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    *** Shayna I am ***

When my dad wrote this, I was 13 years old.  I live in
absolute squalor with my sister, Brenna.  I have four 
brothers, with various levels of brain damage.  It is too 
fun to be me!

     *** Shayna's Dad is Fan-stinking-tastic! ***

You have probably already figured out that Shayna's Dad is 
writing this to show Shayna how to use her Portal!  This is 
because he is the greatest Dad on Earth.

Yeah right, Dad.

       *** THE REAL COOL STUFF ***

I'm a homeschooled kid in New Mexico, where I live with the 
weirdest family alive. I know that a LOT of kids must say 
this, but in my case it's absoulutly, positivly, definitly 
true. I have one sister, Brenna, and four brothers.

The family line goes somthing like this:

 -Dad -- a wierd guy, and gets frustrated easily. I think he 
suffers from mood swings, but I'm no therapist. Besides, he 
was my ticket into three years of homeschool. So I can't 
complain.

 -Mom -- a wonderful, wonderful person. Barely gets mad, 
and-ooooh! What a cook! I have to compliment her on this. 
Wonderful food-MMMMM! Most people thinks she is an orginized 
and calm and sensible mother. I'm here to tell you that she 
MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT! Although she is wonderful, she is 
usually streesed out at everything, and if you walked into 
our house, you would see mass mayhem and house-wide 
destruction. As for sinsible, I'm the one to turn on the 
volume on the phone, and turn on the VCR. But she is very 
smart too.

 -Shayna -- That's right, the oldest kid, isn't that so 
utterly COOL?! I'm what they call a vertically 
UN-challenged. At the moment, I'm 5' 7". I'm an artist, or 
trying to become one, and want to know somthing wierd? 
Both my Grandpa, and my Grammie are artists! So it's only 
natural that I get saddled with the talent. (Am I being 
cocky?) I also take after my dad, both in height, and in 
writing skills. I'm currently writing a book, because 
that's one of my great assignments, to write a book, send 
it to three publishers, and get three refusals. So you can 
see my great enthusiasm for this project.

What do I get from Mom? Hmmmm. Short neck and high stress 
levels.

 -Matt -- Okay, ready for the big shocker? My younger 
brother (Two years younger to be exact) Matt is what normal 
kids call Retarted. The experts call it autism. It's when 
half the brain doesn't work, and if you ever meet Matt, you 
can't tell till you talk to him. He's a great kid, except 
he never knew that violence is a BAD thing to do when you 
don't know what you're doing. But Power Rangers was the 
first TV show the poor kid ever watched, so he knew that 
there IS violence in the world. (He just proved this by 
kicking his door like a ninja.) Matt is oblivious to 
anything outside New Mexico, and is unaware that there is a 
real world outside his bedroom, where he plays with his 
Bionicles.

 -Brenna -- This is the dog lover. She loves dogs, but 
ignores Asher. (The dog that I had for about six months but 
Matt tried to kill, so he's now my Grammie's puppy.) She's 
scared to death of any dogs bigger than Giant Schnauzer. 
But I guess that's okay, since I HATE bugs. I share a room 
with her, and we despise each others decorations. She into 
dogs, I'm into Tropical fish and outer space.

She doesn't do cleaning, while I do an okay job, (Minus the 
mess behind the computer desk) But otherwise, she is really 
cute, and at nine years old, is starting to see that school 
is a cruel and heartless place, and that all kids think 
you're stupid if you say you don't understand. She loves me 
to death, and somtimes hangs on me like a vine on a tree. 
But what totally cool little sister doesn't?

 -Josh -- The cutest member of our family, besides the 
twins, and the most sweet. We always said that he'd have 
the girls flocking around him by the dozens when he grew up. 
Our mistake was the grown up stuff.

The girls love him to death. Some of his best friends are 
girls, and when we went to the dinosaur museum to go on a 
tour with his class, HO-BOY! He was holding hands with a 
girl! When he saw us though, he let go immediately.

I can't blame the girl, he is SO cute! But at six years old? 
No. Out of the question. At least, that's what Mom said.

 -Sam and K.O. -- Samuel and Caleb to you. They're twins, 
and according to the teacher at school, the sweest kids 
in the world. But the teacher is paid to say that I bet. At 
home, their cute. But SO ANNOYING!!!

Whenever me or Dad try to consintrate on working. They come 
howling to make us turn on the TV.  But they are very cute. 
Like little baby dolls. Except they're Three, instead of 
newborns.


Well there you have it. I won't mention the REALLY wierd 
stuff, since I don't want to be blushing for the rest of my 
life. 

Okay, so I'm a sucker for a challenge. I guess I'll be 
blushing for the rest of my life. So, here goes...

 Best friends: None. They all moved away. In fact, the 
last one moved away just four weeks ago.

 Best subject in homeshcooling: Art, of course. And the 
additional bonus of annoying dad to the brink of death.

 Best read book in my collection: I'd have to say...well, 
all of them.

 Wierdness level from 1 to 10: Definatly an eleven.

 Wierdest family member (internatinal): Hmmm. I need to 
think about this a while.

 Favorite movie: I'd have to say Back to the Future, 
and Lilo and Stitch.

 Favorite singers: Amy Grant, Shania Twain, Baha Men, 
And that really cool thing, although he's a composer, 
not a singer, it goes somthing like this: 
Da Da Da Dum! Da Dum Da Dum! Don't know why I like it, 
though. Oh, yeah! The guys name is Strauuse. I think 
that's how you spell it.

 Latest projects: Writing a story.

 Favorite sports so far: Rollerblading, soccer, and 
basketball. I'm starting to understand volleyball. I like 
swimming also, but in New Mexico, it's not really 
considered a sport.

 Favorite animals: Horses, Quagga (extinct), sphinx 
(The only cat I'm NOT alergic to) and of course, my 
little Asher!

 Favorite pastime: Reading. We don't have TV.

 Love of my life: Oooh! Nice try.

 Favorite stuffed animal: Wind, my stuffed Horse. I 
still sleep with her, but I'm becoming less and less 
attatched to her, so I guess I'm getting what they call, 
MATURE. Not.

 Question most asked: Are you a boy, or a girl? (I think I 
was asked this question since I was born, because I have 
short hair, and wear VERY modest clothing, which only boys 
wear now, so I look like a boy. And I like short hair. You 
don't have to do anything with it, just comb it, and you're 
ready to go. I think most of the girls in the world are WAY 
too dainty. I like getting dirty. My dad lectured me once, 
when I was exceptionally dirty. But who cares? Everyone 
does.)

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