10d6


If I opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd want to call it Tramp-O-Land because you might think it was a store for tramps and that would not be the sort of impression we would want to give. However, I would not prohibit tramps from using our equipment unless their gyrations bothered the customers.
When I was younger, I remember Old Man Beamish who lived down the street. Every Saturday he'd go down to the pond and get a big jar full of tadpoles. Then he'd nail them to a big wheel and spin it around and yell, `Tadpoles! Tadpoles a winner!' We all thought he was crazy but then, we had some growing up to do.
Last summer, I was visiting relatives and my little cousin Sidney wanted to go to Disneyland. When we were halfway there I drove to an old, abandoned warehouse and said, `Awwww, Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried but deep down, I think he thought it was a good joke.
If God is love and love is blind and Ray Charles is blind, then Ray Charles is God.
I wish I had a kryptonite cross. That way I could keep away Dracula _and_ Superman.
If there was a really bad storm with floods and hurricanes and tornadoes and somehow his dog lived through it and the next day he wound up on your porch, I think a good name for him would be `Carl.'
Whenever I go into town, I like to carry two sacks with me. That way, if anyone asks me to help them with something, I can just say, `Sorry. I've got these two sacks.'
Two plus two does not equal five, even for moderately large values of two.
If you're ever on the Empire State Building, and you fall off, let your body go really limp like a dummy. People might see you falling and try to catch you because, hey...free dummy!
I tried to pick which one was smaller, but neither piles looked very smaller.
Maybe instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we still be brothers?
I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fisherman caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then, they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy - something like that.
If you ever teach a yodelling class, probably the hardest thing to do is to keep the students from trying to yodel right off. You see, we _build_ to that.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
To me, boxing is like ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
If trees could scream, would be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might be, if the screamed all the time for no good reason.
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous animal is not the lion or tiger or even the elephant. The most dangerous animal is a shark riding on an elephant, just trampling and eating everything they see.
As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp, juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all but a HUMAN HEAD!
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the dirt and beg for it.
If the Vikings were around today, they'd probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.
It's not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it on and really scare you.
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.
Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. Then I think, "Aww... who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?"
If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.

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