of thought: past, future, and present resistance. The simulated self is created and maintained through identifying with and emphasizing the thoughts within these three bundles, instead of recognizing awareness in every situation.
The past is considered “who you are.” This bundle of thoughts includes everything you know conceptually about who you are and what life is. More specifically, this bundle includes your name, your identity, details about your family and childhood, your education, history, the roles you play, the titles you wear, and all other aspects of your personal story. This bundle includes all political, religious, spiritual and other ideas, opinions, and beliefs you hold, all of which are also part of your story whether you see it or not. This bundle includes any mental identification you have as a member of a group. When you say, “I am a Christian,” “I am a Muslim,” “I am a scientist,” “I am an American,” or “I am a Russian,” these are all concepts with which awareness is identifying.
This past bundle includes all your ideas about the world and reality itself. Simply stated, it is anything that apparently happened in the past or any idea that was formed in the past but that has now been reduced to a memory (i.e., a thought) and become a part of the conceptual story called “me and my life.”
The only real point here is that these are all concepts. Everything you think about yourself is just that … a thought. It is a representation, a sign. All signs are pointing back to and appearing and disappearing within your real identity, which is present awareness. If you visited Texas, you would not walk up to the “Welcome to Texas” sign and claim adamantly that the sign is Texas itself. The sign is only a sign. It represents or points to something. In the same way, every concept within the past bundle represents or points to something. It points to your real identity, which is present awareness. You would not confuse the “Welcome to Texas” sign with the actual Texas. In the same way, Living Realization invites you to stop looking to past concepts for a sense of who or what you presently are. Instead, simply take a moment right now, or any other time throughout the day when it is convenient, and recognize that which is looking, which is awareness itself.
You feel a sense of separation from others and from the rest of life because you continuously rely on and emphasize thoughts from within the past bundle. You look to memory for a sense of self. This memory consists of signs or images. These signs or images are more like reflections of what you are. They are things that appear and disappear within what you really are — awareness. This separation creates an identity surrounding a sense of lack. From this sense of lack, there is a desire to find completion. This results in looking into future for that completion, which we will talk about in the section below.
The point here is that there is nothing to analyze, know, neutralize, overcome, figure out, get rid of, understand, or do with any of the thoughts that appear from the past bundle. Just recognize that they are all concepts. You are not a concept. As each thought arises, simply notice it. In noticing, you don’t let go of the thought. It falls away naturally on its own, resolving itself back into present awareness. Notice that what is looking is present awareness. That is what you really are. The recognition of that present awareness is an end in and of itself. It resolves the identity crisis completely. You are this present awareness. It is that simple. No concept can be what you are because all concepts appear within what you are.
The future is considered “who you are going to become.” This bundle of thoughts includes everything you know or think you know conceptually about the future “you.” More specifically, this bundle includes stories about the next moment, tomorrow, next week, next year, and the rest of your life. Simply stated, it is anything that you believe needs to happen in the future for you to be at peace or anything that you fear will happen in the future that will threaten your sense of self.
This bundle includes thoughts of future fulfillment with regard to relationships, jobs, career, material items, fame, prestige, attention, praise, acknowledgement, and seeking pleasurable fixes through drugs, alcohol, tobacco, eating, shopping, sex or gambling. It includes thoughts of future spiritual awakening also. All of these concepts fall under the umbrella of hope. The central, mostly unconscious, fuel behind each idea surrounding hope is as follows: I hope X will happen. If X happens, I will be ok.
The future bundle is not only about hope. The flipside of hope is fear. The future bundle also includes any fearful thoughts about the future including failure, suffering, and death. The central, mostly unconscious, fuel behind each idea surrounding fear is as follows: I fear that Y will happen. If Y happens, I will be threatened or will die.
The point here is that there is nothing to analyze, know, neutralize, overcome, figure out, get rid of, understand, or do with any of the thoughts that appear from the future bundle, regardless of whether the thoughts surround the notion of hope or fear. Just recognize that they are all concepts. You are not a concept. By continuously entertaining the future bundle, the simulated self is being maintained. This self feels separate and looks to future for completion. But completion cannot be found in time. Time is merely another thought. In other words, there is no way to entertain the notion of a next moment, a tomorrow, a next month, or a next year without thinking. Each of those are merely concepts appearing and disappearing within present awareness, which is what you really are.
As each thought about the future appears, simply notice it. In noticing, you don’t let go of the thought. It falls away naturally on its own, resolving itself effortless back into present awareness. Every manifest thing in the universe — including thought — has a temporary life span. Noticing just means noticing that all thoughts of future appear and disappear within present awareness. In noticing the thoughts, notice that what is looking is present awareness. That is what you are. Recognizing that you are is what is looking in the here and now and not any of the appearances that are coming and going (i.e., the concepts) resolves the identity crisis completely. The search for future ends right now, in this seeing.
The third bundle of thoughts within the triangle is the present resistance bundle. This includes any mental interpretations of the present moment, especially those that are in resistance to your present experience including blaming, complaining, judging, comparing, and any other thought that makes it appear that something that is happening now ought not to be happening.
The point here is that there is nothing to analyze, know, neutralize, overcome, figure out, get rid of, understand, or do with any of the thoughts that appear from the present resistance bundle. Just recognize that they are all concepts. You are not a concept. By continuously entertaining thoughts from this bundle, the simulated self is maintained. This simulated self is fueled by continuously resisting, through mental interpretation, what is happening in the present moment.
As each thought of present resistance appears, simply notice it. In noticing, you don’t let go of the thought. It falls away naturally. Notice that what is looking is present awareness. Present awareness is what you are. In recognizing present awareness, you see that awareness is naturally and effortlessly accepting of whatever is happening right now. You also see that whatever is happening is an appearance within awareness. You see that no appearance can appear without awareness. This is the seeing that appearances are inseparable from awareness. This is the true meaning of acceptance.
With respect to all three bundles mentioned above, this is not about getting trapped in an ongoing process of witnessing. It is not about creating a duality between the witness and the appearances that are seen. Living Realization invites you to see that you are the awareness within which all thoughts inseparably appear and disappear. The thought is not separate from awareness itself. These thoughts are happening within awareness. They are the movement of awareness itself. Awareness is not a thing. It is the awake space within which thoughts happen. Therefore, these thoughts are happening to no one, which is to say that the separate self that you take yourself to be is, in fact, not real. This is why we call it a simulation. Therefore, any other concept about a separate witness who witnesses life and is somehow separate from what is happening is just another story within the past bundle of thoughts. It is yet another concept that awareness has identified with. By simply noticing that thought, it falls away. That which notices the thought, “I am the separate witness” is what you really are — awareness. These thoughts appear inseparably within what you are. There is no self separate from life. There is only life itself. You are THAT. In that recognition, when the personal self is seen through, there is a natural care and compassion for life itself including all sentient beings.
Is the intellect an obstacle to the recognition of present awareness?
It sure can appear that the intellect is an obstacle to the recognition of awareness. But it appears that way only because there is a sense of self invested in the intellect. As we stated in the paragraph above regarding the past bundle, we often identify with our intellect, believing it to hold the key to our real identity. Much of our search through philosophy, religion, science, and spirituality and many other intellectual pursuits are based on an underlying desire to answer questions like, “Who am I?” and “What is life?” These are questions revolving around the idea of identity. In recognizing present awareness as our real identity, the identity crisis is solved fully and finally. It is also seen that awareness is the same as space itself. Can the intellect harm space? Of course the intellect cannot harm space. No appearance can harm awareness. So the intellect cannot harm or obstruct what you are. The intellect is an amazing appearance within what you are. It is not to be denied or repressed. Who would do that? In that seeing, there may be a great desire to read and study philosophy, religion, science, spirituality, or some other intellectual pursuit or there may be no desire to do any of that. In any event, in the recognition of awareness, there is no longer a need to look for the answer to the question, “Who am I?” in any appearance, including in any intellectual pursuit.
Does thought obscure awareness?
Again, it can appear that there are things that obscure or obstruct awareness. But remember the central invitation in Living Realization: Recognize awareness right now. Do not move to manipulate any appearance. See that the appearances are not separate from awareness. Thoughts are appearances of awareness. Appearances cannot happen without awareness. In other words, there is no way for a thought to appear without the screen of awareness on which it appears. Rather than obscuring or obstructing awareness, thought actually proves that awareness is here. See that every thought comes and goes temporarily within awareness, yet no thought is awareness itself.
What should I do to get rid of my ego or “simulated self” as you call it?
In Living Realization, we don’t move to get rid of ego. This is about a seeing, a realization. In this seeing, whatever it is that is not your true identity will be seen through naturally in the recognition of awareness. This is not about personal will. Don’t make ego death your project. It’s a project that only the ego would be interested in.
The basic invitation invites us to “not manipulate appearances.” Doesn't this place us in a situation in which we do nothing? A place of detachment, complacency, and nihilism? If there is no self, why give a damn at all? The world was built on doing. Things only get done when I think about them and take action. You seem to be advocating laziness.
This comes from a misunderstanding. It comes from relying on thought or mental viewpoints to understand awareness or understand or predict what it would be like in the future if you were to recognize awareness. That is not the recognition of awareness, which is our ever present identity.
When there is identification with thought, you believe you are this thought-based self. You believe this thought-based self is acting autonomously as if this self can set itself apart from the rest of life and be in control of all future outcomes and make the other parts (i.e., selves and things) react a certain way and do certain things. For most people, this attempt at control doesn't work. It can, in fact, cause great suffering. Separation is the root of suffering.
In the story of self, some plans and attempts at controlling future outcomes seem to work out the way we would like them to. Other times, they don't seem to work out at all. Everyone has the right to continue believing that his or her identity resides in and as this thoughtbased self. No one is required to be interested in the recognition of awareness. You can go on living life from the sense of a personal will that tries to bring about future outcomes.
But when we begin to be interested in the experiential recognition of awareness as our real identity, this opens the door to a totally new possibility. In the recognition of awareness, we see that personal will and the attempts at control are just thoughts appearing and disappearing in present awareness. They have no power of their own. They are all based in the false assumption that there is a central, separate entity within us that can manage the various appearances in life (thoughts, emotions, states, sensations, and experiences). We come to see that this is not the case. These appearances come and go on their own. They have a life of their own. Life is living itself. We are not individuals who can set ourselves apart from life and act autonomously. We are not individual, separate managers of life who act completely independently of the rest of life.
In seeing through that separate self sense, the self-centeredness that comes with it is also seen through. We naturally stop acting from this place of self-centeredness, this place of trying to control outcomes, gain personal gratification, and fixate on personal stories. As this self is seen through, we realize that awareness has a natural wisdom that is not self-centered. We become interested, naturally, in being of service to others. We don't even insist that there are no others as a belief. Awareness is not about relying on beliefs. There is a knowing that there are no others and then, paradoxically, we become interested in being of service anyway. The mind trying to figure that out will only confuse itself. This is why it is important to keep awareness on the experiential level, rather than trying to understand it. No one understands awareness. It isn't a thought. It is what we are. We cannot understand what we are. We can only recognize and be what we are.
In the recognition of awareness, life continues unfolding. We don't sit on our couches in some belief about “non-doing” or “there is no one and nothing to do.” Those are ideas that come and go in awareness just as »I'm a separate person who does things and controls outcomes« is an idea that comes and goes within awareness. Ideas continue arising in the recognition of awareness, but we are not interested in treating ideas as “truth” anymore. There is no reason to rely on them anymore. We identify with thought only when we believe our identity can be found there. In seeing that our identity is awareness, we stop looking for absolute truth and identity in thought.
And so a wisdom, love, peace, freedom, and compassion that is not based in identification with ideas, but rather is based in the recognition of awareness itself, begins to reveal itself naturally. We then get the sense that we are being lived rather than separate selves in charge and in control. This is not an attitude of laziness, complacency, or nihilism. In some respects, there is more responsibility than ever, because the selfcenteredness is seen through. Laziness, complacency, and nihilism are all viewpoints of the separate self. They come from believing that awareness is something separate from the world, something we escape into so that we can leave all responsibility behind. Many get caught in that trap. Awareness is not about escape. It is not about detachment. It takes a separate person to detach itself from the world. The world has no separate existence from awareness. The world is a set of appearances and these appearances can never appear separate from awareness. The world is awareness and awareness is the world. This seeing reveals that the recognition of awareness is not about complacency and self-centered detachment or non-doing. Doing continues on, without the selfcenteredness behind it.
Remember, keep it simple! Above all else, recognize present awareness right now. Don’t move to manipulate thoughts. Don’t move to get rid of the separate, simulated self. See that thoughts and this simulated self are inseparable appearances of what you really are — awareness.