Today I just have a lot of little thoughts all wanting to get out at once.

First, I find myself becoming increasingly aware and self-conscious of these
posts all starting with (or nearly starting with "I").  I this, I that, me me me
Well, I don't think there's much I can do about that.  This is not a two-way
communication medium.  There is no one here but me and my thoughts.  I guess
I could make up different names for the different aspects of my personality and
thus could avoid saying "I" all the time but that sounds like a step on the
road to insanity, or at least the appearance of insanity.

If *YOU* want to comment, or add to the conversation; if *YOU* want to have a
conversation about anything I write here or anything else well the system
serving you this document using the gopher protocol isn't just a gopher server,
in-fact that's just it's "side hustle", it's actually a BBS and one designed
first and foremost to be a community.  One designed to work like IRC (but with
chat history, so maybe IRCv3?).  It also has tradiational BBS style bulletin
boards (message bases) but for real-time or semi-real-time conversation then
the chat rooms are better.  Also I hang out there almost all day every weekday
because I have to sit in front of my computer at work all day anyway so I might
as well be available on my board in case anyone wants to pop in and say hi.
telnet: mutinybbs.com port 2300

Second, I also find myself making complainer posts.  Maybe I'm complaining about
politics or the current state of the "dead" internet.  I am aware that this is
a real downer and also I'm not really adding to the conversation as I'm not
really saying anything that others are not saying and also you probably
already know this stuff otherwise why would you be on a gopher site? :)

So what do I have to offer a curious cybernaut as they explore the infinite
depths of cyberspace?  Well, I'll try to offer more.  For now I'll say that
since last spring I've been, daily, recording a radio show (well the internet
streams of various radio stations) and providing these recordings as
downloads via Gopher.  The show is Echoes, it's a syndicated radio show on a
lot of NPR stations that plays kind of electronica music with some other stuff
mixed in.  It's kind of hit-or-miss but there has been some good stuff.  I
am probably in violation of some intellectual property rights by doing this but
for now I don't really care if you don't.

Also there's a weekly show called Midnight Audio Theater also provided.  This
is kind of a variety of different dramas and comedies.  It's usually worth a
listen.

Another thing I've been thinking of providing is some photography.  One of my
hobbies is photography with my DSLR camera.  Although photos can be made
available via Gopher, the web is a better place to do that.  Also the BBS
doesn't really provide an easy way to upload photos to your public Gopher
directory.  Being the sysop I can, of course, circumvent that limitation and
just plop the files in the directory manually but I'd feel bad that I'm not
offering that same functionality to other users.

So for the moment I'm on the fence considering if this system should also
offer an http server but I'm leaning to: no.

The third random thing on my mind today is that I have decided to try some
THC gummies.  I'm not a weed smoker, though I have smoked some in the past.
But life is really stressful right now on all levels both work and outside of
work.  I have zero friends here in this city, never "clicked" with anyone
since I moved here.  It's just me and my wife and we often find ourselves
unloading our stresses on each other which just kind of creates a stress
feedback loop.  I have been doing more drinking to try to calm myself and
relax and just try to disconnect.  When I say "drinking", I don't mean hard
alcohol, I mean like a single 12 oz beer (usually a tastey one because I'm
kind of a beer snob) maybe 2 or 3 times a week, with dinner.

That doesn't sound like much.  Even so I am getting to the age where it is
starting to have an adverse effect on my health.  It's kind of random and
unpredictable but if I have a beer there's about a 50% chance I will not
sleep well, I will wake up with dark circles under my eyes and feeling like
I was struggling all night.  I am not a very healthy person and have been
getting into and out of colds a lot more frequently than I should have,
especially for someone with no children in his life (children are germ
factories).

So, yesterday I hopped into a dispensary and got some THC gummies, I thought
that might be a healthier alternative.  I'll give it a shot this evening and
see how it goes.  I just hope it doesn't affect my cognative abilities since
my job is basically solving puzzles all day.

The last thing is also health related.  I think I want to try some kind of
testoserone supplement.  I think when you go looking for that stuff a lot of it
is marketed as "male enhancement" (boner pills), that's not really what I'm
looking for.  My sexual energies are pretty much in sync with my wife's and
that's all that matters.  But as I age I do find myself feeling tired, easily
worn out (low stamina), depressed, stressed, feeling less confident and other
such symptoms which can be associated with men my age as the testoserone levels
decrease.

What I'm not sure of is exactly what to get.  I don't want to go to a doctor
because here in the US (and especially where I live) we don't really have
doctors.  We have egotistical assholes that charge large sums of money to
be condescending and rude.  So I'm looking at over-the-counter things.  These
aren't pills containing testoserone but are containing various herbs and
minerals that claim to "promote a healthy testoserone level in men".  But,
of course, how would I know what's real (if any of it) and what's placebo?

I can't even go off of reviews because there's so many fake reviews nothing
can be trusted.  I guess I'll just have to throw some money at one of these
products, try it for a while, and see if I have any results which could be
more than just the placebo effect.
.