**Don't Fear the Beeper** (AI Generated)
*(to the tune of "Don't Fear the Reaper" but with way more pockets)*

**Verse 1**
All our friends say we're prehistoric
They've got smartphones, ours just say "*CALL ME*"
But I don't care, I'm feeling nostalgic
Plastic clip hangin' from my belt proudly

I don't need apps, I don't need touchscreens
No cracked glass, no distraction scenes
Just a little box that screams at me
In pixelated urgency

**Pre-Chorus**
I was eating soup, it starts to squeal
I spill my lunch, but that's the deal
Could be work, could be Mom again
Could be nothing, but I gotta check it then

**Chorus**
*Don't fear the beeper*
*Take the message later*
*It's just a number, not a crisis*
*Don't fear the beeper*

*(beep-beep... beep-beep...)*

**Verse 2**
Doctor on call, or pizza's ready
Or my buddy just paged me "*BORED*"
Could be an emergency... maybe
Or someone butt-dialed their keyboard

I run to a phone like it's 1990
Drop a quarter, hope it still works
Dial the digits with hands all sweaty
Was that a seven or a two? Oh, dirt.

**Pre-Chorus**
The beeper knows where I've been
Bathroom stall? It pages then
Movie night? Romantic date?
*BEEP* - "Call me ASAP"

**Chorus**
*Don't fear the beeper*
*No ringtones shrieker*
*Just a tiny box of panic*
*Don't fear the beeper*

**Bridge**
La-la-la... *beep beep beep*
La-la-la... *low battery*
La-la-la... *clip just broke*
Now it's sliding down my pant leg, folks

**Verse 3**
Sure it can't stream or take selfies
No games, no maps, no memes to share
But when it buzzes, it feels important
Like *someone* somewhere actually cares

It won't spy on me, won't sell my data
Doesn't ask me to update now
It just goes *BEEP* like an angry cricket
And demands I find a phone somehow

**Final Chorus**
*Don't fear the beeper*
*It's retro flavor*
*Living life one urgent buzz at a time*
*Don't fear the beeper*

*(beep... beep... cowbell... beep)*

**Outro**
So if it buzzes at three A.M.
Relax, breathe deep, don't hyperventilate
It's probably not the end of the world
Just your boss...
...or a wrong number...
...from 1998.

*BEEP.*

.